ow Page 1035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why Do The White Sox Need Think They Need Pitching Help Anyway?
Poor Bartolo Colon. 8 runs (only one earned, though!) in two innings of work and then the world caved in. [Yahoo!]...

At Least One Person Still Collects Football Cards
I was not aware that anyone still manufactured or collected football cards—I kind of chose not to be aware—but the market is apparently still strong enough that an on-duty police officer recently felt compelled to shoplift some from a general store....

White Sox Fans...Meet Your New Starting Pitcher
Pending approval, Padres' ace Jake Peavy will reportedly go to the White Sox for some little people aka "prospects." [SI.com]...

That Wasn't Supposed To Happen Was It?
The Cavaliers had been sitting for eight days after sweeping the first two rounds, but that didn't seem to matter when they rolled out to a 15-point lead in the first half. Then the second half happened, and somehow when the final buzzer sounded LeBron and company were not ahead on the scoreboard. W...

Rick Reilly Takes A Page From His Own Book
Last year, ESPN paid Rick Reilly "ridonkulous" money to write an original 800-word weekly column. This week, though, he utilized his space to present a recycled version of a column he penned in 2003....

Dirk Nowitzki's Lady Friend Gives Jailhouse Interview
Cristal Taylor has given her first jailhouse interview, stating that yes, she was engaged to Dirk Nowitzki; no, he hasn't called; and you bet your ass, she's pregnant....

Mike Tirico Being Groomed For Bigger, Boomer Things
"In an apparent attempt to make Mike Tirico a younger Chris Berman, ESPN has juggled its lineup, giving its "Monday Night Football" play-by-play voice "a variety of high-profile TV and radio assignments." [Times-Union]...

It's The Michael Strahan Show!
I was just thinking the other day that primetime television needs more shows featuring NFL sack leaders in key acting roles. And look at that! It happened. Michael Strahan is the newest member of the Fox family....

Mariotti Offers A Comforting Hand To Kornheiser, Himself
Shouty Jay Mariotti says he'll miss Tony Kornheiser on MNF, a man with whom he feuded cattily for indeterminate reasons over the years. This seems mystifyingly bighearted until you realize he's actually writing about himself....

Only Terrell Owens Can Cover Terrell Owens
Now that the city of Buffalo is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Terrell Owens, Inc., he's just going to go ahead and do his own sports reports, thank you very much. [WKBW]...

Happy Youngster Attempts Somewhat Sincere Web Apology To Brewers Fans As He Disappears From Blogosphere
Some of them accepted it, but: "Boy, I don't have a problem with anything you did, but at this point can you just shut up..." But! His blog has disappeared. [BrewersFandemonium]...

George Brett Is The Gift That Keeps On Cursing
Upset over the rampant criticism of Royals' manager Trey Hillman, the Hall of Famer unloaded on a local tv reporter when asked about it. Total bleeps in this 80 second interview? Five....

Midwesterners Sure Do Love Their Lawn Mowin' T-Shirts
Irked by the loathsome "Zambrano mows my lawn" shirt found on one Cardinals fan a couple weeks ago, the Wrigley faithful come back with their own interpretation....

Terrell Owens Makes Buffalo Seem Like An Exciting Place To Live
Terrell Owens has been a Buffalo Bill for all of about six hours, but he's already the most beloved free agent acquisition in the history of football. Although to be fair....we are talking about Buffalo....

Adventures In Ill-Timed Column Topics
Chuck Woodling, Lawrence Journal World & News, May 16, 2009: "Wayman Tisdale always will be remembered as a bit player in one of the ugliest incidents in the history of Kansas University's Allen Fieldhouse." [LJWorld]...

So What Does Jon Gruden Really Think Of His New Employer?
Having a selective memory and no access to Google comes in handy during a job search. That way, when a network hires you to talk football they aren't embarrassed by old quotes like this one....

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Let's Reconsider Making A 2 Legit 2 Twit Joke
M.C. Hammer: "Watching No Doubt with Big Ben and my Son at Tiger Woods event !!" [M.C. Hammer Twitter]...

Rick Telander Defends Ryan Theriot Against Rick Telander's Steroid Accusations, All Hell Breaks Loose
Here, courtesy of Rick Telander and his colleagues in the Chicago sports media, is a nice little primer on how to whip up a good old-fashioned hysteria out of nothing whatsoever....