ow Page 1190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you build a fence around your property and start calling it a "compound" ... • College Basketball: Pepperdine at Kansas; Indiana at Charlotte. We've got 49ers Fever — we can't deny it, and we just can't hide it. [ESPN2] • Monday Night Football: Green Bay at Baltimore. Didn't one ...
How 'Bout That Darrell Armstrong?!
We've always wondered what would happen if we ended up a semi-prominent public figure in, say, Chicago, or Iowa City, Iowa. As lifelong Cardinals and Illini boosters, it would be impossible for us to hide our loyalties; we couldn't pretend to root for the Cubs or the Hawkeyes even if our livelihoo...
Professor Irvin's Class Is In Session
The Miami Herald points us in the direction of something that was new to us: The Michael Irvin Academic Resource Academy. Irvin recently dedicated the "learning center" in Ft. Lauderdale, and whatever our thoughts about Irvin, it's difficult to find much fault in the gesture. Its goal is to help "...
NFL Roundup: Sad Colts, Happy Bolts
• We'll confess, we were actually kind of rooting for the Colts not to finish 16-0. Not because we have anything against them — we don't, save for maybe a suspicion that Edgerrin James did a guest spot on the seventh floor crew — but because we will never have faith in Tony Dungy and Peyton Chessn...
Clearing The 4 o'clock Table...
• Cleveland 9, Oakland 7. If you watched this one, you're a diehard Browns fan, a diehard Raiders fan, or a person with severe emotional problems, and I'm worried about you. Let's get you some help. • Bengals 41, Detroit 17. Even Chad Johnson knows that it's bad form to celebrate the mundane accom...
The Severe Beating of the Dallas Cowboys
The Redskins are beating the Cowboys in just about every possible way that a team can be beaten. You have to wonder how all of our lives would be different if more of the original cowboy vs. Native American matchups had gone this way in the early history of our nation....
Setting the 4 o'clock Table...
• Dallas @ Washington. I think you'll want to watch this one when you see your other two options below... • Cincinnati @ Detroit. Because someone needs to prove to Matt Millen that is is possible to resurrect a moribund franchise. • Cleveland @ Oakland. There are only 3 games at 4 o'clock today, whi...
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL. Well, you should probably watch the end of this Giants/Chiefs game... it's pretty good. • NFL. Denver @ Buffalo. Watch as Jake Plummer shows JP Losman what facial hair is all about. • College Basketball. Virginia @ #11 Gonzaga. Adam Morrison's facial hair role model, the Virginia Cavaliers ...
A Couple Of Naughty Longhorns
Two Texas Longhorns are in trouble, and their timing could be considered poor. The Austin Police Department released a statement last night saying that they were investigating two different criminal incidents involving individuals "involved in the UT athletics program," which sounds like a nice wa...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that fly fishing scholarship is probably unrealistic ... • College Division I-AA championship game, Northern Iowa vs. Appalachian State, at Chattanooga, Tenn. Yes, when we hear that ASU is playing, we always think Mountaineers. [ESPN2] • NBA: Miami at Philadelphia; Washi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize, that Christmas thing coming up requires a little shopping ... • NBA: Denver at Cleveland; Houston at Seattle. Not as exciting as an afternoon with John Daly, but OK in a pinch. [TNT] • Women's College Basketball: LSU at Ohio State. Setting screens. Blocking out. Running...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as, despondent over recent events, the curtains hang themselves ... • NBA: Phoenix at Dallas; Houston at Golden State. We're not used to seeing the Warriors this far up in the standings — it's kind of disorienting. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Stony Brook Seawolves at Hofstra Pride. It...
PETA's Super Bowl Shuffle
According to the New York Post, the fine folks at PETA are putting together an commercial for the Super Bowl that will involved female models "'flashing' the camera, and when they lift their shirt, they will have prosthetic udders over their breasts." Ignoring the fact that this is almost, letter ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize you are a ping pong ball in the bingo hopper of life ... • College Basketball: DePaul at Wake Forest. Battle for the throne of evil: Blue Demons vs. Demon Deacons. [ESPN] • NHL: Pittsburgh at St. Louis. Fun, fun, fun in the Savvis Center. [OLN] • NBA: Atlanta Hawks at Cl...
Freddie Mitchell: Still Alive, Apparently
Well, last night was Terrell Owens' 32nd birthday party in Atlantic City, and reports are filing in. Not surprisingly, the biggest star of the show was former Eagles receiver Freddie Mitchell, or, as he might be known, "Terrell Owens if Terrell Owens was 85 percent less talent and 27 percent more...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Skip Bayless
We've been doing this feature for a while now, but this is the first time we've dressed in a tux to write it. Featuring Skip Bayless on Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks is like having a play open on Broadway. Which play? Springtime For Hitler comes to mind — a subject so rancid, it can't help but...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to grow yourself a Stan Van Gundy stache... • Monday Night Football: New Orleans at Atlanta. We love MNF in the worst way, and it appears that, this week, that's how we're getting it. [ABC] • NHL: Flightless Sea Fowl at Red Wings. We're into our second week of Super Mario ...
Owens Has Plenty Of Time To Party
Tomorrow night, in Atlantic City, N.J. — "we're like Vegas, only, you know, with more cutoff T-shirts with "I'm With Stupid" printed on them" — former Eagles wide receiver Terrell Owens will celebrate his 32nd birthday. ESPN's Chris Mortensen reported that invitations were left in Eagles players' ...
To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Detroit @ LA Clippers. Because it will be nice for Rip Hamilton to go up against Sam Cassell. He so rarely gets to see people uglier than he is. • College basketball. Boston College @ Maryland. Battles between Eagles and Turtles are just so unpredictable. • NFL. Detroit @ Green Bay. Actually,...
Non-Chad Johnson TDs Suck
Instead of fining Chad Johnson for excessive touchdown celebrations, Paul Tagliabue should start fining Bengals who score TDs that aren't named Chad Johnson....