orry Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Red Would Have Enjoyed That
The Celtics pulled out another game seven win meaning that LeBron James will not have a chance to defend Cleveland's Eastern Conference title. Paul Pierce was the man for Boston with 41 points on 13-23 from the field and some big free throws down the stretch to seal a 97-92 win....
Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition
Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keep...
1st Round, Nineteenth Overall: Panthers Select Jeff Otah
Let's measure the Otah draft buzz throughout his career in decibels (dB): 1) Leaves JUCO as a lanky ex-basketball player; wins starting job at Pitt (10 dB; rustling leaves) 2) Stones Chris Long repeatedly in Virginia-Pitt game (70 dB; Space Shuttle launch in your kitchen) 3) Suffers minor injury in...
1st Round, Sixteenth Overall: Buzzsaw Selects Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie
You better adjust the tracking on your VCR if you want to watch game tape of Rodgers-Cromartie. Tennessee State games are taped using the surveillance cameras at the Stop & Rob across the street. "The tape is not real clear. You have to find him. This reminds me of an older time in scouting," accor...
Debating Race And Offensiveness, Chicago Style
Over the weekend, much commotion was made about the various Fukudome T-shirts and bandanas that were being sold at Wrigley Field. The one item that's caused the most controversy is the "Horry Kow!" T-shirt that is apparently now banned from being sold by vendors, which featured a slant-eyed Cubbie, ...
Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...
Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...
What Would An All-Star Game Be Without Fug Unis?
Hey, loogit, there's an All-Star Game on. And it sounds as though it's slightly less boring than pointless spectacles past! I don't know, I'm at work and can't watch it. But the uniforms? Ugly!...
Who's Sorry Now? Fat Guy Edition
In possibly the biggest apology in soccer history (until the LA Galaxy gets around to explaining the whole Beckham thing), Diego Maradona has apparently admitted that it was his hand — not God's — that pushed home Argentina's game-turning goal against England in the 1986 World Cup. Of course, the fa...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Who's Sorry Now? Herm Edwards Edition
Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards, we salute you. Not only did you basically tell your fans to go #### themselves after they complained about the Chiefs' losing record, but then you were forced to sloppily apologize; essentially humbling yourself before fat guys who wear bags over their hea...
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....
I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....
Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...
Who's Sorry Now? Naked Coach Edition
If there's one thing you learn as a kid, it's that you never apologize for your Halloween costume. Hey, it's Halloween ... shit happens. Just ignore the critics and move on. But now Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna says he is very sorry for dressing as naked assistant Lions coach Joe Cullen, and would ...
Bill Belichick Is Very, Very Sorry. Just Kidding ... He Couldn't Care Less
Yes, it's the man whom you never thought you'd see leading off Who's Sorry Now, because he never apologizes for anything ... Mr. Bill Belichick. The New England Patriots coach issued a one-paragraph statement 10 minutes before his regular press conference on Wednesday, concerning the Beligate videot...
Brett Myers Wishes To Clear The Air
Only one apology in this edition of Who's Sorry Now?, if we're not counting Michael Vick. It's Phillies reliever Brett Myers, who expresses regret over calling Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi "a retard" during a terse exchange Saturday. Myers had given up a couple of home runs against th...
Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...