ow Page 1042 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boston Guys: This Woman Could Be Your Wife One Day
There's something so calming about this dimwitted lady's Sisyphean trudge up the down-side of the escalator, undeterred by science, or the thousands of annoyed Bruins fans in her path....

Giant Burger Of Doom Now Comes With A Side Of Controversy
West Michigan Whitecaps are refusing an advocacy group's demand that they put a warning label on their 4,800-calorie super-burger. [NBCSports]...

Pat Bowlen To Cutler: JUST GO AWAY, YOU STUPID BABY
Actually it was a bit more reasonable than that — but just as emphatic. So which team will snag Jay Cutler? [DenverPost]...

Calipari Watch, Day 2: Pretty Blonde Reporter Is Latest Victim Of The Madness
A Deadpsin operative checked into "Door Watch '09" last night to find that the Memphis Athletic Department had been replaced by an adorable blonde reporter. You can imagine how the comment horde dealt with that....

Kevin Garnett Gets A Long Spring Break
Celtics will "shut down" their hobbled big man until his knee gets better. Don't expect to see Garnett play again until it's time for the playoffs.Why not just shut down all their starters? [SI/AP]...

This Lucky Lady Might Be The Person Riding In Tim Tebow's Sidecar
But who knows! Is she just an amorous fan? A waitress? A cousin? A young woman in need of a circumcision? It's a mystery that's sure to cause Gainesville's single ladies to hyperventilate. [TheBigLead]...

Who Is This Dashing Soccer Player, And Why Is He Using His Hands?
Hint: He now makes millions playing a different sport, and once dated Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel. Yes, it's Derek Jeter, whose mom once again forgot to bring the post-game orange slices....

Woman Somehow Resists Kurt Angle Love Sonnet
You're forgiven if you've forgotten that Kurt Angle was once a serious athlete. In addition to being a championship college grappler, he won a gold medal in freestyle wrestling at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics....

Yes, Robert Powell Is Very Proud To Be A Policeman
The Dallas cop who made national news thanks to his heartless treatment of Texans' running back Ryan Moats' grieving family has a MySpace page that's not at all surprising. [SBB]...

Well Why Even Bother Playing The Season Now?
Yankees installed as 9/2 favorites to win World Series, followed by Red Sox (11/2), Cubs (8/1) and, wait for it ... New York Mets (8/1). And your MVP is Mark Teixeira. [Bodog Life.com]...

Opening Day At Citi Field, The House That You And I Built
The first player ever to hit a home run at Citi Field? Sean Lamont of Georgetown, which beat St. John's 6-4 on Sunday as Mets fans got to give their new, controversial ballpark a test drive....

Orioles' Radio Station Turns Rain-Delay Into "Canceled" Game
Fans in Baltimore waiting for the Orioles game to resume yesterday after a 90-minute rain delay may have been confused when the game resumed, but the radio crew calling the action was nowhere to be found....

Siena's Drunk, Rowdy Fans Are Not Welcome Back To Ohio
The Siena Saints pulled off one of the more memorable wins over Ohio State in the NCAA tournament this year, but the behavior of their fans didn't do anything to endear themselves to local Ohioans....

Who's Sorry Now? Dallas Cop Apologizes For Moats Stop
Officer Robert Powell, who stopped Ryan Moats from seeing his dying mother-in-law during a traffic stop on March 18, has gone into full 'save-my-job' mode, apologizing in a letter through his attorney. [CBS Sports]...

Your Yankee Superfandom Is Not Welcome
Interesting story about the paranoid corporate buffoonery of the Yankees who decided that novelist Jane Heller's "Confessions of a She-Fan" was "too controversial" to be a part of the Yankees' Opening Day commemorative program....

More Thinking Outside The Box From The NFL Meetings
The NFL "is exploring the possibility of having sponsor logos worn unobtrusively on practice jerseys." For the Bengals I suggest Chico's Bail Bonds. [USA Today]...

The Video Of Ryan Moats Getting Pulled Over Is Intense And Troubling
It's a shame to get to this so late in the day, but this is pretty startling video of Ryan Moats' unfortunate run-in with the Dallas police department while rushing to his mother-in-law's bedside....

Meanwhile, On The Kensington Expressway ...
Bills vandals fans welcome Terrell Owens in their unique way. He should be in town eight times this season, so hopefully he'll see this....

Fukudome's Suckitude Means No More "Horry Kow" Shirts
But if Kosuke's bat wakes up again the racist T-shirts will surely return to Wrigley. If not, there will always be a market for them in Spain. [NBC Chicago]...

Will Raiders Go Truly Retro On NFL's Opening Throwback Weekend?
How quickly we forget that before Al Davis took over the team in 1963, the AFL franchise was scheduled to be named the Oakland Senòres. [San Francisco Chronicle]...