on Page 5977 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Erin Andrews Still Being Victimized
By People magazine. Wrong blonde lady who was supposedly boned by a steely-eyed Red Sox catcher, guys! [People]...
Brett Favre's Just A Kid Out There Who Wants To End Your Career
As noted earlier, Brett Favre launched himself in the direction of Eugene Wilson's cruciate ligaments last night — an undeniable prick move that surely no one would chalk up to Favre's oft-cited youthful exuberance. Right?...
No One In Jacksonville Will Be Forced To Watch The Jaguars
Twelve NFL teams could be affected by blackout rules this year—only three teams had blackouts last season—including Jacksonville, where local television may end up broadcasting zero home games. It's still better than living in Tallahassee. [SBJ]...
Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves
The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters....
Why Your Team Sacks: New England Patriots
Some people are fans of the New England Patriots. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New England Patriots. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter grou......
What Is The Michigan Story Really About?
Everyone is really worked up about Rich Rodriguez and his problems at Michigan, but maybe there's something else going on here that doesn't have anything to do with the Wolverines....
Thomas Jones Had Some Festive Birthday Party Entertainment
You should see these ladies make balloon animals. It's a sight to behold. [JerseyChaser]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Oakland Raiders
Some people are fans of the Oakland Raiders. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Oakland Raiders. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Erin Andrews Opens Up To Oprah And ESPN Finally Says Something
The world waits in rapt funeral amazement September 11, when we'll see Erin Andrews props herself on the important chair with Oprah Winfrey to share her horrifying tale of peepdom with America's Mom Nation. A summary of her appearance....
NFL Preemptively Stops First Twitter Touchdown Celebration
As expected, the NFL has laid down a formal law banning the use of Twitter during games, providing fans with at least one safe haven in the ongoing war to see who can be the league's most obnoxious player....
Adam Jones Heads To Great White North
The Pack-Man, as I will always know him, signed a one-year deal with the Winnipeg Blue Bombers of the CFL. I wonder if NAFTA covers importation of strip club labor. [Canadian Press]...
Rough Hit Destroys Belgian Soccer Player's Lower Leg
Speaking of horrible below-the-knee shots, our squeamish readers should avert their eyes from Axel Witsel's challenge on Marcin Wasilewski. And by "challenge" I mean "dividing his lower leg into two distinct pieces." Take a moment to compose yourself....
Please Make This Cougar Phenomenon Go Away
Seriously. Just stop. Fellas, if you need a release that bad, act like everyone else and patronize your local washy-wash. You'll feel slightly less humiliated. [7x7]...
White Sox Trade Jim Thome, Throw In The Towel
The White Sox, losers of four in a row, have fallen six games behind the division-leading Tigers. And since it's now September, there's really no point in trying anymore. Time to start shedding contracts and call it a season....
Aim For The Knees, Brett!
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Please Help Us With The 2009 FAILgate Project
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. We do not want those stories....
MMA Fighter's Tats Are Ultimately Offensive
How does swastika-betatted MMA fighter Toni Valtonen work up the proper level of anger toward his opponents in the ring? Probably by visualizing them in yarmulkes, stealing his money....
Options Market Gives Sports Teams An Exciting New Way To Rip You Off
Scalping tickets is a pain in the butt, but what if we could take the simple, rational investment principles of the modern stock market and bring them to the ticket resale market? You'll need to start by grabbing your ankles....
Breaking: ESPN.com Commenter Adds Valuable Perspective
Appended to the ESPN.com story about Weepin' Rich Rodriguez's press conference was an intriguing comment from one utah_utes_33. "I play for a D-I football program," utah_utes_33 begins....
Erin Andrews To Sit Down And Weep On Oprah September 11
So says Deitsch Tweets: The timing of this event couldn't be anymore perfect. Mourn appropriately. If you or anyone you know was at the taping last week, contact me ([email protected]), please. [RichardDeitsch] (Full release after jump)...