on Page 5922 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Memphis Football Coach Thinks Memphis Maybe Shouldn't Have A Football Team
This is why you generally don't let the coach that you just fired hold a press conference to tell everyone why your school sucks so much. "Help this football program....or do away with it." [MyFoxMemphis, via OnlineSportsGuys]...

Stephen A. Smith's Return To Print Is Imminent?
After messy arbitration hearings with the Philadelphia Inquirer, it appears the beleaguered paper will announce the unwelcome return of ALL CAPS column-writing. Yes, Stephen A. will be "back on staff" again very, very soon, sources say. Sock? Still retired....

<em>Boston Herald</em> Loves Hometown Sports Fella For His Zaniness
I guess Simmons is searching for the stock Reilly®-esque friendly choke-fight pose during this book tour to better showcase his personality. He calls this one "wacky lobster clawed stroke victim." [BH]...

Girls Soccer Is Now The Ultimate Combat Sport
You thought New Mexico's Elizabeth Lambert was tough? Wait until you see the next generation of female soccer hooligans who will take over America with their very unladylike football skills....

Kiss Dick Bavetta Goodbye?
Bavetta, the Barkley-kissing ref suspected of involvement in pretty much every conspiracy dating back to the assassination of Caesar, says he might retire at season's end. At least, that's what David Stern told him to say. [Orlando Sentinel, via Slam]...

Jenn Sterger Says Goodbye To Some Old Friends
"In an effort to reinvent myself, in a cut throat industry that was becoming more and more competitive the deeper I swam, I made the decision to go against the grain and remove my implants." Courage, America. Courage. [Officially...Jenn]...

“My Coach Broke My Collarbone.” Your First Edition Of A-HOLE COACH DIGEST
I've been thinking about terrible coaches lately. Coaches that are not merely incompetent, but also paranoid, megalomaniacal, and prickish. Coaches that are praised for having such qualities, particularly at the college and high school levels....

Larry Johnson Raises Kansas City's Unemployment Rate By One
The Chiefs have released the unhappy running back, denying him the chance to break the team's all-time rushing yards mark. (He was 75 shy of Priest Holmes' record.) There really is no I in "public relations nightmare"team. [KansasCityStar]...

Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....

Al Michaels Would Like To Clear Something Up
I don't know if this was Al, a phlegmy Cris Collinsworth, or one very sick statistician, but who the hell hocked up a (presumably) gigantic loogie on air last night? Do they have spittoons in the booth? [Video via NBC]...

Making Out At The Game? Bring Your Own Cheering Section
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The End Of The Celebration
I promise, this is the last bit of Yankee fan homerism I'll be posting for a while. But I doubt many of you will complain about this one....

Great Moments In Press/Coach Relations
A reporter got the pregame scoop that two UCF players would be inactive. Here's audio of coach George O'Leary throwing a big old hissy fit and trying to bar the reporter from his postgame press conference. [Orlando Sentinel]...

Sammy Sosa Would Like To Clear Up Some Things About His Skin
Sammy Sosa is not hoping to star in the White Chicks sequel. It is not some kind of alleged side affect from any alleged substances he allegedly may have put in his body. He just wants to be beautiful!...

Metrodome Memories Are A Little Pathetic
Since the Twins have a fancy new field, it was time to get rid of all the leftover stuff at the Metrodome. A phrase comes to mind: "And nothing of value was lost."...

Chelsea! Man U! Dental Hygiene!
A thrilling 1-0 game between the clubs atop the table is no reason for this Chelsea supporter to forget to brush his teeth mid-match. [Off The Post]...

Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...

Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....

Nick Swisher Is A 12-Year-Old Fangirl
As the Yankees cleaned out their lockers, "Nick Swisher's teammate photo collage, snipped from Yankees gameday programs and newspaper back pages, remained affixed to his locker." [MLB.com]...

Ever Dream Of Shaq? You're Not Alone
In the grand tradition of experimental Dirk Nowitzki fiction, we bring you something we can't explain. Student art project? Ramblings of a madman? Signs of the impending Ashaqalypse? Check your sanity at the door....