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![Gronk's Sloppily Chugging Beer At The Super Bowl Parade [Updates]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/w8kmjacvhsxibgvgha98.jpg)
Gronk's Sloppily Chugging Beer At The Super Bowl Parade [Updates]
The Patriots are parading through Boston today, and walking beer pong tournament Rob Gronkowski is enjoying the festivities by wearing a children's hat and inefficiently putting beer in his mouth....
The Denver Nuggets Are A Burning Clown Car Plunging Into A Gorge
The Denver Nuggets have lost 10 of their last 11 games; last night, they trailed the putrid 76ers by as many as 28 points before cobbling together enough dignity to make the final score look competitive. They're 19-30 at the moment, 11th in the stacked West, and 8.5 games out of the final playoff s...
How To Not Get Shot To Death By A Police Officer
If you're reading this, congrats! You're definitely alive, and you're probably not being stopped or shot to death by a police officer at this very moment. This is half the battle. Now the hard part: If you're alive, there's a chance you'll get stopped by a police officer before you die, and if you...
Listen To Pete Carroll And Tom Brady React To Game-Ending Interception
Inside the NFL aired last night, and among those mic'd up were Seahawks coach Pete Carroll and Patriots QB Tom Brady. And let's just cut to the part we all came for: the noises each made when Malcolm Butler picked off Russell Wilson to steal the championship for New England....
Russell Wilson Thought He Had It
You look at it again and again, on video taken from the field, in a still image from above, and you still can't quite grasp how it played out the way it did. Ricardo Lockette seemed wide open. Russell Wilson, his view screened by Brandon Browner standing up Jermaine Kearse (an absolutely vital condi...
What In The World Was DeMarcus Cousins Thinking On This Inbounds?
Did he think he was on offense? Did he think the Warriors were shooting on the other basket? Did he think the ball was being inbounded from behind him? Did he think he was guarding somebody who hadn't yet walked onto the court? Sometimes players make the wrong decision on defense, or react too slo...
Josh Gordon Officially Suspended By NFL For "At Least" A Season
It was inevitable once Adam Schefter reported that Josh Gordon had tested positive for alcohol, but today the NFL made it official: Gordon is suspended for the entirety of the 2015 football season. The Browns released a statement confirming the suspension—which is without pay and for "at least one y...
This Is The Best Angle Yet Of Malcolm Butler's Incredible Interception
I have no idea who took this video of Malcolm Butler's Super Bowl-winning interception, but I am very glad that it exists....
Your January Transfer Window Roundup
Another January past, and another transfer window closes as the rumor mill, hype machine, and hope-mongering all come to screeching halts. For a little while, at least. But this window did have some fascinating moves, so let's take the opportunity to break down all the transfers that caught our eye...
Why Nationwide Loves Its Dead-Kid Ad
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering Gronk, warring with Canada, caveman masturbation, and more....
Dan Patrick Calls Out Colin Cowherd For Having "ESPN Muscles"
ESPN radio host and frenulum with eyes Colin Cowherd really likes to waste air time on his show by letting everyone know what a savvy sports radio veteran he is. Yesterday, he went on one of his rants about what it takes to make it in "this business," and while doing so talked some shit about Dan Pa...
NBC Director Cut Away From Ball-Pooping Celebration To Protect Us
On Sunday, Doug Baldwin celebrated his touchdown to put the Seahawks up 24-14 by pooping the football. (Seattle never scored again. Curse of the poopball? Hmmmm.) Only, the dozens of millions of people watching at home never saw it, because NBC abruptly cut away....
Chris Pratt Photobombed Super Bowl Fans With A Sandwich Dick
Jimmy Fallon roped Chris Pratt and Chris Evans into a goofy bit where they snuck around and photobombed Super Bowl fans on some sort of red carpet. The results are actually pretty funny, but no moment was more inspired than Pratt busting out the sandwich dick. The sandwich dick always plays....
How To Drive In The Snow, In A Regular-Ass Car, Without Freaking Out
First, a tale....
Last Night's Clippers-Nets Game Set A Record For Free Throw Futility
If you were fortunate enough to be in attendance at Barclays Center for last evening's Clippers-Nets matchup, you witnessed history. The two teams combined to miss 27 of their 43 free throws, which set an all-time NBA record for failure at the charity stripe. We're pulling a deep cut for this one, w...
Pete Carroll Denies Reports That He Changed Seahawks' Final Play
Pete Carroll, who subscribes to one of the more explosive conspiracy theories out there, categorically denies any truth to the conspiracy theory that the Seahawks' desire to make a Super Bowl hero out of Russell Wilson and not Marshawn Lynch led him to overrule the fateful playcall....
Let's Watch Gronk Read A Sexy Passage From The Gronk Erotica
Rob Gronkowski made the expected visit to Jimmy Kimmel's television program tonight, and after admitting that he "hadn't read a book since the ninth grade" (claiming it was, uh, A Mockingbird To Remember), the Super Bowl champion tight end read a bit from the erotica novel written about him....
This Is The Saddest Hockey Pass Ever
"Corrado, the unorthodox breakout play."...
This TV Moment With Anthony Davis Isn't Strange Or Anything
Viewers watching NBA TV's broadcast (via a Fox Sports affiliate) of tonight's Hawks-Pelicans game—one that finally broke Atlanta's win streak—got a special EXTREME CLOSEUP of New Orleans star Anthony Davis's face. The Vine is even better to show your children:...