orry Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Thank The Lord This Crimson Tide Fan Left His Head-Gear At Home
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Breaking: World Frantically Googling The Sports Guy's Wife, Bruno Kirby
As Leitch noted earlier, the fascination with the Sports Fella extends, a little creepily, to his wife. And now look: She's the No. 11 Google hot trend, two notches below "sammy sosa bleached" and 19 sports ahead of "bruno kirby."...

And Let's Get The Late Night Off To A Rousing Start With More Naked Football Players In Provocative Poses
Since Deadspin has become an outpost for awkward, ridiculous, sexually suggestive college football team posters, I guess it was inevitable that one featuring (alleged) high school players would show up. Yay, NAMBLA....

Why Your Team Sucks: Denver Broncos
Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa Rise From The Dead
ABC made a mistake when they somehow let the onlymost marketable face on their game show get booted off in the first week. Well, thanks to the magic of television that's all a distant memory!...

Today Everyone Is Finally Convinced Kobe Bryant Is One Of The NBA's Greatest Despite His Shaq-Filled, Jizz Bomb Past
The Lakers still need two more games to close out the Magic, but those people who never doubted Kobe's true greatness for most of his career are filing early to get a leg up on those who did....

Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

Happy Youngster Attempts Somewhat Sincere Web Apology To Brewers Fans As He Disappears From Blogosphere
Some of them accepted it, but: "Boy, I don't have a problem with anything you did, but at this point can you just shut up..." But! His blog has disappeared. [BrewersFandemonium]...

And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

Fukudome's Suckitude Means No More "Horry Kow" Shirts
But if Kosuke's bat wakes up again the racist T-shirts will surely return to Wrigley. If not, there will always be a market for them in Spain. [NBC Chicago]...

Adrian Peterson Will Not Save Your Community College Football Program
This just in: Adrian Peterson is not donating $150,000 to save the North Iowa Area Community College football program, as was reported on Friday. Also, there is no Batman. Sorry everyone....

Dead Boater Jokes Are Not A Big Hit In Detroit
I know the story of three football players drowning in the Gulf of Mexico seems like a comedic goldmine, but as Detroit radio host Mike Valenti learned, there is such a thing as too soon....

Who's Sorry Now? (Martellus Bennett Rap Fail Edition)
The Cowboys' Martellus Bennett is sorry for that earlier rap, when he rhymed "Romo" with "homo." Precisely $22,000 worth of sorry. So he'd like to make it up to you with ... another rap....

A Detroit Columnist Caught Making Stuff Up? Surely Not
Detroit News columnist Rob Parker really doesn't appear on my radar screen much, except for this infamous column, and of course his work on the dearly departed Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith. So that's two strikes against him right there. But now comes the news that he apparently fabricated sou...

Who's Sorry Now? Josh Howard Edition
So far this has been quite the year for Josh Howard. Drag racing. Smokin' the reefer. And my favorite, disrespecting the National Anthem on YouTube. OK, who among is hasn't done all three? (I'm doing two of them right now). But for Howard, high-profile small forward for the Dallas Cubans, such trans...

Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...

Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...

Reds Management Would Like To Apologize For All The Sucking
In an odd move even for them, the Cincinnati Reds front office has written an open letter to fans to apologize for being in last place. Of course, CEO Bob Castellini and GM Walt Jocketty don't admit to any wrongdoing — there were injuries! And the weather has been generally bad! — but they don't wan...

Who's Sorry Now? ESPN Columnist Edition
I wanted the final Who's Sorry Now? post during Will's tenure to be a memorable one, and this one's a doozy. Jemele Hill's latest column over at the Page Dos includes the phrase "I'm sorry," not once, but three times ... plus dozens of other variations of the term sprinkled throughout. It's a mea cu...