on Page 5947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....
Cardinals Defense Takes A Holliday
That is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to lose a playoff game. Commenter SavetoFavorites: "Kinda curious how the best fans in baseball will welcome Matt Holliday back home after this one." [Leitch's Twitter]...
Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...
Fisting Chip Caray
America has its first postseason goat, and he is Harry Christopher Caray III, better known as Chip, the nepotistic unemployable who was so bad in Tuesday's tiebreaker that he momentarily made baseball fans forget that the Tigers were totally jobbed....
Cole Hamels Leaves Game When Wife Goes Into Labor
Hamels left with his stick-figure artist wife, Heidi, after she went into labor with their first child. Hamels had given up four runs and seven hits in five innings, laying, as if in sympathy, an enormous Game 2 egg. [ESPN]...
Good Guys Wear Briefs
Here's a video of a sad White Sox vendor in his underwear horsewhipping a bench. This is apparently some grand tradition that dates back to those days when the Sox were managed by the Marquis de Sade. [Sun-Times]...
White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....
Old-School Skunk And The Ripe-Tomato Eyes Of Pete Johnson
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
Breaking: Member Of New York Sports Media Writes Insightful Derek Jeter Story
Ian O'Connor provides a tangible reason for Captain Intangibles' rediscovered greatness: a fitness trainer who loosened up Jeter's stiff left hip, which previously had turned him into statuary any time a ball was hit toward second. So clutch! [Bergen Record]...
The Most Hopeless Franchise In Football. Jamboroo, Week 5
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Philly Fans Aren't The Only Ones Who Get Stabby
Lost and forlorn over Monday night's lost to the rival Vikings, one Packer fan took it upon himself to show one loudmouth he couldn't take the heckling anymore. So he stabbed him in the stomach. [StarTribune]...
A Solo On The Toy Drum
You've read our "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, in which journalists share their bizarre encounters with sports figures and, frequently, their genitalia. Consider this the reverse: Sports figures share their (and, perhaps, their genitalia's) bizarre encounters with journalists....
The Nationals Should Give This Guy Season Tickets For Life
Great story from Captain Steinberg, still exiled in Bogville, about a Nationals fan who saw 19 home games for D.C.'s awful baseball team this year — and they managed to lose every single one of them....
So, How Are Those Replacement Refs Working Out?
Scab refs called 75 fouls during last night's Celtics-Rockets preseason game. The teams combined to shoot 102 free throws. The NBA: Where play stoppage happens. [Chron.com, via TrueHoop]...
The Shiancoesaurus Made Another Subtle, Brief Appearance Monday Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Shot By Gun-Toting Husband
Tragic outcome to this story which made national news last year ago. Melanie Hain, a soccer mother who showed up at her daughter's soccer game packing heat, was shot to death by her husband in an apparent murder-suicide. [PennLive]...
George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Time To Clear The Air Jordan
MJ will be a special assistant to the Americans at this weekend's Presidents Cup, but he won't have his signature cigar in hand. Why not? Liberals!...
Marshall's AD Is Surrounded By College Girls
Until he can find permanent housing, Mike Hamrick is living in an all-female dorm wing. He's living every man's dream, except the women are all half his age. So, yeah, he's living every man's dream. [The Parthenon]...