on Page 5978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Plague Of Insects Descends Upon Scott Boras' Angel Stadium Suite
"The bees occupied his front-row seats directly behind home plate for the first two innings. They were removed with the help of a vacuum during the third inning." And then, lo, the Lord hardened the superagent's heart. [AP]...
You Made Rich Rodriguez Cry
ESPN interrupted Bill Belichick getting choked up over Teddy Bruschi so America could watch Rich Rodriguez get choked up about all the mean things the Detroit Free Press wrote about him. Why are our football coaches so sad?...
One Man's Old Fake Plastic Penis Utility Belt Is Another Man's Sports Memorabilia
$750. That's how much the owner of a Mankato sports bar payed to own Onterrio Smith's storied Whizzinator. "I'd love to have the Original Whizzinator on display. ... I'm going to use it."[RandBall]...
They're Not Saying "Boo!" They're Saying "I Hope You Die In A House Fire, You Pansy"
Jay Cutler returned to Denver last night for the first time since his temper tantrum-induced trade and did moderately well for a first half. A Neckbeard-less Kyle Orton also suffered a sewing injury on his index finger. [DenverPost]...
A Rough Night For Alabama High School Football
A head coach and a referee died in two separate incidents during the opening night of high school football in Alabama on Friday....
The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny Destined To Fail
Remember last week when I awarded Colorado the National League championship? Yeah, that was fun. It just goes to show you that a watched pot of history-making sports feats usually doesn't boil....
Old Boxers Never Die (Of The Reason You Think)
Alexis Arguello Jr. is convinced that his world champion father did not kill himself. "My dad had been through three failed marriages, alcoholism, crack, the worst things someone could go through. But he would not do this." [Fanhouse]...
Bleacher Seat Almost As Good As Owner's Box
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
The Adventures Of Blazer Girl In Bristol
Blazer Girl recently toured ESPN's Bristol compound as part of the network's 30th anniversary celebration. She encountered several strange and frightening plastic creatures. She also encountered the decoy coyotes. Her photos and a full report....
Hooray! America Is Still Dominant In Something!
The U.S. has won another LLWS. Let us reflect on the wise words of former attorney general Herbert Brownell: "The young Americans who compose the Little League will prove a hitless target for the peddlers of godless ideology." [AP]...
Timberwolves Cornering The Market On Scrappy White Guys You Probably Hated In The '80s
New Minnesota coach Kurt Rambis is adding former Bad Boy Bill Laimbeer to his staff. Tom Chambers should probably check in with his agent right about now. [Star Tribune]...
Did Miguel Tejada Tip Pitches In 2001?
The New York Times seems to think he did, only the paper says so in such a mealymouthed and sidelong way that one starts to wonder if something else is going on here....
Jonah Keri Cheats Death
"A deafening series of violent bumps. A patch of thickly clustered trees. A terrified scream. A sickening crash," writes the great Jonah Keri, in what has to be the most improbable and life-affirming story you'll read all day. [JonahKeri.com]...
Michigan Is About To Feel The Burn
The Detroit Free Press took a good, hard look at the Wolverines' off-season training regimen and found that Rich Rodriguez seems to have drawn heavily on the fitness precepts laid out in the Bataan Death March....
World Continues To Pay Homage To Television Character With Customized Replica Jerseys
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Tom Brady's Throwing Shoulder Will Be Fine, Says Source Within Lying-Ass Organization
This was the shoulder on which Albert Haynesworth was briefly docked Friday. "There is no need for hysteria," says a source close to the tactically dishonest Patriots, who will now list Brady as "probable (shoulder)" for all eternity. [Boston Globe]...
What The Buckeyes Learned In Canada
There must be a reasonable explanation for this photo, besides the obvious scenario of a Michigan SID spying on Thad Matta's squad and hacking into Ohio State's official athletics Web site. On second thought......
First, The Met Open Championship. Next, The World!
Andrew Giuliani just won his first professional golf tournament. Yippy! Let's take the Post's advice: "Do you know someone who has made New York a better place? Nominate your hero for the 8th Annual New York Post Liberty Medals." [NYP]...
The Summer Of Our Discontent
Pretty soon, this will all be over. No more loping around idly on Saturdays and Sundays. No more wandering outside and soaking in the sun. No more posts about the Tomatina. It's almost football season!...
Watch Out For Your Tires
Who said nothing was going on this weekend? There is live golf right now, and it's on television! They might even show the parking lot, where Y.E. Woods and Tiger Yang have adjacent spots. Awkward. [Star-Ledger]...