ow Page 388 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
My Life As A Minor League Baseball Clown
Social media has Hoovered the best years out of my life. The last thing I remember, I was a college freshman whose cosplay enthusiast girlfriend signed us both up for a website called “The Face Book.” Now, I’m middle-aged and drive an electric car. As if this wasn’t already evident, at no point betw...
Check Out The Wheels On This Pumpkin Thief
Yesterday, D.C. writer Topher Mathews posted about the pumpkin on his doorstep. Specifically, he posted about how someone had stolen his pumpkin. It happens all the time! However, I have to say that I am pretty sure most pumpkin thefts are not this funny....
Freddie Kitchens Made An Absolute Brain-Genius Move With The Browns Down Three Possessions
You know how every so often, we’ll get a story about Bill Belichick exploiting some obscure loophole in order to give the Patriots a better opportunity in a certain scenario? What Browns head coach Freddie Kitchens did in Sunday’s 27-13 loss to New England is the opposite of that....
German Sunday League Player Knocks Referee Out Cold After Receiving Red Card
It’s not clear what this unidentified player did to earn a red card in a German amateur soccer match between FSV Münster and TV Smend, but he definitely deserved a red and even more for his reaction to the card, which was to punch the referee’s lights out:...
Cowboy Mounted Shooting Is A Sport With Its Own Ideas About The Old West
SOCORRO, New Mexico — Ten traffic cones dotted a large dirt pitch, each threaded with a helium balloon: five yellow, five pink. The balloons were the kind you’d find at any dollar store or birthday party, perfectly innocuous. At the far end of the arena, a mounted rider paced a small track in the ea...
Someone Should Put The Warriors In Rice
After the Clippers beat the brakes off the Warriors on Friday, coach Steve Kerr offered the following foreboding quote to reporters about what his team should expect for the remainder of the season:...
The Browns Turned It Over On Three Consecutive Offensive Snaps
The Cleveland Browns came into their game against New England this week with a lot of optimism. Jarvis Landry even guaranteed victory over the defending Super Bowl champs, before recanting a bit.Maybe there was a reason he walked back his prediction. The Browns dug a 17-0 hole against the Patriots t...
The Bucs Just Can't Get Out Of Their Own Way
Tampa Bay’s offense is at its worst whenever Mike Evans doesn’t have the ball. Case in point is this third-and-goal play with the offense just four yards from the end zone. What should have been a simple hand off to running back Dare Ogunbowale turned into a comedy of errors as Breshad Perriman jack...
Bears Fans Boo Team Off The Field After Offense Freezes At The Goal Line
Is this football? I think it’s supposed to be football, but what I’m seeing is an especially glitchy game of Madden I need to turn off and turn back on again. And the fans in Chicago seem to agree with me. Heading into halftime against the Chargers, down 7-6 with 45 seconds remaining in the quarter,...
Nick Rimando Was Never Too Short To Stand Tall
One dream is that it never ends. The cartilage never recedes and the synapses fire as fast as ever, and you just keep going. Every morning you pop out of bed without the reminder of the 100 times you hit the ground in practice the day before and your body and mind never tire of the routine. Everyone...
ESPN Cancels Bowl Game Sponsorship Deal With Company That Does Not Seem To Exist
We can all agree that there are simply too many damn bowl games, and that a huge chunk of them only exist so that sports networks can bilk a few hundred thousand dollars out of a presenting sponsor while subjecting us all to the CarsAndCarParts.com New Jersey Turnpike Bowl, or whatever. And so it is...
The Astros Are Not In The Apology Business
“We talk internally about being on the ‘bleeding edge,’” Astros GM Jeff Luhnow told the McKinsey Quarterly in June of 2018. The exceedingly collegial two-part interview was a homecoming of sorts for Luhnow, who worked at the management consulting giant for five years before going into the baseball b...
This Is The World Series MLB Deserves
Joe Buck is about to have the most difficult day of his professional life, because unlike his Jose Altuve home run call from the American League Championship Series, he must speak....
Victorious LAFC Coach Bob Bradley Storms Off In Response To Softball Question
LAFC beat Zlatan Ibrahimović and LA Galaxy 5–3 in Thursday night’s El Tráfico, beating their rivals for the first time ever, bouncing them from the MLS playoffs, and advancing to the club’s first Western Conference final. LAFC star Carlos Vela figured prominently, scoring a pair of first-half goals ...
Astros GM Jeff Luhnow Keeps Digging And Digging
Astros general manager Jeff Luhnow came before assembled members of the press Thursday evening in D.C., to face the music for now-fired assistant GM Brandon Taubman’s locker room taunts directed at three women reporters after his team’s ALCS-clinching victory, and for the Astros publicly and falsely...
Jarvis Landry Guarantees Victory Against The Patriots, Quickly Regrets It
The 2-4 Cleveland Browns have a massively intimidating task ahead of them this Sunday, as they travel to New England to take on the undefeated Patriots. This is a team that, when they took on the league’s other remaining undefeated team in Santa Clara three weeks ago, got crushed by a score of 31-3....
Good Luck Getting Through The Sixers' Forest Of Arms
Sixers rookie Matisse Thybulle had three points, one rebound, and one assist in 22 minutes during his NBA debut Wednesday night, and yet he received a glowing postgame interview on the arena floor after his team beat the Celtics on opening night. Why? Because he threw sand in the gears of his oppone...
Alex Bregman Was So Close To Stopping Everything
It’s obviously hyperbole to say that a misplay on a tough grounder lost the Astros Game 2 of the World Series. But that six-run seventh inning from the Nationals that broke the 2-2 tie and led them to a 12-3 win was such an intense morale-sapper—for both the Houston team and the formerly rowdy crowd...
Report: Jim Boylen's Back And Sweatier Than Ever
When he was handed the reins in Chicago part way through last season, Jim Boylen did not try to be a coach so much as he tried to be an idea of a coach, the approach someone might take with a job if they simply workshopped some things they’d seen on television. He benched the entire Bulls starting l...
![MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yvdhgaxqhu32sn4bgymi.jpg)
MLB Umpire Rob Drake Is Prepared To Shoot People In Defense Of Donald Trump [Update]
Major League umpire and apparent MAGA fiend Rob Drake posted and deleted a tweet late Tuesday indicating that he would be purchasing an AR-15 semi-automatic rifle on Wednesday in order to wage “CIVAL WAR” should Congress impeach peabrain president Donald Trump. Going to go out on a limb here and ass...