ones Page 106 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jerry Jones Spoke To Reporters In Front Of A Big Naked Cowboy Ass
Jerry Jones likes to do his media scrum in the middle of the Cowboys' locker room—That's why he was so furious last week when he was locked out. But things went better yesterday, both on the field (a 38-23 win in Philadelphia) and with the press. Except for that little matter of an unidentified pl...

Edmonton QB Matt Nichols Suffered A Horrific Injury During Today's CFL Playoff Game Against Toronto
Toronto took care of Edmonton easily today to march one step closer to the Grey Cup in the CFL playoffs, but the season-ending insult to the Big E was minor compared to the injury felt by Eskimos quarterback Matt Nichols, who was forced out of the game in the third quarter after suffering a grotes...

No, It Was Definitely A Good Idea To Cancel The New York City Marathon
Last night, ESPN The Magazine's Chris Jones wrote a column arguing that this past weekend's New York City Marathon should not have been canceled, despite the fallout from Hurricane Sandy....

Perry Jones III Loves Pizza Rolls
Oklahoma City Thunder rookie Perry Jones III loves pizza rolls. Our source for this? Perry Jones III....

Did Ray Allen Change His Phone Number Or Just Dodge The Celtics' Calls?
Maybe you missed this because you were following any of the 300 more important NBA storylines, but the ballad of Ray Allen's cell phone has been one of the dumber and more fascinating subplots of the early NBA season. Let's recap....

Jerry Jones Was Locked Out Of The Cowboys' Locker Room
The Cowboys lost last night, but that's not good enough to sate the bloodlust of fans who want them to lose spectacularly, or painfully, because Dallas used to be good 15 years ago. Tony Romo didn't cooperate, failing to turn the ball over even once, let alone at a crucial moment late in the game. L...

Did Mike Trout Lose The Gold Glove Because His Corner Outfielders Were Too Good?
The Gold Gloves were handed out this week, and without Derek Jeter as a finalist, we were prepared for a controversy-free awards. We were wrong. Mike Trout, the statistical darling who’s totally going to lose the MVP to Miguel Cabrera, couldn’t even get named his league’s best center fielder, losing...

The Dallas Cowboys Sent Out A Mailer To Season-Ticket Holders Instructing Them On How To Cheer
Jerry Jones built the $1,300,000,000 Cowboys Stadium in 2009 expecting it to house champions, boost his team, and become the eighth wonder of the world. It is kind of the last one—largest domed stadium in the world, with the fourth largest HD video screen in the world hanging from the ceiling—but th...

Cincinnati Head Coach Butch Jones Iced Louisville's Kicker At The Exact Wrong Time, And The Bearcats Lost Because Of It
The football coach's obsession with icing the opposing team's kicker before important field goals embodies the two primary dispositions innate to football coaches: performative micromanaging and ignoring statistics. Last night, Cincinnati's Butch Jones indulged those compulsions at the worst possi...

Deadspin NBA Shit List: Dahntay Jones, Your Asshole Teammate
A celebration of the NBA's most infuriating players, both past and present. Read other NBA Shit List entries here....

Lolo Jones Was Just Named To The U.S. Bobsled Team, Because Why Not?
Yes, Lolo Jones is on the U.S. bobsled team. Huh?...

Bengals Cheerleader Who Humped High School Student: "We Still Haven't Been On Our First Date Yet"
Now that all that messy business of sleeping with one of her former students is behind her, Sarah Jones and that former student are ready to consummate their relationship, perhaps by having dinner and seeing a movie....

You Can Own A Jar Containing The Ghost Of Bobby Jones For The Low Price Of $1,000
Reader Ben sends us some exciting news. Not only is legendary golfer Bobby Jones currently existing in our world as a benevolent spirit, he is also living comfortably in a glass jar. A glass jar that you can buy on eBay! The starting bid is listed at $500, or the jar can be bought outright for $1,0...

Red Bulls Youth Soccer Coach Is Murdered, Has Ear Cut Off In Manhattan
Michael Jones, a 25-year-old youth soccer coach, was fatally stabbed early Monday morning in Manhattan, police said. Jones was from Liverpool and worked for Major League Soccer's New York Red Bulls as a coach in the team's youth mentoring program....

Bengals Cheerleader Pleads Guilty To Sexing Up High School Student, Leaves Courthouse With Him
Sarah Jones has had a busy couple of years. In 2010, the former Ben-Gal (ugh) attempted to sue TheDirty.com for claiming she was riddled with STDs from sleeping with Cincinnati players. That was good! (Although her lawyer mistakenly sued the wrong company, so she was unable to collect.) In December ...

Chipper Jones Predicted The Way The One-Game Playoff Would End Two Weeks Ago
As many have noted, two weeks ago, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution asked Chipper Jones what he thought of the one-game playoff. He said he thought the new double-wildcard, play-in game system was "stupid," because it potentially puts the second best team in a given league in the position of playing...

The Jerry Dome Is Infested With Gigantic Roaches
Sure, Cowboys Stadium may be a billion-dollar shrine to fossil fuels football, but even with the new Victoria's Secret store it seems they have a bit of a problem with pest control. EWWW. ...

Rory McIlroy Needed A Police Escort To Make His Tee Time At The Ryder Cup Today Because Of The East Coast Bias
Rory McIlroy had an 11:25 a.m. local time (important) tee time this morning. Rory was a little bit late getting to the Ryder Cup because he has no idea what time it is. According to NBC/Golf Channel, Rory was telling time by the television and since they kept giving his tee time as 12:25 p.m. becau...

Maurice Jones-Drew Still Sounds Pretty Ticked Off At Jags Management
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The issues that prompted his holdout? They're still issues....

Chipper Jones Tries To Disguise How Fat He Is By Dressing As A Rookie Being Hazed
That's the conclusion we're drawing from this photo, which was tweeted yesterday by Braves pitcher Pete Moylan. Either that, or Chipper just dresses like that for every Braves road trip. Has to be one or the other....