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David Cone Made An Unfortunate Reference To Ichiro's "Chopstick"
More than anything, I wager that David Cone's choice of words has more to do with the insatiable pressure that some announcers put on themselves to fill dead air or to feel as if they're adding their perspective to the telecast (especially if they happen to be a former player). Nonetheless, the fi...

The Jerry Dome Is Infested With Gigantic Roaches
Sure, Cowboys Stadium may be a billion-dollar shrine to fossil fuels football, but even with the new Victoria's Secret store it seems they have a bit of a problem with pest control. EWWW. ...

Rory McIlroy Needed A Police Escort To Make His Tee Time At The Ryder Cup Today Because Of The East Coast Bias
Rory McIlroy had an 11:25 a.m. local time (important) tee time this morning. Rory was a little bit late getting to the Ryder Cup because he has no idea what time it is. According to NBC/Golf Channel, Rory was telling time by the television and since they kept giving his tee time as 12:25 p.m. becau...

The NBA Is Finally Doing Something About Flopping
It's been a big story over the past few seasons: NBA players—in increasingly large numbers, rather than in isolated instances of Divacs and Lambieers and Reggie Millers—had outsmarted the league and taken advantage of the difficulty on officiating NBA games by just falling on the floor all the tim...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: Not OK
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...

Maurice Jones-Drew Still Sounds Pretty Ticked Off At Jags Management
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The issues that prompted his holdout? They're still issues....

Are Commissioners Pointless?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Chipper Jones Tries To Disguise How Fat He Is By Dressing As A Rookie Being Hazed
That's the conclusion we're drawing from this photo, which was tweeted yesterday by Braves pitcher Pete Moylan. Either that, or Chipper just dresses like that for every Braves road trip. Has to be one or the other....

Rob Gronkowski's Ex-Porn Star Friend Posts Another Photo Of The Happy Pair (And Explains Why He Dropped So Many Passes On Sunday)
Until tonight, we hadn't really heard much from Britney Maclin, neé Bibi Jones, since she emotionally announced her retirement from pornography back in July. Of course, aside from her scantily clad on-screen exploits, she's also best known as an Official Friend of Gronk....

Here's A South Carolina Trainer Eyefucking Bruce Ellington
Ooh, 20 yards per catch? You know what that does to me, even if it is against a Conference USA team. God, that crop top/shoulder wrap combo should be illegal. What's that? The quarterback broke his arm? Tell him to take an Aleve, I'm busy here. Mmm, so busy. You must be tired, Bruce. You've been r...

The Time ESPN's Lynn Hoppes Debunked MediaTakeOut's Report That Lolo Jones Was Dating Ndamukong Suh
On Thursday, an exclusive came roaring across the front page of the internet: MediaTakeOut.com, long beloved and respected for its crack reporting and evocative headlining, had the exclusive. The full text of their Lolo Jones/Ndamukong Suh love story:...

Bill Simmons Said Something About "Biggest Boners" On <em>PTI</em> Today, So Here's Four Minutes Of Him Saying It
It's Friday, and we can't think of any better way to spark the weekend than pouring a stiff drink, relaxing into a thick, comfortable chair, and engorging your ears by playing this recording of Bill Simmons repeatedly saying the word "boners." It's the perfect way to relax after a long, hard week....

Why Did Lance Armstrong Tweet Out The Cell Phone Number Of Some Random Canadian Dude?
We've all seen it by now: Lance Armstrong's odd tweet, containing what looks to be his cell phone number. We figured it was the same old, same old—a direct message, mistakenly broadcast to the world. Annoying, in that he'd probably need to change his number, but funny for the rest of us....

Bake-Off At <em>Sports Illustrated</em>! Jon Wertheim, Chris Stone Battle To Take Over Weekly Magazine
Who's in charge at Sports Illustrated? Earlier this summer, longtime editor Terry McDonell told his staff that he was dialing back on some of his responsibilities. Last month, he got a new office on (SI's parent company) Time Inc.'s corporate floor, fueling even more talk that he was on his way out....

Know A Black Guy, And Other Tips For Being A One Percenter From Richard Gere's Stupid New Movie, <em>Arbitrage</em>
I try to avoid pre-release publicity, even trailers, as much as possible, but inevitably one gets blasted with the Internet news firehose no matter how much one tries to avoid it. So I knew that Arbitrage, which opens Friday, was supposed to be a thriller about a hyper-wealthy hedge fund manager and...

David Cone Made A Funny As John Sterling Cowered In Fear From A Foul Ball
David Cone, sitting just one booth over from John Sterling, showed off his sense of humor when a foul ball came screaming toward their respective position during tonight's Yankees-Red Sox game. We've seen the Sterling Shake before, so we know John has a certain agility when it comes to maneuvering w...

The NFL's First Female Official Broke Up A Fake Fight
After the final whistle blew on a killer loss for the Rams, one they could have, maybe should have had to start the season an unlikely 1-0, tempers boiled over a bit. Rams guard Harvey Dahl shoved Ndamukong Suh to the ground, everyone started pushing, and shoving, and "hold me back, bro"-ing. It was...

The Honey Badger Is In The Stands At LSU-Washington
That's Tyrann Mathieu sitting in the stands as Washington meets Mathieu's former team, LSU, in Death Valley. He looks relaxed, as does LSU, up very big in the third....

Weekend Read: D Magazine on Young Tony Romo
Tony Romo, who is 32 and in his prime as an NFL quarterback, comes from an altogether different era. That's all I can draw from the current issue of D Magazine, in which Peter Simek drills down into a single high-school game to explain Romo's ascent from small-town jock-of-all-trades to a guy with t...

The Mets Gave Chipper Jones This Wack-Ass Painting To Commemorate His Last Series In New York
LeRoy Neiman is dead, but goofily colorful sports paintings didn't die with him. See, look at this one here. It's a gift from the New York Mets to Larry Wayne Jones, Jr. of Atlanta, on the occasion of his impending retirement....