ow Page 1132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Like The Bachelor, But Somehow Dumber
Remember Mark Philippoussis? He was a vaguely douchey tennis "star" who dated Paris Hilton before it set your genitals on fire to date Paris Hilton. (This could be when she was nine.) Well, he has made the next logical jump in his "career;" He's appearing on a dating reality show. That NBC dating sh...

Come See Rick Reilly Make Armpit Noises
We've encouraged you to come to the Varsity Letters Reading Series in New York before, but if you come to tonight's endeavor, you'll be in for a special treat. (Depending on how you define "special.") The headlining reader is Sports Illustrated columnist/stand-up comic Rick Reilly. (Donald Evans and...

When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....

We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...

Protect Your Jewels, Macaulay!
Our childhood obsession with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is well documented, to be sure. But exactly how would we have been scarred if we had somehow stumbled onto this version? The mind reels....

Kevin Durant Is Low On The Upper Body Strength
Among those who care more about silly workout statistics and the notion of watching young men in their underwear run, jump and lift things than simply watching how preternaturally blessed athletes dominate their sports, there was considerable concern this week about Kevin Durant's relatively weak sh...

Three Great Tastes That Taste Great Together
So, you're trying to promote your fledgling soccer franchise. You've got a two options: You can hold a blood drive outside the stadium pregame and give free tickets to those who give up a pint. Or ... you can just GIVE OUT FREE BEER!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while watching this over and over ... • College softball: World Series, championship series, Game 2, Tennessee vs. Arizona, at Oklahoma City. The over-under on attempted drag bunts is 19. [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee. Piniella to spend some quality time in the parking lot w...

Throwing A Baseball Is Hard
In lieu of Danny DeVito's wretched throwing out of the first pitch at the Phillies game yesterday — we suspect he had some physical disadvantages here, like, say, being able to move his arms — and the disaster that was Cincinnati mayor Mark Mallory, we are thinking a bit today about ceremonial first...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you notice the cat is wearing your watch ... • College softball: World Series, championship series, Game 1, Arizona vs. Tennessee, at Oklahoma City. The only sport we can think of where you get to wear visors. [ESPN] • MLB: New York Yankees at Chicago White Sox. Wonder what the stri...

Donovan, Beckham Each Politely Request A Mulligan
It's buyer's remorse day here at Who's Sorry Now, as Billy Donovan and David Beckham each ask the musical question: What exactly is the cooling off period for switching high-profile sports jobs? In Donovan's case, on Friday he decided to leave the Florida Gators to take the Orlando Magic job, then t...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. New York Yankees @ Boston Red Sox. Andy Pettitte selfishly pitches while Roger Clemens' groin is desperate for attention. • 9:00, NBC. Friday Night Lights. Matt Saracen vs. Johnnie Morton in a bare knuckle brawl ... who do you like? • 9:00, NFL Network. Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleaders...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, NBC. Stanley Cup Finals. Anaheim Ducks @ Ottawa Senators. Or the All Children's Telethon, which should be good, too. • 8:00, ESPN2. Soccer. China vs. United States. If this game is so "friendly," why even keep score? • 8:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Craig Sag...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch to top off another glorious Free Donut Day ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, James Kirkland vs. Ossie Duran; junior welterweights, Timothy Bradley vs. Donald Camarena, at Santa Ynez, Calif. Oh, you wanted "abuse." It's "being-hit-on-the-head" lessons in here. [Showtime] • College sof...

Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after coming in from recess ... • College softball: World Series at Oklahoma City, Tennessee vs. Texas A&M and Baylor vs. Arizona. Shootout at the OK corral. [ESPN] • Golf: LPGA, Ginn Tribute, first round, at Mt. Pleasant, S.C. We have a bad case of Annika Sorenstam. [The Golf Channel]...

Down Goes Patel!
It's official, folks: Samir Patel, the perennial favorite who always just misses at the Spelling Bee, has just been eliminated from the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. The word he missed was "clevis."...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing a happy birthday to the legend that is unsilent majority ... • MLB: Cleveland at Boston [ESPN2]; Florida at Chicago Cubs. Red Sox's magic number is 90. [WGN] • NBA: Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 5. Let's point the t-shirt cannon toward the court thi...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the jerk store calls to say they're running out of you ... • MLB: San Francisco at New York Mets. Willie Mays' loyalties are divided. [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, Eastern Conference finals, Game 4, Detroit at Cleveland. Remember when Shaq and Kobe used to play games in late May? [TNT] • ...

Hey, Better Than Shaq And The Fu-Schnickens
From our pal Orson at The Fanhouse comes this old promotional video for the Chinese table tennis team. (And don't you dare let us catch you trying to call it "ping pong." These young ping-pongers — dammit! — have a flow quite dope. And they seem very happy to be rapping, that's for sure....