ow Page 621 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Is This Jabroni Who'll Be Wrestling At Citi Field?
The one between Ric Flair and Hacksaw Jim Duggan—who is that dude? [Update: An answer.]...

Local News Anchor Has Thoughts About Lady Gaga's "Jigaboo Music"
Ohio news anchor Kristi Capel was trying to compliment Lady Gaga here, but she somehow was unable to get through her brief thought without saying something racist. The poor guy next to her knows exactly what just happened, even if she doesn't....

How To Make Soft-Boiled Eggs: A Minute To Learn, Two Minutes To Master
The weird thing about soft-boiled eggs is the widespread misconception that they're so much trickier to make than their hard-boiled brethren. Done right, they're really not much trickier at all. Easier than stuffing 1,200 words of padding into an instructional blog post about making them, that's for...

Do Not Try And Take A Charge From DeMarcus Cousins
If you look closely, you can see Jae Crowder regret his decision to try and take a charge from a DeMarcus Cousins with 94 feet of built-up momentum, and begin to lean away to the side. Unfortunately, that doesn't prevent him from getting a knee to his chest, or the ball viciously dunked on his head....

There's A Rumor About Some Sort Of Dez Bryant Video
Dez Bryant will soon be a free agent, after the receiver failed to agree to a new contract with the Cowboys. Why would the team be so hesitant in locking up one of the best pass-catching threats in the league? If you believe rumors, Bryant did something on video that's bad, but no media outlet's act...

Closed Captioning Goes Insane During Fox NASCAR Broadcast
Reader Doug noticed last night that the closed captioning for Fox Sports 1's NASCAR broadcast "seemed to be drunk." Sure enough, midway through the second race at Daytona the captioning suddenly started spitting out repeated misspellings of various MLB stars' names. This went on for more than five m...

Peter Vecsey Calls Woman An "Ignorant Slut" On Twitter
Earlier this week, Charles Barkley went on the radio and called longtime NBA writer and analyst Peter Vecsey a scumbag. Pete took to Twitter today to fire back at Barkley, and then he lost his mind and called a woman a slut....

How To Throw, And Survive, A Six-Year-Old's Birthday Party
You can get away with the extended-family-plus-cake setup for your kid's first, oh, four or even five birthdays. Sure, you might invite one or two chums from preschool or the neighborhood, or the close-in-age cousins, but really: So long as there are candles to blow out, cake to eat, presents to...

CNN's Don Lemon Says "Bullshit" On-Air, Offers Ridiculous Apology
Human moron and CNN personality Don Lemon has a lot to atone for, but his use of "bullshit" on-air tonight while talking to Reliable Sources host Brian Stelter isn't one of them. That didn't stop the drooling idiot from profusely apologizing for saying the word—he was quoting Bill O'Reilly, anyway—o...

Bobby Knight Requests You Sit The Hell Down
"Hey, boys! Have a seat! Have a seat!"...

How To Quit Your Job To Be A Better Feminist (And Parent)
Four years ago, I quit my high-profile, lucrative law job. ...

Alabama News Station Reports That Water Freezes When It's Cold
Okay, yes, this is an incredibly silly thing to base a news report on, but please try to remember that these people live in Huntsville, Ala., where the current temperature being 20 degrees is probably making a lot of residents feel like they have been transported to some strange ice planet. It's a c...

Celebrate Throwback Thursday With A Heartwarming 9/11 Memory
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Jay Williams Misremembers Playing Duke-UNC Game Against Vince Carter
Jay Williams attempted to explain the experience of playing in a Duke-UNC rivalry game to ESPN's audience tonight, though in his attempt to name-drop some of the Tar Heels players he faced as a member of the Blue Devils, he mentioned Vince Carter—a player who was already in the NBA by the time Willi...

Your Computer Is Filthy. Why Won't You Clean It?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Work Hard, Blot: Lipstick And The Fifth-Fastest Indoor Mile Ever
Dammit people, put down the fatty and pay attention to women's middle distance track. U.S. women are killing it on a global scale. Take Shannon Rowbury, above: Already a two-time Olympian and lotta-time World Championship finalist, she broke from the gate this year and laid down a 4:22.66 mile at ...

Q&A: Nathan, A Bloodhound That Did Not Win The Westminster Dog Show
Another year, another February; another parade of dogs coming to a gray and bitter New York in hopes of winning the big ribbon at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Of all this year's upsets, few were as touching as the toppling of Flessner's International S'Cess, a handsome bloodhound from Mar...


Middle School Basketball Team Loses In Heartbreaking Fashion
These eighth-graders learned a very important lesson yesterday: life isn't remotely fair. If you lose a game because of missing a game-winning shot, okay, but losing because the ball gets stuck on the rim, triggering a jump ball with 0.0 seconds left? That's just cruel. The kid lying on the floor ...