ow Page 1000 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tony Kornheiser Thinks Hannah Storm Should Dress More Appropriately
"Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now." You bastard. [TheBigLead]...

UK/Canada Spat Uncharacteristically Crude, Penis-Related
The English papers have been taking shots at Canada's running of the games. One Canadian columnist fires back with accusations of premature ejaculation. Yep. We've reached that point....

Predictably, Bill Plaschke Has Something Stupid To Say About Lindsey Jacobellis
Well, this was probably the most inevitable column of the Olympics: Bill Plaschke, harshing Lindsey Jacobellis's mellow....

Braving A Blizzard Now The Only Way To Watch Olympics Live
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Raiders Taking "Football" Literally
Oakland made Sebastian Janikowski the highest-paid kicker, to go along with their punter's record deal. Because when you can't score and can't stop anyone from scoring, might as well throw money at special teams. [Oakland Tribune]...

Dog Day Afternoon Redux
For the fourth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day two....

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Dogging It At Westminster
For the fourth(!) year in a row, I'm honored to serve as an embedded photojournalist on the front lines of the dog show circuit. Here's my dispatch from day one....

Rick Reilly® Escalates Personal War With Canada
The Rickster apologies for his lame anti-Canuck jokes by crafting even more lame anti-Canuck jokes and sneaking in a brag about the vindaloo-like qualities of his smoking hot wife. Wait until he hears about the electric Zambonis. [ESPN]...

Shaq, Dwight Howard Resolve Nerdiest Beef Ever
Howard: "[T]here's no battle of nicknames. I mean, if he wants to be Superman, he can be Superman. But I never tried to steal that title from him or take away anything that he's done for the game." [ESPN]...

Arnold Schwarzenegger Has A Question For His Golf Partner: "When Was Your Last Blow Job?"
Via Wei Under Par comes this amusing tale of golfing with the California governor, who apparently behaves as coarsely on the links as he does, well, everywhere else....

So Who's The ESPN Employee Calling Stu Scott An A-Hole On Reddit?
Either a well-versed prankster has invaded Reddit's popular IAMA anonymous q-and-a, or, once again, Bristol has a reckless scuttlebutt willing to (anonymously) unload about Scott, Chris Berman, Michelle Beadle, Michael Wilbon and more....

Peter King Is Already Manufacturing Dumb Storylines For the 2010 Season
"The logical question for the Saints: Is all this celebrating and spate of parades ... going to go on so long that they affect the Saints' ability to repeat in 2010?" That question leads the league in stupid. [SI.com]...

No, The Sports Fella Did Not Hope For A Dead Georgian Luger
Thanks to the eighty of you who drew our attention to Bill Simmons retro Winter Olympics column, and his hankering for luge accidents. You can stop now....

Bill Plaschke, Master Of Finding Controversy Where None Exists
Plaschke's manufactured outrage of the day: "there was no makeshift memorial of flowers or cards, there was no visible memory" of Nodar Kumaritashvili. The photo that runs with the story? A makeshift memorial of flowers and cards. [MSTI]...

Montreal Columnist Breaks Out The Nazi Metaphor A Little Prematurely
The Flyers have a reputation as a dirty team. Fine. It's okay to hate them. But a February match-up between two teams barely in the playoff picture is no reason to resort to Hitler comparisons. Save it for the playoffs....

The Maple Street Press Is Sorry For Giving/Making The 2010 Cubs Anal
"Continuing with yesterday's theme of things we learned while pulling together the 2010 Annuals, there was a significant one from the Cubs Annual: Derrek Lee is a little taller than we thought."[MapleStreetPress]...

Katie Spotz's Fascinating Online Rowboat Journey
The Awl introduces us to Katie Spotz's fantastic blog, chronicling her quest to become the youngest person ever to row across the Atlantic Ocean....

Wade Phillips Cuts A Rug In Miami
Super Bowl parties aren't all hookers and cocaine; sometimes they're about middle-aged white coaches awkwardly doing group dances. The YMCA has never been so simultaneously wholesome and icky. (Video is rated debatably SFW, for graphic scenes of Wade Phillips dancing.)...

Track's Safety Was Already In Question Before Fatal Crash
When Nodar Kumaritashvili died in a training run this morning, it came after years of hype of the fastest, most dangerous downhill run in the world. No one wants death, but we all want the athletes to risk it....