ow Page 396 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: That Scuzzy Deal Between The Mets And Yahoo Has Not Gotten Off To A Great Start
Remember way back in February, when Yahoo and the Mets announced a new partnership that, even in an era defined by flop-sweaty digital media ideas, was particularly flop-sweaty? The idea was this: Yahoo would launch a subscription-based site covering the Mets and only the Mets, and that site would f...
Kevin Durant Still Hasn't Logged Off
Seen through the lens of his Drakification, Kevin Durant seems to have entered the “Jaded” period of his NBA career. In “Jaded,” Drake croons about an ex whom he is dismayed to see doing well without him. Durant likely feels similar watching the Warriors blow past their Western Conference opponents ...
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Cow's Long-Range Turd Hitting Its Mark
This dairy farmer knew that the cow needed to crap. You can see his hesitation as he stopped working and stood back so it could let loose. But Bessie saved him a little extra in the chamber....
Drake Has Become The Rowdy Uncle Of The Raptors
“In the Six cooking with the wrist motion,” Drake rapped prophetically in 2015. “The Six” refers to Toronto’s area code. “Wrist motion” refers to the stress relief he offered Raptors coach Nick Nurse late in their Game 4 Eastern Conference Finals win....
Pope Thrower Is The 2019 Name Of The Year
There was 1:09 left on the clock when Eli Manning, under pressure from the New England Patriots defense, hurled the football downfield. The three-time world champion Patriots, up 14-10 at the time, were defending a perfect run through the regular season and postseason. At that point, only the 1972 M...
Horribly Botched High School Track Meet Awards, Strips, Then Awards Top Runner
Last Thursday’s Iowa Class 1A boys 3,200-meter run was a wreck. A high school state track champion won a bungled race, had his gold medal stripped, and then received a new one in less than a week....
Trail Blazers In Petty Feud With Local Publication Over Powerfully Inane Blog Post
If, or more realistically, when the Portland Trail Blazers are eliminated, it will mark the end of the deepest playoff run for the franchise in almost 20 years. They should be focusing on this triumph, and what it portends for the future. Instead, the organization is picking a petty fight with a lo...
Ezekiel Elliott Knocks Over Event Staffer At EDM Festival, Gets Handcuffed
Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott got into a little scuffle with event personnel at an EDM festival in Las Vegas over the weekend. The two-minute video, published by TMZ this morning, shows Elliott following a woman and arguing with her....
It Is Time For The Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings
Three games into the Western Conference Finals, it’s time to update the Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings. Things are getting awfully tense as the Currys play hard against each other. Their mom Sonya Curry even skipped her pregame cocktail because of the stress of watching them compete. Talk abo...
Report: Former Oregon Receiver Brought Down Gunman At A Portland High School
Former Oregon receiver Keanon Lowe was able to tackle an armed student to the ground before anyone got hurt at a Portland-area high school on Friday, according to multiple reports....
Alex Rodriguez And His Lawyers Very Much Don't Want Anyone To See A Photo Of Him On The Toilet
There’s a photo of ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Yankees pariah Alex Rodriguez using a bathroom for its intended purpose. The picture was snapped from the building adjacent to A-Rod as he sat on the toilet, but there’s nothing explicit about it. The only notable details are that there’s ...
Introducing The Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings
Two games into the Western Conference Finals, it’s time to unveil the Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings. The Warriors beat the Blazers 114-111 on Thursday night, and both Currys played hard. Seth stole the ball from his big brother four times and added 16 points. Steph had 37-8-8. ...
Idiot Portsmouth Fan Arrested For Hitting Sunderland Player Who Fell Into The Stands
In the lower levels of English soccer, fans often are nasty, brutish, and short-tempered. We saw evidence of this in March when an idiot stormed the field mid-game to sucker-punch a player, and we saw even more yesterday, when a Portsmouth fan punched and kicked Sunderland’s Luke O’Nien after the pl...
Padres' Ian Kinsler Appears To Celebrate Dinger By Yelling "Fuck All You" At The Home Crowd
Ian Kinsler hit a three-run dinger in the sixth inning Thursday night to put his Padres up a run, 4–3, over the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates. That’s good, dingers are cool, who among us doesn’t get pumped and jacked by a mighty dinger? Do you want to get pumped and jacked? Feast your eyes on this suc...
What The Fuck Are The Orioles Even Trying To Do Here?
The Orioles are putting MLB on notice with a new standard of uselessness never before seen at this level of the sport. The latest example came on Thursday against Cleveland when they put together one of the worst plays in baseball history. Everything about it was wrong in a way I’ve never seen base...
The Mastermind Behind The College Admissions Scandal Used To Be A Crazy Middle School Basketball Coach
The members of a middle school basketball team that represented a Jewish Community Center in Omaha, Nebraska, were not expecting the 2001 season to be an auspicious one. The previous season had produced mediocre results, and there was no reason to expect much of an improvement going forward. That al...
Brook Lopez Leads The Bucks Over Kyle Lowry And The Raptors, Just As We All Saw Coming
In an epic matchup of global basketball superstars, Brook Lopez led his top-seeded Milwaukee Bucks over Kyle Lowry and the second-seeded Toronto Raptors, 108–100, in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Lowry led the Raptors to an early lead and kept them in front for the first three quarters, b...
Tragic Hero Trevor Cahill Pays Dearly For Runaway Ambition
Wednesday afternoon the Angels lost a close one to the Minnesota Twins, 8–7. Angels pitcher Trevor Cahill took the loss, allowing six earned runs in 4.1 innings pitched, so right there you already know it wasn’t his best day. The defining moment of Cahill’s lousy outing, and certainly the most regre...
It's Political
Tiger Woods went to the White House last week to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Donald Trump. As is the case whenever a notable celebrity willingly enters the orbit of our white supremacist president, this raised plenty of questions about Woods’s political leanings. Does he agree wit...
Umpires Delay Game To Review Reliever's Motion, Greatly Confuse Dee Gordon
Most relief pitchers good enough to last eight seasons in the Major Leagues will have careers that look roughly as bizarre as Cory Gearrin’s. Some of those relievers are closers or setup aces or multi-inning firemen types, and they’ll have a more linear lot and make more money, but for the ones livi...