ow Page 1018 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Great Idea For A Paper Looking To Curry Favor: Hire Coach's Daughter
Not news: The Hartford Courant is planning to hire a new blogger to cover UConn women's hoops. News: said blogger's name is Alysa Auriemma. Conflict of interest much?...

Orlando Brown Allegedly Leaves His Ex-Wife Something To Remember Him By
Najeh "Deuce" Davenport was crowned the king of unlawful defecation after he took a dump in his girlfriend's laundry basket back in 2002. Now it appears the plunger has been passed to Orlando Brown, a man of even greater fiber....

Mark Whicker Has Left The Yard Before
The year was 1991. Journalist and ex-Marine Terry Anderson had just been freed after nearly seven years of captivity in Lebanon. Seven years is a long time. Luckily, a columnist named Mark Whicker was around to put it in perspective....

After Unanimous Backlash, Mark Whicker Responds
Though the column was published Monday night, Whicker's Jaycee Dugard column didn't strike the collective nerve of the Internet until today. I got in touch with the OC Register's sports editor, and here's what he and Whicker have to say....

Mark Whicker Leaves The Yard
I do not say this lightly: What you're about to read is the single worst piece of sports journalism ever committed to the page....

Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...

Emmitt Smith Says Romo And Phillips Have To Stop Being Polite, Start Being Real
Articulately-challenged running back Emmitt Smith is frustrated with his former team, and he's blaming Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo and Wade Phillips for the Lombardi trophy drought in Big D, urging them to yell at more people....

ESPN Now Beset By Non-Plastic Vulpine Creatures
A Deadspin operative passes along an e-mail recently sent 'round the Bristol compound, warning ESPN employees about a fox seen prowling the campus, like some physical manifestation of lurking evil....

Please Do Not Insult Mike Lupica On Twitter
No matter how ludicrous a Mike Lupica rant might be, it's probably best if you don't call him on it a public forum. Especially if you also work for ESPN: The Conglomerate....

<em>National Review</em> Guy Continues Dumb Crusade Against Imaginary Scourge Of Lefty Sportswriters
Whiny Jay Nordlinger is now soliciting examples of mean old press-box commies mixing partisan politics with sports. He says he's making an "omnium-gatherum," which is Latin for "butt plug." [NRO]...

Jay Mariotti Thinks USC’s Freshman QB Is Totally Cute
It's not uncommon for sportswriters to have man-crushes on athletes, but when you lead with this Freudian slip, you're bound to raise some eyebrows: "The afternoon sun was orgasmic. … Yet nothing was more radiant than Matt Barkley's smile."...

Why Your Team Sucks: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Ex-OSU Tight End May Have a Problem With Raping People
Earlier this week, sophomore Jamal Mosley up and left the Oklahoma State football team for what head coach Mike Gundy called "personal reasons". Turns out by "personal reasons", he meant "multiple rape allegations". To-may-to, to-mah-to, I guess....

OK, Enough With The Contrarian MVP Crap
Joe Mauer is your AL MVP. Not Mark Teixeira. Not Kendry Morales. Not Derek Jeter. He is MVP by just about every standard imaginable except for the one applied by bored sportswriters who need copy during an inert pennant race....

Crystal Taylor: Not Pregnant!
Dirk Nowitzki's ex-fiancée isn't carrying a little Dirkchen, a pregnancy test proved. (Not to mention months in prison with nothing to show for it.) Clearly, while Dirk tried to drain one from outside, there was goaltending on the play. [ESPN.com]...

<em>National Review</em> Guy Is Tired Of All Those Lefty Sportswriters Who Don't Really Exist
Whiny Jay Nordlinger's had it up to here with those ragingly liberal sportswriters (that's you, Comrade Cannizzaro!) always spilling politics in his sports. "Why do they have to flick some mud into your banana split?" he writes, from Neptune. [NRO]...

Jason Whitlock Stages His Own Private Sports Media Roast
In his latest, Whitlock uses the occasion of Erin Andrews' Oprah appearance to go all Jeffrey Ross-on-Bea Arthur on his colleagues. Reilly's column: "read by tens of hundreds of readers who find it while looking for Bill Simmons' column." Burn!...

USC Song Girls Do That Thing They Do That Makes People Happy
The lively boys at TrojanWire have cobbled together a tribute video to the world's most famous white-sweatered show ponies — with musical accompaniment by the Pixies — to celebrate the advent of Trojan season. [TrojanWire]...

Carolla Needlessly Rants About Simmons' "Retard Chicken Pussy" Bosses (UPDATE)
On his podcast, Adam Carolla declared that some "retard fucking hack" at ESPN wouldn't allow the Sports Male to appear on his show. The rant is a thing of beauty that earns only a minor demerit for being totally untrue....

Bruce Bowen Retires To Focus On Cutthroat Hair Salon Business
Three-time NBA Champion Bruce Bowen is calling it a career at age 38. That should given him plenty of time to bum rush San Antonio hair spas and berate former employees for stealing his business....