on Page 6445 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight: Now That You're Gone (to Watch Television)
What to watch while questioning the relevance of the 1980s yet again... • College Football: Ohio State at USC (8 pm ET) [ABC] - We received a link today asking why the Buckeyes were hated so much because the line shows them to be rather large underdogs, suggesting various conspiracy theories. Here's...
Mom Allegedly Steals Daughter's Identity, Becomes 15-Year-Old Cheerleader
First, a note: GARRETT GUZMAN, YOU STAY RIGHT OUT OF THIS POST, MISTER. With that out of the way, let's discuss Miss Wendy Brown of Green Bay, WI. Her 15-year-old daughter lives with Wendy's own mother in Nevada for reasons that will readily become apparent. In an attempt to reclaim her own lost you...
Nationals Minor-Leaguer Allegedly Corrupts Youth in the Back of His Car
This charming young fellow is 25-year-old Garrett Guzman. He enjoys long fly balls out of the park, walking to first base, piña coladas, and a per diem over $25. (Or so we assume. He is, after all, a minor-leaguer in the Washington Nationals system, playing in Harrisburg, PA.) We have also received ...
Hugh Johnson III: It's a Penis Joke, See
In order for Penn State fans to really view their dominance today of Syracuse as a moral victory, the "Nittaly Lions'" point differential must be greater than the number of years JoePa has been head ball coach in Happy Valley. In legit football action, South Carolina is giving Georgia a real fight. ...
Afternoon Blogdome: Jimmy Played Pretty Good
• Jimmy Clausen likes Jimmy: "Jimmy likes the buzz of the big game. Michigan or no Michigan, Jimmy likes the roar of the home crowd. Jimmy wishes the game was starting right now." [Sports Hernia] • Even Maryland Fans Were Shocked They Won Today: "Da'Rel Scott looks like a star. He's a strong runner ...
Murderball's Back, Baby! (Watch Your Toes)
One U.S. team in Beijing came into these Games with all the pressure in the world on them to succeed after an embarrassing bronze medal in a sport the United States normally dominates. Yes, they laid the wood to the Chinese team in their first match, but they have a long way to go towards the mythic...
Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...
Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....
Why Are There So Many Posts About Hugh?
Maryland is running all over the 23rd ranked Cal Bears. So far we've learned that Jim Henson is a former Terp and that Cal isn't very good. Be sure to send your brilliant observations to "The Hugh Johnson" via AIM. So a cal wide receiver just got knocked out basically and threw up his green Gatorade...
Mad Physicist Analyzes Effects of Usain Bolt's Olympic Showboating, Carl Lewis Thinks It's Juicy
Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He made the competition look silly during the 100-meter finals in Beijing and cruised so easily to victory that he was celebrating before the race was even over. Wondering how sick the speedy Jamaican's time could have been had he given it 100 percent thr...
Who Are Hugh?
I'm relatively new to the Hugh. I'm meeting Mr. Johnson for the first time today and hoping he'll be gentle. Clearly, Cal has not recovered from the loss of DeSean "Obama" Jackson and finds themselves trailing Maryland early. In the annual battle of teams that traditionally suck the most, Temple and...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Despite Concerns of 'Suicide' Talk, Vince Young Says He's 'Not Depressed'
The Vince Young saga rolls on as we head into week two of the NFL season. It went from Vince Young apparently refusing to go out on the field in the final moments of a game last weekend, to police frantically searching for him Monday night, to talk of Vince having uttered the word "suicide" while ha...
Morning Blogdome: The Best Slapfights Since Baseball Was Invented in England
• Kickboxing that has neither: Leotard makers do not approve of this off-label use of their product. [Epic Carnival] • And he didn't sign his scorecard, either: Charred remains left on a golf course. You may play through. [SPORTSbyBROOKS] • But the cake falls off the table near the end of the part...
Youth Basketball League Founder Murdered During Trophy Ceremony
In 2004, Miles Mack started a youth basketball league in part to "provide an alternate outlet to a sometimes dangerous environment." A noble effort, for sure. On Thursday night at a Philadelphia playground during a trophy presentation following a championship game, Mack was murdered. According to po...
MLB Closer: Okay, Lord... Me and You, Right?
Six games didn't get off the ground without the assistance of rising tides today, thanks to enough moisture across these United States to make you think Tammy Faye Bakker herself had been disinterred by her own post-mortem weeping. Division races from the AL Central to the NL Central (oh, and the ...
We Find Ourselves Rather Disliking Ike
Galveston, Houston and much of the Gulf Coast stay in lockdown mode this morning, waiting still to assess the human and structural damage as Hurricane Ike, freak storm that it appears to be, drags a huge storm surge over the Texas coast. However, we do have a preliminary assessment of the effect on...
Braylon Edwards Finds The Golden Ticket
Hey, I couldn't let you head out toward your weekend without this small bit of advice: Drive safely. Because even if the cop lets you off with a warning, you may end up with the ticket anyway. Just ask the Browns' Braylon Edwards. Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph i...
Week In Review: Everybody Wants A Piece Of DeSean Jackson
Friday. Hooray. Here's a few of the stories that made this week in Deadspin more special than the week before. Follow along: • Leitch: Buzzsaw • Drew: Jamboroo'd • Marbury: Godly • Brady: Done • Mariotti: Tribune? • Vince Young: Crazy • Linda: Cohn'd Have a great weekend. Please welcome "Irish" Enri...
Shea Stadium Is Going Out Of Business; Everything Must Go!
Not since Cosmo Kramer fished the entire Merv Griffin talk show set out of a dumpster has there been a bigger opportunity than this: The Shea Stadium Memorabilia Auction. I know you've always wanted your very own Mets dugout, and now is your chance: Starting bid $100,000. How about Moises Alou's loc...