ow Page 407 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What The Fuck Are The Orioles Even Trying To Do Here?
The Orioles are putting MLB on notice with a new standard of uselessness never before seen at this level of the sport. The latest example came on Thursday against Cleveland when they put together one of the worst plays in baseball history. Everything about it was wrong in a way I’ve never seen base...
The Mastermind Behind The College Admissions Scandal Used To Be A Crazy Middle School Basketball Coach
The members of a middle school basketball team that represented a Jewish Community Center in Omaha, Nebraska, were not expecting the 2001 season to be an auspicious one. The previous season had produced mediocre results, and there was no reason to expect much of an improvement going forward. That al...
Brook Lopez Leads The Bucks Over Kyle Lowry And The Raptors, Just As We All Saw Coming
In an epic matchup of global basketball superstars, Brook Lopez led his top-seeded Milwaukee Bucks over Kyle Lowry and the second-seeded Toronto Raptors, 108–100, in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Lowry led the Raptors to an early lead and kept them in front for the first three quarters, b...
Tragic Hero Trevor Cahill Pays Dearly For Runaway Ambition
Wednesday afternoon the Angels lost a close one to the Minnesota Twins, 8–7. Angels pitcher Trevor Cahill took the loss, allowing six earned runs in 4.1 innings pitched, so right there you already know it wasn’t his best day. The defining moment of Cahill’s lousy outing, and certainly the most regre...
It's Political
Tiger Woods went to the White House last week to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom from Donald Trump. As is the case whenever a notable celebrity willingly enters the orbit of our white supremacist president, this raised plenty of questions about Woods’s political leanings. Does he agree wit...
Umpires Delay Game To Review Reliever's Motion, Greatly Confuse Dee Gordon
Most relief pitchers good enough to last eight seasons in the Major Leagues will have careers that look roughly as bizarre as Cory Gearrin’s. Some of those relievers are closers or setup aces or multi-inning firemen types, and they’ll have a more linear lot and make more money, but for the ones livi...
It Is Probably Not The White Sox's Year
Let’s check in on the Chicago White Sox:...
The Raptors' Defense Was Outrageous In The Clutch
The Sixers hit their last field goal in the half-court—a long, and-one leaner by J.J. Redick—with 3:29 remaining in Game 7. Then the Raptors put the clamps on. Philly would only even hit the rim one more time, off a heroic Jimmy Butler transition play. As stagnant and deferential as the Raptors have...
Pope Thrower Vs. Jizyah Shorts Is The Name Of The Year Final
Well, we can’t say we’re surprised....
You Could Microwave A Hot Pocket In The Time It Took Zack Greinke To Throw This Damn Pitch
Zack Greinke was up against Ozzie Albies in the top of the second and had just thrown his second consecutive changeup outside of the strike zone to give the Braves batter a full count. With two men on base, Greinke didn’t want to be the one to break the 1-1 tie so he decided to be patient for his ne...
Consider Taking A Shower Before A Bath
Science says this is how you probably take a bath: You plug the drain and run the water to get it nice and hot. While the tub is filling up, maybe you put on some music, or a podcast, or even a sporting event. Perhaps you grab a beer or some wine or a book. Maybe you make some suds! That’s always fu...
Mike Francesa Might, <i>Might </i>Be Able To Name Four Players In The Nuggets-Trail Blazers Series
The Western Conference semifinal series between the Denver Nuggets and the Portland Trail Blazers has been very good. It was hectic and tight through the first four games, then Denver landed a heavy blow with a Game 5 wipeout. Thursday night the Blazers responded, surging ahead in the second quarter...
Chilean Goalkeeper Boner Proves You Should Never Tempt The Laws Of Physics
Goalkeeper boners come in all shapes, sizes, and crookedness, but sometimes, you just can’t compete with physics, as Club Deportivo Palestino goalie José Ignacio González found out on Tuesday night....
WWE Is Getting Back At The Revival for Wanting Out, And It Isn't Working
On this week’s edition of WWE’s flagship television program, Monday Night Raw, viewers were treated to a segment in which the tag team The Usos, theoretically the good guys, revealed that they had invented “Ucy Hot,” their own sweat-activated version of Icy Hot, and secretly deployed it to the trunk...
She's Got The Strength, But Who Has The Power?
JayCee Cooper was looking forward to her first sanctioned USA Powerlifting meet in her home state of Minnesota when she received word, just a month before the event, that she wouldn’t be allowed to compete....
Anthony Rendon Responds To Ejection With Facts And Logic
Nationals slugger Anthony Rendon has previously demonstrated his willingness to call out an MLB umpire over a bad call. When Marty Foster ejected Rendon for no good reason back in 2018, he lamented how there’s “no accountability” for umpires whose mistakes can be clearly seen from overhead and repla...
Dean Ambrose Is Going To Be Bleeding As Jon Moxley Again
When we last discussed Dean Ambrose in this space a few months ago, news had just broken that he had given WWE his 90-day notice and would not be renewing his contract. That Ambrose was parting with WWE was, at bottom, a sound business decision; with All Elite Wrestling and other promotions bidding ...
Orioles Fan Experiences Embarrassment, Elation, Denial, And Resignation After Interfering With Live Ball
In the bottom of the first inning of Monday’s Red Sox-Orioles game, Jonathan Villar lifted a long fly ball to left field, where J.D. Martinez tracked it to the wall. The wall seemed to sneak up on Martinez a little bit, and he was unable to make the catch, with the ball dropping and Villar racing to...
What It's Like To Get Crushed By <i>Jeopardy! </i>God James Holzhauer
James Holzhauer is one of the finest Jeopardy! contestants the world has ever seen. Through his 22 games as reigning champion, he has won $1.69 million, averaging $76,864 in winnings per episode. He appears to be a real threat to break Ken Jennings’s record of 74 straight wins, which was set in 2004...
Goalkeeper Pulls Off The Rare Cheap Shot-Flop-Red Card Trifecta
Allan McGregor, goalkeeper for Scottish Premiership club Rangers, displayed some truly astounding audacity in a match against Hibernian this weekend. Not only did he sneakily jump up and kick a Hibs player in the back in response to a minor annoyance, and not only did he fall on the ground clutching...