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This Moment Of Phillies Ineptitude Brought To You By The Bullpen Phone
How bad were the Phillies against Baltimore tonight? So bad they had to bring in Jeff Francoeur to pitch. Except that Francoeur couldn’t get anybody out, so pitching coach Bob McClure tried to call down to the bullpen to get a real pitcher up. One problem: the bullpen phone was off the hook after Ph...

Kimmo Timonen Goes Out With His First Stanley Cup
Kimmo Timonen was along for the ride. The 40-year-old didn’t receive a lot of ice time due to the Blackhawks’ overwhelming reliance on four defensemen, though it’s not like Timonen was doing anything productive in his scant minutes. But it’s fun to finish on top, and as Chicago closed out Game 6 for...

All The Deaths On Last Night's <i>Game Of Thrones</i> Finale, In Slow Motion
While HBO’s Game of Thrones may be leaving viewers wishing for death, several characters on last night’s season finale actually received such glorious release from the corporeal realm. Probably. So here’s everybody who died, we think, last night; since we love ruining things, we present all the Game...

The Fan Theory That Makes <i>Game Of Thrones </i>Make Sense
Game of Thrones is a confounding show to watch. It’s confounding because it is based on an interminable series of novels in which people are regularly burned alive or skinned or drowned in service to one god or the next, often for reasons like “calling in a warm front to melt some snow,” but also be...

<i>Game Of Thrones </i>Needs To Put Us Out Of Its Misery
Let’s begin by revisiting the best Game of Thrones scene to date. Notes:...

Ben Bishop Boner Gives Blackhawks 1-0 Lead
That’s suboptimal goaltending....

This Crazy-Ass New Beer Proves That India Pale Ale Will Never Die
Are you one of the weirdoes, poseurs, or stout-humpers who claims to be tired of India pale ale? If so, congratulations on being cool and condolences on being screwed, because IPAs are never going away. According to data released yesterday by Brewbound, America’s most popular craft-beer category sti...

Shaq: I'm Not Actually A 9/11 Truther
Shaquille O’Neal is disowning content posted on his personal blog and verified Facebook pages yesterday, claiming the company he contracted to pretend to be him online went rogue and that he is not and has never been a “9/11 truther.”...

Shaquille O'Neal Is A 9/11 Truther, According To His Own Website
TNT host Shaquille O’Neal regularly delights audiences with his “Shaqtin’ A Fool” segment, but the Inside the NBA personality is probably due for a taste of his own medicine after revealing to the world this evening that he is a 9/11 truther....

Court Denies Appeal; Lionel Messi To Face Trial For Tax Fraud Charges
The Barcelona Provincial High Court announced today that Barcelona star Lionel Messi’s appeal has been denied and that he and his father, Jorge Horacio Messi, will face trial for tax fraud, which the court claims occurred from 2007-09. ...

Luis Suárez Puts Away Rebound For 2-1 Barcelona Lead
Just thirteen minutes after Álvaro Morata drew things level, Luis Suárez put away a Lionel Messi rebound to restore Barcelona’s 2-1 advantage. Juventus now has 10 minutes plus stoppage time to get a goal, or the Champions League trophy will go to the Nou Camp....

Here Is Footage From The Aftermath Of Jon Jones's Alleged Hit-And-Run
The MMA Digest has obtained audio from a 911 call, as well as police body cam footage, of the hit-and-run UFC fighter Jon Jones allegedly committed in Albuquerque (N.M.) in April. He was arrested the next day....

Lionel Messi's Copa Del Rey Wondergoal, As Called Around The World
The undisputed highlight of the weekend is Lionel Messi’s brilliant goal to open the scoring against Athletic Bibao in Saturday’s Copa del Rey final. We brought you the play as called by ESPN Deportes; here’s a YouTube user who has collected 16 different worldwide commentaries to the play, perhaps t...

Messi Opens Copa Del Rey Final Scoring With Marvelous Goal
Messi is unstoppable. There’s really no other words for this feat that put Barça up 1-0 on Athletic Bilbao in today’s Copa Del Rey final. ...

Cameron Crowe's <i>Aloha</i> Is Every Bit The Disaster You Suspected
As a rule, I ignore negative buzz about upcoming movies. For one thing, you never know the agenda behind those leaking damaging information about reshoots or bad test-screening scores. For another, the film industry is littered with classic movies that were initially thought to be duds. (How many or...

Jerry Jones: Still Skeevily Groping Women?
It’s been awhile since we’ve had a chance to enjoy(?) some pictures of gross-ass Jerry Jones fondling women while desperately trying to work up a boner, but we can (apparently) do it again today thanks to some new pictures published by Terez Owens....

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Daniel Cormier Has A Brief, Intense Message For Jon Jones
What’s next for Daniel Cormier after defeating Anthony ‘Rumble’ Johnson for the UFC light heavyweight title? He has a message for Jon Jones:...

<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...
