on Page 5988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Greatest H-O-R-S-E Shot You'll See All Year
That's K-State guard Denis Clemente doing a credible impression of the Bird/Jordan "Nothing But Net" McDonald's commercials....

Pig Rodeo Rides Home The Bacon
Do you like mutton bustin', but wish it had less adorableness and more frightened squealing? Then maybe the Japanese pig rodeo is more your speed....

Crappy White Sox Tickets No One Wanted Are Now Expensive Keepsakes
Maybe you didn't see Mark Buehrle twirl a perfect game live, but now, thanks to the glories of American commerce and the indifference of Sox fans, you can buy an unsold ticket from that day and pretend you did. [Ticketmaster]...

Man Asserts Dominion Over Nature, Hits Horse With Rally Car
Here's a photo of an Argentine rally driver running into a herd of wild horses somewhere in the Patagonian hills. One of them had to be put down. This is basically a metaphor for the industrial revolution....

Rangers Welcome Ivan Rodriguez Back Into Their Pudgy Arms
Houston puts the Rangers' old catcher on a bus to Arlington, receive two prospects in return, and Texas fans get a daily reminder that old age will someday leave them a broken shell of their former selves. [Dallas Morning News]...

The Ballad Of Jericho Scott
Jericho Scott was the 9-year-old who briefly became a media sensation when he was deemed "too good" to pitch in his youth league. A year later, Craig Fehrman checks in on Jericho and finds that everyone got the story wrong....

Words That Cris Carter Shouldn't Use During Live Television
me·shug·ge·neh (m-shg-n) or me·shug·ge·ner (-nr) adj. Crazy; senseless.n. One who is crazy. [ESPN/YouTube]...

Antrel Rolle Blames Fumble On His Silky Smooth Arms
The hellish, back-breaking death march of professional football has claimed many victims, but perhaps none more tragically than Cardinals safety Antrel Rolle, who dropped a crucial preseason punt because his arms were over-moisturized. The horror.......

Apologies For The Delays But There Is A Troublesome Dong Infecting Gawker Media
I've been told it has something to do with Dr. McSteamy's wang(NSFW) clogging up Gawker's publishing system. I'm just quoting from an inter-office memo circulating around. As you were....

Welcome To The Suck
So we have Viking fans storming Winter Park. We have ESPN following Brett Favre's black SUV via helicopter....

Packer Fans Are A Bubbling Volcano Of Rage
Early reaction from Green Bay: "It just bugs me that he changes his mind." "It's up to him, I guess." "It would make for a fun season." Whoa, whoa. Come back from the ledge, guys! It's only football! [Press-Gazette, Pic]...

Even The Wives Of Nationals Players Are Miserable This Year
On Sunday, the NY Post did a shlocky rundown of the Yankee queen bees. WaPo did a similar piece on the DC baseball wives, who are far less glamorous and happy. [WaPo]...

The Chosen One Isn't Perfect After All
Baseball messiah Bryce Harper was the big draw at Sunday's Aflac All-America Game in San Diego, where he performed the miracle of turning five at-bats into five outs....

Nationals Sign Strasburg At The Buzzer; Anti-Boras Demagoguing To Begin Shortly
The Nationals locked up the best pitching prospect ever with 77 seconds to spare, and Scott Boras once again nudged the whole draft right up to the point of going tilt....

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

Why Your Team Sucks: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins and Chris Cooley's wife. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Tom Cable Denies Breaking His Assistant's Jaw, Players Rejoice Anyway
Tom Cable says no punches were thrown, but given the reaction to the non-incident by some Raiders, that seems a little suspicious. [ESPN/PFT]...

Erin Andrews And Her Dirty GQ Pictures
Yeah, like, literally dirty. Sickos. The magazine is finally out with those pictures (and brief interview) of Erin Andrews that were shot waaaaay back in April for GQ, before she became trapped in peephole hell....

USC's Trophy Department Drops The Ball
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....