ow Page 488 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jesus Walked On Water; Tim Tebow Hit A Seventh-Inning Walk-Off Homer<em></em><em></em>
Freshly promoted to high Class-A baseball, Tim Tebow has been hitting the ball better than ever before. In his previous stop with the low Class-A Columbia Fireflies, he hit just .220. The former QB is hitting .326 at the moment with the St. Lucie Mets, and this evening he produced his most sanctifie...

How Frank Rich Became The Butcher Of Broadway
This story original appeared in the June, 1990 issue of GQ and appears here with the author’s permission....

KatyPerrysBootyHole And Wetbutt23 Broke The Jose Quintana Trade
The White Sox’s trade of starter Jose Quintana to the Cubs for four minor leaguers went down with remarkable secrecy, with no leaks and no rumors that the teams were even working on it. (It later emerged that Rick Hahn and Theo Epstein ducked backstage at the All-Star FanFest to talk business.) Wel...

White Sox Trade Ace José Quintana To—Oh Fucking Come On
The Chicago White Sox announced today that they have traded 28-year-old ace pitcher José Quintana to the fucking Chicago Cubs, who are basically worse than the St. Louis Cardinals at this point....

White Sox Writer Believes Team's First Half Was Not As Bad As It Could Have Been
The Chicago White Sox are 38-49; their last game before the All-Star break was a 10-0 loss to the Colorado Rockies in which they were two outs away from getting no-hit in the most hitter-friendly ballpark in the majors. The team is last in the AL Central. Pitcher José Quintana is on the trading bloc...

Here's 20 Seconds Of Profoundly Terrible Soccer
Remember this 1993 Premier League match between Queens Park Rangers and Manchester City? Me neither, but an Italian magazine broke it down and deemed a portion of it as the worst 20 seconds of soccer ever....

DeAngelo Williams Won’t Play For The Cowboys, Says Their Fans Are Insufferable
Running back DeAngelo Williams impressed wrestling fans in his debut for Impact Wrestling, but he says he’s done with the squared circle for now. With training camp rapidly approaching, Williams is looking to sign with an NFL team for the 2017 season....

MMA Reporter Ariel Helwani Says UFC Booted Him From McGregor-Mayweather Press Tour
Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather are embarking on a short world press tour to promote their very dumb fight next month, and it kicks off today in Los Angeles. UFC czar Dana White will be there, but the most prominent member of the MMA media will no longer be working the event for Showtime....

Wrestler Alberto Del Rio Part Of Police Investigation Into Possible Domestic Violence
Professional wrestler Jose Alberto Rodriguez, better known as current Global Force Wrestling Champion Alberto El Patron and formerly Alberto Del Rio in WWE, is being investigated for possible domestic violence Sunday at the Orlando International Airport. Citing witnesses who said they saw an argumen...

DeMar DeRozan Throws Ball At Referee During Pro-Am Game
Raptors star DeMar DeRozan lost his cool at the end of a Drew League pro-am game, chucking the ball at the referee before leaving the court. ...

The "Progressive Liberal" Won But Still Ended Up In A Diaper
CAMPTON, Ky.—America’s biggest wrestling event took place in a high school gym. It was the main event, a “crybaby match” between Kyle Maggard and the “Progressive Liberal” Dan Richards, who has hit upon the perfect heel gimmick for this time and this country, and especially this county....

When You Finally Get Around To Checking Out How Your Verizon Shares Are Performing
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Dak Prescott Embroiled In Football Trading Card Autograph Scandal In 2017
At least 167 real human people actually still collect football cards, according to this ESPN report, which also mentions that some number of those people received autographed Dak Prescott football cards that “may not be authentic.”...

Lonzo Ball's Summer League Debut Was A Disaster
Lonzo Ball’s much-anticipated professional basketball debut left Lakers chief Magic Johnson shaking his head, as the UCLA product went 2-15 while tripping over his feet and looking incredibly slow in a 96-93 overtime loss to the Clippers. Time for some lowlights!...

Samoa Joe Can't Be Stopped
Eight years ago and counting, Samoa Joe was done—or at least it seemed that way....

Poor Bastard Whiffs On Rafael Nadal's Second Serve
World No. 34 Karen Khachanov fought his way through two tough matches in Wimbledon’s early rounds (a total of nine sets, three of which were tiebreaks) only to earn himself a third-round date with Rafael Nadal....

Dirk Nowitzki Will Continue To Hang With The Mavericks
ESPN’s Tim MacMahon is reporting that the Dallas Mavericks are about to finish up a two-year, $10 million contract (with a team option for the second year) that will continue to keep 39-year-old Dirk Nowitzki, the greatest player in franchise history, on the only NBA team he’s ever played for. It’s ...

SB Nation Blogger Removed From Masthead Following Deletion Of Bad Post
On Tuesday night, the editor of SLC Dunk, SB Nation’s Utah Jazz blog, posted an article about Gordon Hayward signing with the Boston Celtics. The post contained two attempted jokes that came off as homophobic, and it was deleted following the appendage of two lengthy editor’s notes. Now it appears t...

There Is Nothing CNN Can’t Fuck Up <em></em>
By now, you know the saga of the Trump CNN tweet: a clumsy wrestling .gif the president sent out (with no hat tip!) that triggered the usual round of establishment tut-tutting and, at first, promised to be yet another disposable Trump mini-scandal that occupied everyone for two minutes before moving...

Dion Waiters Is Rich Now And I've Been Brutally Owned
A little over one year ago, I wrote a blog post about Dion Waiters signing with the Miami Heat on a one-year, $2.9 million deal after turning down a qualifying offer worth $6.8 million from the Thunder. That blog had a shit-eating grin of a headline—Dion Waiters Handled His Free Agency Like He Handl...