one Page 305 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Melanie Hain's Turn To Bring The Team Snacks When She Says It Is
"I know what you're thinking; "Did she give me six orange wedges, or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. So you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?" A Lebanon, Pa. woman had her concealed-weapons permit revo...
As A Writer, ESPN's Rob Neyer Thinks Todd Jones Is No Doug Glanville
Recently retired reliever Todd Jones is getting a nice send-off by most players, fans and beat writers for his many years of baseball service and overall good-guyness. And despite his many shaky late-inning outings, Jones will retire as the Tigers all-time saves leader. Jones also made a name for hi...
Chipper Is Cold-Blooded, Giggly
Forgive my Judaism, but I've never been known to partake in the sport of trophy hunting, especially when the trophy is so deliciously nonkosher. However after seeing this video of Chipper Jones I have to say it looks like a good ole' time. What's not to like about a sport that combines the fun of ...
Jerry Jones to 'Quick Draw' Hochuli: Stop Blowing
While the national media may be falling all over themselves to heap praise upon Ed Hochuli for his willingness to shoulder the blame for a call that was obviously his fault, Jerry Jones is not ready to let go of the matter. The Cowboys owner has taken his own personal Texas barbecue of the besieged ...
Mark Cuban Wants You to Know: "Cellphone Cameras Are Not Your Friends."
Cuban went after defenseless cellphone cameras in the wake of Josh Howard's performance during the National Anthem before Allen Iverson's flag-football game. By the way, how is Allen Iverson's flag-football game not televised and how are all the players not mic'ed up? Couldn't this be a television ...
Jerry Jones Would Like To Take This Opportunity To Let Everyone Know That Ed Hochuli Has Sucked For A While
It's been a rough week for referee Ed Hochuli as The Worst Officiating Call In The History Of The NFL continues to get picked apart by football pundits, fans, and coaches. As pointed out yesterday, Hochuli has been busy apologizing to everyone for his botched whistle-blow in the Chargers/Broncos gam...
No Child Left Behind On The Stationary Bike
The great thing about growing old in the 21st century; no worries about ordering children to get off your lawn. That's because no self-respecting kid these days would be caught dead playing outside; it's too cold/humid, there's smog, Michael Jackson is roaming free, and as we know, the outdoors are ...
Ryder Cup Has A Funny Definition Of The Word 'Volunteer'
So Ryder Cup officials were sitting around one day wondering, "Hey, how can we get people to work for us at our tournament, and have them pay us to do it?" Amazingly, they figured out a way. Cash-strapped golf fanatics who want to circumvent normal ticket prices — which can run around $1,000 — can p...
Nuggets Fan Celebrates Hole-in-One with J.R. Smith In His Foursome
Yep, just your run of the mill, guy goes golfing with a 22 year old NBA player who went to the league straight from high school and hits a hole-in-one story. Our epic tale begins when our narrator, Mike Wolf, and his neighbor head out to the public course and find out that J.R. Smith has been assig...
Braylon Edwards Finds The Golden Ticket
Hey, I couldn't let you head out toward your weekend without this small bit of advice: Drive safely. Because even if the cop lets you off with a warning, you may end up with the ticket anyway. Just ask the Browns' Braylon Edwards. Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph i...
Red Bull and Vodka Fueled High Jumper To Be Suspended for a Year?
Last week, we brought you the story of Ivan Ukhov, the high jumper whose drunken jump has exploded on the internets. More than a million people have watched the you tube video which we've handily relinked for you below. Now comes news that mother Russia is not pleased with him. In fact, they're ang...
The Average NFL Team Now Worth Over $1 Billion
Just as a refresher, the Pittsburgh Steelers franchise fee was $2,500 back in 1933. Art Rooney had the money to pay the franchise fee thanks to winnings at Saratoga Racetrack. Yeah, pretty good investment. As always it makes you want to kick your grandfather. The NFL becomes the first sports league...
Adam Jones Books His Reservation For Bulletin Boards In St. Louis And Philadelphia In One Shot
When the Philadelphia Eagles take on the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night, it's a game that is always entertaining because of how much Philadelphians despise the Cowboys. It's unhealthy, but it's one of those things that Philadelphians are saddled with the second they're spat out of their mother's wom...
Shawne Merriman Decides Playing With A Mangled Knee Might Not Be The Best Idea For A Long Career
“It felt good,” linebacker Shawne Merriman said of his left knee. “But with that adrenaline going, you never really know. Over the next couple of days, I'll assess how I feel. As of right now, I'm getting ready for Game 2.” That's what Shawne Merriman said Sunday, after the Chargers lost to the Caro...
Braylon Edwards vs. Michael Phelps: Who You Got?
Braylon Edwards and Michael Phelps are top athletes in their sport. But which is better? It's like comparing apples and oranges. Now Edwards and Phelps are combining their apples and oranges into a bet to see who is better. ...
UCF Conference Call Takes a Detour Through Phone Sex Line
Fresh off a 17-0 victory over South Carolina State, the University of Central Florida set up a conference call with Notre Dame coach for a day, George O'Leary. Which would have been great. Except the released number was one-digit off and was actually a phone sex line. Uh oh. Cue the intrepid report...
NASCAR's Tony Stewart Makes Sure The Girls Are 18
There won't be a better profile of an athlete written this year. Of course that's assuming you think racecar drivers are athletes. But even if you don't, you need to read this Rolling Stone story on NASCAR's Tony Stewart. Just a few of the details: Stewart used to travel with a pet monkey on his pr...
Sooners Rumble Like It's 1958
Anyone who monitors police scanners — I'm talking to you, Iracane — knows those five little words that will cause you to grab your coat and run out to your car: "Knives, guns and tire irons." They are the Iron Chef ingredients of a delicious bar fight, as was witnessed in Norman, Okla., on Saturday ...
Utes and Young Manhood
Nice storyline from today's Michigan/Utah game: Paul Kruger, victim of a vicious stabbing earlier this year, is playing for the Utes. Utah's starting defensive end, along with his younger brother Dave and teammate Greg Newman, were attacked back in January by a group of unknown tough guys outside a ...
Pacman Jones Just Got Reinstated; Receives News at Hooters
Dallas area strippers are rejoicing. It's probably just a coincidence that thunderstorms are in the Dallas forecast. Because, after over a year of suspension, Pacman is back. Jones confirmed the reinstatement with the Dallas Morning News this afternoon. Where was he when he received the news? Hoote...