ones Page 105 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fat Chipper Jones Is Apparently No Longer Fat
The debate continues: Fat Chipper earlier today tweeted the photo you see here (click to make it bigger), inviting us all to help him out. "What's wrong with this pic folks?" he asked. We've been looking at it all afternoon, and we're stumped. We can only surmise that he looks thinner because of his...
Andruw Jones Charged With Battery After Alleged Domestic Dispute
There aren't many specific details yet known, but the AP is reporting that former major leaguer Andruw Jones started his Christmas Day in jail after he was arrested on a battery charge early this morning in the Atlanta suburb of Duluth. Seems police were called to respond to a domestic dispute betwe...
"Buster Olney U So Full A Shit": The Year In Great, Terrible, And Deeply Weird Tweets From The World Of Sports
2012 offered many windows into the athlete soul, but none were larger or more revealing than the unfiltered weirdness that came from their screwy social media presences. Here are our favorites, from Cardale Jones delicately explaining that he wasn't recruited to Ohio State for his academic prowess, ...
Fat Chipper Jones Is Throwing A Horrible Super Bowl Party
You will recall that a grown man who called himself "Chipper" used to play third base for the Atlanta Braves. You will recall, too, that he is fat and dates a Playboy model. He also has a Twitter feed. And an upcoming Super Bowl party. What a Super Bowl party it is....
The Military Asked ESPN For Help With Its Drone Program
For all the contentiousness of the presidential debates, both parties could agree on one thing: Flaming death from the sky, now and forever. The use of unmanned drones to surveil and occasionally blow up brown people is so accepted as a matter of course, the Worldwide Leader in Sports didn't hesitat...
Cowboys Brass Had No Idea Josh Brent Would Be On The Sidelines
Josh Brent was drunk when he flipped his car, killing teammate and friend Jerry Brown. So it created a little mental dissonance to see him on the sidelines at Cowboys Stadium just a week later, cheering on Dallas during their win over Pittsburgh. Now it comes out that owner Jerry Jones and head coac...
Back In 1995, <em>The Simpsons</em> Visited <em>The NFL On Fox</em>, And Homer Took A Shot At Jerry Jones
This only came to my attention yesterday, and—as I'm a Simpsons fan and something of a sports enthusiast—I figured that if I hadn't seen it, most people likely hadn't. In 1995, the Simpsons did what has to be the best promo for the NFL on Fox—for any pre-game show—ever. It's not quite vintage, unt...
Andrea Bargnani Calls The Raptors "Pretty Much The Worst NBA Team," Which Is Pretty Much True
Andrea Bargnani did an interview with La Gazzetta dello Sport, an Italian newspaper dedicated to sports, in which he said some harsh words about the objectively awful team that employs him. Raptors coach Dwane Casey cautioned the press not to blow what might be a mistranslation out of proportion, ex...
![Here's An Unverified Story About Cam Newton Buying Superman Onesie Pajamas [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/187y5xalysd46jpg.jpg)
Here's An Unverified Story About Cam Newton Buying Superman Onesie Pajamas [UPDATED]
Sup, gang. We got this email from a reader a few minutes ago. We're passing it along because, well ... do we really need to explain?:...
Tommy Tuberville Is Going To Cincinnati Even Though There Will Hardly Be A Big East To Greet Him When He Gets There
Tommy Tuberville is going to fill Butch Jones's old ass groove at Cincinnati. Three years ago, coming off of a decade of success at SEC-powerhouse Auburn, going to a Big East team, even a strong Big East team, would have seemed crazy. Now, after three middling years at Big 12 Texas Tech, the most re...
"Dese Coaches Run A Train On Arkansas State": A Player Ponders Gus Malzahn's Departure
We're almost reluctant to out a certain Don Jones II as a master of Twitter, because we all know that s̶t̶u̶d̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ athletes who exhibit true voice on social media scare the thin liquid shits out of university athletics officials. But what the hell....
Fat Chipper Jones Has Divorced His Wife And Is Now Dating <em>Playboy</em> Model Taylor Higgins, AKA Lexi Ray
Leave it to those sleuths of scuzz over at Busted Coverage to make a find like this. Chipper Jones has retired, finalized his divorce from his second wife, and now appears to be dating Taylor Higgins, better known to the world as Lexi Ray or Lexi Ray Taylor, depending on when you might have been loo...
Jerry Jones Scratching His Nuts: Eagles-Cowboys, And Much Of Modern Culture, In One GIF
Dallas 38, Philadelphia 33: Peering down from the suite at the top of his shiny monument to excess, billionaire oil plutocrat Jerry Jones, insensitive to the fact that he might be on national television at that very moment, scratched his nuts, probably, or adjusted himself in some way. Awesome. Imp...
Alabama Barely Beats Georgia For SEC Title, Right To Demolish Irish In National Title Game
Your national title game will be SEC semifinal champion Alabama against Notre Dame, which in a just alternate universe just got piss-pounded by Ohio State in the Big Ten title game and ceded its title game slot to Florida. In this universe, though, Notre Dame spent the afternoon licking its chops as...
White House Petition Will Probably Not Lead To The Removal Of Jerry Jones
Here's an unbylined story on the Dallas Morning News's website, about one of those stupid petitions on Whitehouse.gov. This one calls for President Obama to remove Jerry Jones as owner of the Cowboys....
Where Were You When Virgil Discovered The Virgilbag?
The Virgilbag, our regular collection of readers' encounters with pro wrestlers, is on indefinite hiatus. (It might return if you send in your stories.) It is not a collection of Virgil stories, though each one does contain a tale of the former WWF and WCW jobber, plying his trade at conventions and...
Tyler Seguin Has A Foolproof Method For Dealing With The Ladies
The Bruins' Tyler Seguin is playing for Swiss team EHC Biel, and he's young, handsome, rich, and single. (Also, possibly a dick to women—we don't know the backstory.) When moving to a new place, it can be tough to keep track of all your new friends. So Seguin made sure to list one in his address boo...
Chipper Jones Has His Own Theories On JFK's Assassination
The recently retired Chipper Jones is an entertaining force on Twitter. Wednesday night, while watching Oliver Stone's JFK on Reelz (really, Chipper? Reelz?), Chipper decided to get the truth out about what really happened in the assassination of JFK. Wake the people up, Chipper!...
A.J. Green On The Fallacy Of The Trap Game: "We Lost To Freakin' Cleveland"
The Bengals and Browns are a bitter, bitter rivalry. For Ohioans, it's almost as bad as soap vs. human skin—you just have to pick a side. It makes sense, then, that A.J. Green would be upset about losing to the Browns, but it would make sense regardless of geography because the Browns are terrible....
Most Boring NFL Team Inspires Most Boring NFL Headline
"Jaguars sign another Greg Jones." This means that half the Greg Joneses to ever play in the NFL on are on the Jacksonville roster right now. They also kind of look like each other, right? Is that racist?...