one Page 306 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Through The Looking Glass With Nine-Year-Old Jericho Scott
The parents of Jericho Scott, the nine-year-old New Haven, Conn. pitcher who was banned from pitching because he is too good, are officially suing the youth league that is disbanding his team. In response, the league held a press conference to tell their side of the story, and a huge mob of reporter...
Clemson Defensive Coordinator Suggests Top Alabama Football Recruits Drive Escalades
And by "suggests", I mean "said." At least the top recruits do. What could bring on this rumination? Perhaps the upcoming neutral site game between Clemson and Alabama. As part of his job for the big game Clemson's defensive guru, Vic Koenning, is charged with stopping Alabama's newest starting rec...
Common Sense Strikes Out: The Curious Case Of Jericho Scott
Nine-year-old Jericho Scott has been banned from pitching in a New Haven, Conn., youth baseball league because he throws so hard that he frightens the other players, according to league officials. But he took to the mound on Saturday anyway, so the other team simply dropped their bats and left the f...
Conclusion Of Olympic Games Includes More Baffling Insanity
It all began when five terrifying mascots were introduced to the world in November of 2005, and now, with the extinguishing of the Olympic torch, the games of the 29th Olympiad have concluded. Whew. OK China, you've got some sweeping up to do, so we'll leave you to it. But before we depart, may we j...
Barry Bonds Cannot Stop Destroying Sports All Over the World
Out here in the West, the third and final part of the Bob Costas-Jacques Rogge tête-à-tête has just wrapped up on NBC. In this section (loosely labeled "Etcetera"), Costas asked Rogge what killed softball and baseball for the 2012 Games. Rogge eventually mentioned the domination of both sports by a ...
We're Not Here to Violate Probation; We're Just Here to Do the Super Bowl Shuffle
#27, second from the left, is Michael Richardson. Richardson played a key role in the 1985-86 Chicago Bears' domination of the league. Now he's going back to jail for violating probation on his 21st drug conviction, bringing a new tint to the term "shutdown corner". How on Earth did L.A. Mike's pr...
Tell Me How My Sass Tastes: Woman Gets Restraining Order Against Shaq For "Stalking"
Just as things started looking up for Shaquille O'Neal (a rejuvenation of his NBA career in Phoenix, a rejuvenation of his rap career, making up with his estranged wife) he might be in store for some troubling times due to the allegations of one Atlanta-based lady who claims The Diesel is "stalking ...
Now You Can Bet on Which NFL Team Will Have the Next Arrest
Somewhere Roger Goodell is crying. Or making a boatload of cash thanks to inside information. Right now the Cincinnati Bengals lead the clubhouse at 5/1. Many teams are set at 25/1. Not content with betting on teams? In addition to team arrests, you can take the over/under on number of individual a...
Shaunie Loves Shaqie
A couple months ago, Shaq was in New York jokingly (but bitterly) freestyle rapping about Kobe Bryant, asking his former teammate to comment on the savoriness of his gluteus maximus. The source of Shaq's ire was apparently revealed in the freestylin' line: "I'm a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that's wh...
Andrea Joyce Got Off Easy
The video below made the rounds a couple of months ago, but considering recent events, it really needs to be revisited. It purportedly shows slippery-footed American gymnast Alicia Sacramone punching some dude and knocking him out (following the jump). As you can see, Ms. Sacramone has a pretty dyna...
Andrea Joyce Makes Tiny Gymnast Cry; Enjoys It
Problem: We want captured terrorist suspects to talk, but conventional torture methods are morally troublesome and politically dangerous. Solution: Andrea Joyce! Judging from the way that the NBC correspondent interrogated emotionally brittle gymnast Alicia Sacramone on Wednesday, I'd guess that Al ...
USA/China Olympic Basketball Update
Over 1 billion people are expected to be tuning in to the USA/China matchup in progress in Beijing. In attendance are both Bush generations, the Chinese Prime Minister, and Henry Kissinger who appears to be sleeping in the stands. China has a big three that towers over the US team (Yao Ming stands a...
Todd Jones Might Be Menopausal
The Detroit Tigers, in a desperate attempt to stay competitive in the American League Central, decided that struggling closer Todd Jones needed to be replaced. Jones has surrendered 10 runs in his last 10 1/3 innings and was finally getting hit around the way you'd expect the 40-year-old finesse pit...
Adam "Pacman" Jones Gets His First Dallas Endorsement Deal
I think I speak for everyone when I say, "This is Adam Jones; formerly Pacman. I've learned how tough it is to get a second chance," is the most persuasive opening to a commercial in the history of television. Particularly with the 1970's r&b background music. How much money did this company have...
Favre Might Ruin The Rest Of His Legacy As A New York Jet
Surprise. The latest rumor percolating in the the Brett Favre douchepot has the New York Jets front-runners to land the malcontent quarterback's services. According to Chris Mortensen, the Jets have asked for permission to talk to Favre once Favre's reinstatement is complete. The Bucs, the front-run...
Why MLB.com's New iPhone Application Is A Waste Of Cash
So, bringing my transformation into a New York media douchebag full circle, I bought an iPhone the other day. I'm kind of obsessed with it; I sometimes find myself clicking on the little GPS feature, just to remind myself where I am. "Look! The iPhone knows I'm at Trout! It went all the way to oute...
Joakim Soria's Nickname Is Blogger Tested, Mexican Approved
It's about time the Kansas City Royals got themselves a bona fide All-Star, after branding Ken Harvey and Mark Redman as such. Joakim Soria is the Royals' scintillating closer, saving 25 of 27 games and sporting a 0.72 WHIP. With stats like that, a guy needs a legendary nickname, and he's got it now...
Don't Worry Golfers; Kevin Has Your Back
So if Kevin Malone were organizing a dream golf foursome, what three Office characters would he choose? That's a tough one (answer following the jump). One thing you should know, though: Brian Baumgartner has very little in common with Kevin Malone. Except that both are funny....
The All-Seeing Eye Thinks Your Hair Looks Fine
The curtailing of the About Last Night... feature eliminates some of my opportunity for monkeyshines (that is, gratuitous monkey references shoehorned into otherwise putatively sports-related posts). But this Sauron-esque picture from last night's Marlins-Dodgers games caught my, uh, notice. Best u...