on Page 6136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You Win, Terrorists: Wisconsin Cracks Down On Unsportsmanlike Cheering
So at Ashland High basketball games this season, you can't even use the old "Fundamentals!" cheer when that opposing player gets called for traveling. Because that would be unsportsmanlike and wrong....

Tyson Chandler Would Like You To Follow Him
Help him out if you can. He's trying to out-Twit Shaq. Long way to go on that.[Tyson Chandler]...

Even Alaska Wants Nothing To Do With T.O.
Terrell Owens' options grow more limited by the hour, as more teams go on record saying they don't want the controversial wide receiver. His agent, however, says all is good....

Well To Be Fair, It Was A Bad Call
Parent sets some kind of record after being ejected for swearing at the refs after only 30 seconds ... from a fifth grade girls basketball game. [Des Moines Register]...

Scott Olsen: The Nationals' Front-Line Smoker
Interesting story from Wednesday's Washington Post about hot-headed pitcher Scott Olsen, who the Nats acquired from the Marlins over the winter. It turns out Olsen's a pretty committed smoker. 12 cigarettes a day, actually....

T.O. Headed To Tennessee Titans?
According to KSK, T.O. and Drew Rosenhaus were spotted at Nashville airport at 7 a.m. this morning. Owens would do wonders for Vince Young's self-esteem issues.[KSK]...

When Lebron Throws A Party, Ladies Expose Their Upper Thighs
• "The Reject Bench": That's where these poor ladies were sitting during "A Night With Lebron James," according to one partygoer. [Black Sports Online]...

The New York Rangers Welcome Back Sean Avery After Lobotomy
"It felt good to be playing for this team again and getting the win. That's what I came here to do." [AP]...

Frank Beamer Thinks Somebody's Taking A Photo Of Him
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Please, Don't Make Any Brian Boozeworth Jokes
The former NFL linebacker and star of the Oscar-nominated film "Stone Cold" was nabbed in Hollywood for drunk Harley-ing. [The Hub]...

No Rest For The Cysted
Poor A-Rod. He's just looking for some quiet time in Vail while getting his hip drained, or labrum re-attached, or toenail scraped, or whatever ailment he has, and then a nosy local snapped this photo....

The House That Pai Gow Poker Built?
How do you finance a new football stadium in these times of economic uncertainty? Casinos, of course. Minnesotans may not be able to pay their mortgages, but they've got gambling money!...

Dust Off Your Old Varsity Jacket And Put On Your Listening Helmets
Yes, it's the monthly Varsity Letters reading series again. This month's theme: Plato's Ethics and Epistemology.Nooooo. It's actually a fun line up of readers with college hoops cred. Go watch. [Gelf Magazine]...

Glen Davis Is Soaking In It
• Green polish matches his eyes: Big Baby likes to keep his nails soft and silky. Hey, it's either that or he scratches the eyes out of every center in the league. [MassHysteria]...

Nobody Knows Anything About A-Rod's Surgery
Here's a tip for everyone out there—when you need advice or information on any topic, don't listen to anyone related Alex Rodriguez....

Jim Edmonds Would Like To Invite You To His Stripper Battle Royal
Here's something fun for Midwesterners looking for a bazoonga-infested activity on a lonely Friday night in St. Louis: It's a "Queen Of The Pole" party, with your very special guest, former Cardinal Jim Edmonds....

What Wedding Is Complete Without Soccer Players And Owls?
So what's with the rash of Harry Potter-themed weddings among European soccer players? And where's my invitation, you stupid owl? [Deuce of Davenport]...

Do Sports Keep High Schools From Actually Being Schools?
A lawmaker in North Carolina wants a bill that would force public schools to shut down their athletic programs if the rest of the school is filled with clumsy idiots....

He Can Have Fun Without A Jack Daniels Bottle
One lucky Des Moines middle school student had her wish granted — for Bears' ragamuffin quarterback Kyle Orton to come have morning breakfast with her. [Des Moines Register]...

Young Steve Downie's Crazy Head
So here's a story that will interest only a handful of hockey geeks out there, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. It's about consummate shit-stirrer Steve Downie....