ow Page 395 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Hear Me Out: Infinite-Field Baseball Games
A few weeks ago, I was reading this interview with architectural critic Paul Goldberger about baseball stadiums in America when I stumbled upon a reminder from Goldberger that doubles as a breathtaking conversation piece for stoners all across the land:...
Drake And The Raptors Both Got A Talking-To From The NBA
The Toronto Raptors will host Game 1 of the NBA Finals tonight, and there’s no doubt Drake will be sitting on the sideline. He’s behaved like an unruly dingus courtside in Toronto, blurring the lines between participant and bystander in ways that would make Spike Lee blush. Bucks coach Mike Budenhol...
Royals-White Sox Beef Gains New Life As Pitcher Tossed For Hitting Tim Anderson In The Head
The beef between White Sox shortstop and good bat-flipper Tim Anderson and the Kansas City Royals reared its ugly head again Wednesday night, when Anderson was plunked in the helmet in the second inning by Royals starter Glenn Sparkman. In an effort to get out ahead of any escalating hostility, home...
78 Seconds Of Batshit Argentine Soccer Features Violent Tackles, Tears, Unconscionable Flopping
Argentine soccer is plagued by a bullshit macho culture where the biggest sin is losing and the biggest virtue is lunging about, heedlessly throwing your body into as many opponents as possible to prove how large your testicles are. For a short clip demonstrating the anarchic, violent, dive-y style ...
Tim Tebow Chooses To Watch, Stand Fast In The Faith, And Strike Out Looking Against Position Player
When we last checked in with Tim Tebow, he was preparing for professional life full of Triple-A baseball and a personal life full of matrimonial sex. Tebow and his fiancée still haven’t officially tied the knot, so the sex is still on hold, as is the progress of his baseball career. Tebow has been e...
We've A New Contender For The Title Of Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Of All Time
The look on the face White Sox pitcher Evan Marshall, doing the catching for the ceremonial first pitch ahead of Tuesday night’s Royals-White Sox game, tells you something. That is not the expression of a man who has a lot of confidence in the person doing the hurling. That expression says this may ...
Avisaíl García Had Just The Absolute Dumbest Inside-The-Park Dinger
Avisaíl García, the disorienting ceiling at the Trop, and the atrocious eyesight of Randal Grichuk all combined to give the Rays’ DH an atypical, embarrassing, inside-the-park dong during the Toronto-Tampa game on Tuesday night. In the third inning, facing Clayton Richard, García hit a high fly int...
Antonio Brown's Unkempt Pittsburgh Lawn Is A Boon To Mother Nature, You Jerks
Mercurial superstar and occasional dick Antonio Brown was granted his trade request by the Pittsburgh Steelers and shipped to the Oakland Raiders back in early March. NFL football being the year-round occupation that it is, Brown is long gone and already participating in optional offseason workouts ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked
While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...
Mike Yastrzemski Disappoints Wife While Trying To Get To Second Base
Yet another relative of a Hall of Famer was promoted to the majors this past weekend. Mike Yastrzemski, grandson of Red Sox great Carl Yastrzemski, got the call up to join the dysfunctional Giants on Saturday, where he made his debut against the Diamondbacks. Yastrzemski finally got the first hit of...
Orioles' Keon Broxton Lost Track Of A Wall And Allowed A Pitcher To Hit A Two-Run RBI Triple
Baltimore’s trip to Coors Field has been a relative success by the realistic standards the team has likely set for themselves—Baltimore not only took one of the three games in the series, but also allowed fewer than 50 home runs during that span—so it was only a matter of time until the Orioles regr...
Drake Cuts Sweaty Promo About How Raptors Fans Are Really Good At Following The Rules
The Raptors beat the Milwaukee Bucks in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, and Drake, the Raptors’ rowdy uncle/human mascot, was not in the building. He was back home in Toronto, watching the game with thousands of Raptors fans in an outdoor square. He was so excited after the win t...
Davey Martinez's Meltdown Saved Him From Watching Yet Another Nationals Bullpen Disaster
The Nationals, sitting at 19–31 on the season and having won just one series since mid-April, very much have the look of a pile of crap. It’s not clear that the organization has accepted this as anything other than a phase, but the time is fast approaching when denial will no longer be possible. Unl...
Chris Broussard Gets In His Car, Loudly Defends Himself From Kevin Durant
At some point on Wednesday, as nationwide support for the meteor intensified, Fox Sports scoopster Chris Broussard balanced his phone on the dashboard of his car and defended himself from Kevin Durant’s attacks on his credibility. At the end of the day, this is about ethics in pettiness....
After Two Decades, Owen Hart's Death Is Still WWE's Darkest Hour
If you were a wrestling fan on May 23, 1999, you were probably doing one of three things. One of those was watching WWE’s latest pay-per-view event, Over the Edge. Another was using “scramblevision” to listen to that event by tuning a TV or VCR without a cable box to the pay-per-view channel. Some f...
The Orioles Should Consider Getting A Restraining Order Against Gleyber Torres
Gleyber Torres socked a solo dinger in the fifth inning of Wednesday’s Yankees-Orioles game, a muscular, opposite-field job that just cleared the Camden Yards scoreboard. The blast put the Yankees up 7–2; they’d go on to win 7–5. There was nothing particularly special or noteworthy about this home r...
White Sox Turn Ho-Hum, Unsatisfying Triple Play
You’d think anything as rare and unlikely as a triple play would include plenty of thrills and chills, possibly one or two spills, even the odd Phil. Back in August the Rangers turned a triple play that could be described as “pretty cool.” Last April the Mariners turned one on a brain goof that a pe...
Rich Hill, On The Shift: "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Goddammit! Fuck!"
With two down in the bottom of the first inning of Wednesday night’s Dodgers-Rays game, Rays first baseman Ji-man Choi leaned over and bunted a first-pitch fastball from Dodgers starter Rich Hill up the third baseline for a single. This worked because the Dodgers had shifted their infield to the rig...
Biased Umpire Brazenly Interferes In Fiercely Contested Anthem Standoff
I don’t know how the Miami Marlins can possibly trust the umpire crew working their Wednesday night game against the Detroit Tigers, after this blatant display of partisanship by Fieldin Culbreth during the anthem standoff between Daniel Stumpf and Sandy Alcantara....
Do Not Let The Barrage Of Mets Failures Distract You From This Mets Failure
When the Mets manage to make the covers of all three New York City–area tabloids, as they did on Tuesday morning, it is seldom because they’ve done something good. Some of that is because of how New York City’s tabloids work and most of it is because of how the Mets don’t work, but if the Mets are o...