ow Page 1021 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

They Lost The 'Devil,' But The Rays Are Still Goth
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Crappy White Sox Tickets No One Wanted Are Now Expensive Keepsakes
Maybe you didn't see Mark Buehrle twirl a perfect game live, but now, thanks to the glories of American commerce and the indifference of Sox fans, you can buy an unsold ticket from that day and pretend you did. [Ticketmaster]...

Tim Tebow And His Even Dirtier GQ Pictures
The Sideline Princess shoot was fine, but those aren’t even the naughtiest pictures of a Florida alum in GQ this month. The lurid full-page centerfold of a sweaty, shirtless Tim Tebow is positively filthy....and comes with drooling prose to match....

Victorino Beer Drencher Inspires Fans Around The World
An Australian Rules Footballer was the victim of a copycat beer thrower, no doubt inspired by the Wrigley Field hooligans who doused Phillie Shane Victorino. You mess with the bull, you get a cup of Foster's thrown in your face....

Braylon Edwards Learns About The Dark Side Of Twitter
Sure, social media brings you closer to the fans ... but that just makes it easier for them to tell you that you suck at your job. [Waiting For Next Year]...

Why Your Team Sucks: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Vancouver, On The Rocks
John Branch of The New York Times filed not one, but two stories about ice this weekend. Apparently, the Winter Olympics needs a lot of it, and not just in their Scotch. [NYT]...

And Now A Story That Is Trying To Break Your Heart
Deadspin's fondness for Pat Jordan's writing is well documented and it's always a good day when he publishes something new. But his latest piece for Men's Journal is a bit of a departure from his usual chest-thumping....

Soon We Will Know What Every Man, Woman and Child On Earth Thinks About Michael Vick
Your surest sign that the Vick signing is the perfect shitstorm of media in the perfect town for a media shitstorm? Everyone needed to know what Chase Utley's wife had to say about it....

Beer Tosser Confronts Those He's Wronged; Next, Victorino's Fist
Beer Chucker and Fall Guy finally tell their stories. Do they share a sweaty manhug and a tearful manpology? Does Chicago forgive them? Is Bartman on the hook again? [WGN] [Image: Cubbies Crib]...

The Worst American Sports Writing: Steve Yanda
Deadspin readers met Steve Yanda this week when he compared the Nationals' winning streak to Bach's Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor (the Nats have not won a game since). But Steve Yanda writes like that all the time....

The Worst American Sports Writing: Gene Wojciechowski
Writing. About sports. Sometimes it is so terrible it can make you cry, cry like a child who has learned his heroes have feet of clay. "Feet" meaning "buttocks" and "of clay" meaning "shot full of Dianabol." Here's Gene Wojciechowski....

Mob Justice Prevails Again (UPDATE #3)
Sick of seeing his overly-manicured facial hair plastered up all over Chicago, the suspected Wrigley Field beer chucker has turned himself in. We'll stay with this story all night if we have to! God, I feel like Nancy Grace....

Internet Paralyzed By Michael Vick To Buffalo Rumors
Have you heard?! Michael Vick and Tony Dungy are in Buffalo right now signing an eighteen-year deal worth $4 billion. Or maybe he's not in New York State at all? Maybe you're the one who's like....trapped in Buffalo, man!...

Now For Jason Whitlock's Thoughts On Rick Pitino
Topics discussed: Pussy Galore, Strange Tang, Pitino, Josh Hamilton, Reggie Miller, Monica Lewinsky, Obama and Hillary doin' it. There's something for everyone: rampant misogyny and gay-baiting! This column makes every sportswriter in America look like Betty Friedan in comparison. [FoxSports]...

Wrigley Beer-Tossing Hand Job Still At Large (UPDATE) (UPDATE NO)
I imagine that since we're very close to identifying the man who soaked Shane Victorino last night at Wrigley, that the Chicago PD are close as well....

Our Man In Boy Clothes Is Not Feeling Generous Today
Mike Lupica's ego is to sportswriting what Milton Berle's cock is to comedy. It is an occupational totem, around which colleagues spin fantastical-seeming yarns that just so happen to be true. Here are a few such tales....

Stay Classy, Cubs Fans (UPDATE)
So, yeah, this happened tonight. Maybe it's time to retire that old stereotype of Philly having the worst fans? The culprit identified, after the jump....

Dwight Howard's Lawyers Tell The World That's Not His Penis
The photos of a man who looks like Dwight Howard pulling down his shorts to reveal his member in a web cam pic found on Mediatakeout are not him, TMZ reveals. Big day for everybody....

Brady Quinn-Derek Anderson Feud Gets Catty
Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn are both listed as No. 1 on the Browns depth chart, although I don't believe the NFL's plan to add a second football to gameplay will take effect this year. So let the sabotage begin!...