ow Page 1005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Great To Have You With Us: Your College Hoops Open Thread
Mike Patrick's so excited, and he just can't hide it. Join him and yourselves for some basketball! Duke-Georgetown's at 1; six freshmen, including young sensation John Wall, will play in Vanderbilt-Kentucky at 4; Kansas battles Kansas State at 7. [ESPN]...

Donovan McNabb Is So Totally Going To Dunk London Fletcher. Cannonball!
Update on the NBA-NFL rivalry: Kobe Bryant sells sneakers via gun violence whereas Donovan McNabb, cocktail umbrella behind ear, threatens Pro Bowl n00b London Fletcher (née Susan Lucci) with some badass hazing: "He'll get initiated at the pool bar." [USAToday]...

Dear Bill Simmons, Please Stop Feeling My Pain For Me
I know many of you find Simmons bashing a tiresome pursuit, so I will keep this as civil as I possibly can....

Chirpy Korean Girl Group Likes Glitter, Knee-Highs, Iowa Hawkeyes Football
Via the good lads at Black Heart Gold Pants comes this music video for which I have no words, other than to say that it is no more inexplicable than the last time women in Korea fawned over a Hawkeye....

The Dangerous Message Of The Tebow Miracle
On Super Bowl Sunday, Tim Tebow and his mom will appear on your television sets and suggest very sweetly that the women among you play dice games with their God....

Super Bowl Subplot #3: A Pro Bowl Like No Other
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

NOLA Mayor Still Needs Super Bowl Tickets
He's got some good leads, though. Glengarry leads. "Some people seem to forget I come from the business environment. So I got contacts at ESPN, USAToday, you name it. So I'm going to work it out." [NOLA]...

FSN's Charissa Thompson Gave Some Interesting Twitter Commentary About Last Night's SOTU
Thompson, a sideline princess for Fox Sports and former "Best Damn" co-host, took to Twitter last night to share her thoughts on President Obama's SOTU address. She was reluctant, at first, but eventually just HAD to say something....

Who Dat Think They Can Violate Our Intellectual Property Rights?
The NFL is cracking down on New Orleans merchants selling "Who Dat" paraphernalia, claiming it's a violation of league-owned trademarks. Next up: The Catholic Church and their egregious canonization policies. [WWLTV; pic]...

Super Bowl Subplot #2: Trash-Talking Art Nerds
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

New Orleans Judge Sets Important Legal Precedent With "Saintsmania" Ruling
District Court Judge Michael G. Bagneris has granted a one-week continuance in his current trial so that Court members may properly adjudicate the "Saintsmania" that "permeates the City of New Orleans." Justice: Cajun Style! [AboveTheLaw; pic via]...

Gregg Williams Pretty Much Wants The Saints To Destroy Peyton Manning
Gregg Williams, highly decorated defensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints, appeared on 104.5 The Zone's new "3 Hour Lunch" and laid out the WhoDats strategy against Manning: knock him out of the game....

Super Bowl Subplot #1: Those Manning Boys
There are several key storylines that all media outlets are required to discuss in the days leading up to the Super Bowl. We will do our part by beating them into the ground as far as we can....

And ESPN Runs, Runs So Far Away From Paul Shirley
Here's their entire statement: "He was a part-time freelance contributor. The views he expressed on another site of course do not at all reflect our company's views on the Haiti relief efforts. He will no longer contribute to ESPN."...

Last Night's Winner: Devan Downey
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like South Carolina's Devan Downey, who out-Walled John Wall and continued to make it dangerous to be the No. 1-ranked team. Cocks....

NFL Scouts Detect Two Large Flaws In Terrence Cody's Game
My God. Look at that photo. That's 370 pounds of nose tackle, coming to a 3-4 near you. [SI.com]...

Tim Layden Bids Farewell To Brett Favre With Some Sexy Slash Fiction
There are two noble conventions of football journalism that will fall by the wayside should Brett Favre elect to sit his old ass down for good. The first is of the Werder-Mortensen "Sources: Favre eats soup" variety. And the second?...

It Appears Everyone Can Now Make Half-Court Shots At Olathe Northwest's Gym
Okay — this is officially insane. FOX4 went back to do a follow-up story about Joel Branstrom's blind-folded half-court shot. Reporter Rob Low, just shooting a teaser for the spot, tried one of his own (backwards)...and also made it....

The Brett Favre Anti-Appreciation Society Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like all the Brett Favre haters who got exactly what they wanted at precisely the time they needed. You have two more wishes....

Dis Who
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....