ow Page 657 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Local TV Tries To Cover Shellshock Bug, Fails Miserably
With news breaking yesterday of a potentially catastrophic bug in the Bash shell since dubbed "Shellshock," media outlets rushed to breathlessly tell viewers about their newly hackable Apple computers. In that rush, they almost universally got the facts wrong....

The Sports Guy Vs. ESPN: How Bill Simmons Lost Bristol
It was, he would later tell a confidant, like something out of The Godfather. Bill Simmons was meeting with two of the most powerful executives at ESPN, John Skipper and John Walsh, in a conference room in ESPN’s then-unfinished Los Angeles office hard by the Staples Center. Within three years, thi...

How To Be A Soccer Fan
Towards the tail end of this past World Cup, more than a few readers emailed us looking for guidance on how to become a soccer fan. Never ones to disappoint our adoring readership, we've now obliged. Here's how we imagine that conversation would go....

Steve Smith Warned Of "Blood And Guts," And DeAngelo Williams Is Ready
The Ravens and Panthers play this Sunday, which means that Ravens receiver Steve Smith, who was released by the Panthers in the offseason, will be facing his old team for the first time. If you know anything about Steve Smith, you shouldn't be surprised to learn that he started his shit-talking earl...

Head On A Swivel
If you didn't watch UCLA wallop Arizona State last night, here is the game in its entirety:...

We Now Go Live To Hunter Pence's Dirty, Dirty Mouth
CSN Bay Area brought San Francisco fans the breadth of celebration live from the Giants' clubhouse tonight as they claimed a spot in the postseason. Part of that coverage was an extremely foul-mouthed, and unbleeped, speech by Hunter Pence....

<i>The Daily Show</i> Goes In On Redskins Name Controversy
The Daily Show found itself in a bit of hot water recently when it filmed a piece on the controversy surrounding the name of the Washington football team, which you can watch above. Before the segment aired, however, Jon Stewart addressed the incident and explained why The Daily Show stood behind ...

This Church Song-And-Dance Is The Most Excruciating Thing I've Ever Seen
Oh God. Ohhhhh God. I hurt all over. I hurt all over and I want to die....

How Do Other Notable ESPN Suspensions Compare With Bill Simmons's?
ESPN dropped a three-week suspension TV personality and Grantland honcho Bill Simmons last night, somehow working that large stick even deeper into its collective anus. How does Simmons's punishment compare with other notable suspensions handed down by the ever-suspension-happy ESPN in the past?...

Alleged Striker Fails To Score Easiest Goal Ever
Philipp Hofmann of Kaiserslautern could've done anything else with the ball here and scored. He could've barely tapped it in almost any direction and it would've gone in. He could've tripped over in his wind-up and his face would've bungled it in. His only job was not to do exactly what he did....

Steve Ballmer Will Institute A No-Apple Policy For The Clippers
New Clippers owner Steve Ballmer is a Microsoft loyalist who joined the company in 1980 as its 30th employee. He's so loyal that he refuses to use anything created by Apple—he does not like Apple, man—and now it appears his personal policy is becoming his team's....

Two People With Nothing To Say About Sean Taylor
Sean Taylor: A Football Life will air tomorrow night on the NFL Network, and will chronicle the life and death of Taylor, who was fatally shot by burglars during a home invasion on Nov. 26, 2007. There is no better time—though there is no bad time—to remind you of the sneering and altogether shithea...

Mike Moustakas Catches Woman's Face Instead Of Foul Ball
One of the best things about baseball is that fans sit precisely zero feet away from the field. It's not great because fans get to watch the action from up close (though that's pretty cool too), but because fans get to be part of the action. That's what happened to this poor Indians fan in Wednesday...

ESPN Suspends Bill Simmons Three Weeks Over Goodell Criticism
Bill Simmons practically begged ESPN to suspend him, and the oafish and epically tight-assed media behemoth did just that Wednesday night, giving him three weeks for coming to the same conclusion about NFL commissioner Roger Goodell that just about everyone in the thinking public has....

Chris Sale Plunks Victor Martinez, Sparks Bench-Clearing Conversation
White Sox pitcher Chris Sale hit Victor Martinez in the sixth inning of today's game, causing both benches and bullpens to clear, though no one actually did anything. Why did Sale tag Martinez? The current best theory: Sale thought Martinez was stealing signs with the help of someone in the bullpen....

<em>Destiny</em> Needs More Peter Dinklage, Less Of Everything Else
My beloved Oakland A's are shitting the bed. One minute they're the toast of baseball— with the game's best record, its highest run differential, its best pitching staff—and the next they look like the Washington Generals, playing well under .500 ball since the All-Star break and struggling now to...

The Problem With Peter King
Let’s begin with Peter King on Twitter last night. If you hate-follow poor Peter on Twitter, as I do, you know that his stream consists largely of mangled replies and random compliments to entire towns—Helluva main street you got there, Hanover, New Hampshire!—and last night was no different. The S...

Morris Claiborne Stormed Out Of Cowboys Practice After Being Demoted
The Cowboys' disappointment with 2012 sixth overall pick Morris Claiborne reached a head yesterday, when the cornerback skipped practice and angrily left the team's training facility after being informed that he was losing his spot in the starting lineup....

Greek Soccer Team's Manager Gets Way Too Turnt During Press Conference
If there was one thing you could say about Gennaro Gattuso, AC Milan's and Italy's fiery former leader, it was that the man was a lock for a manager job when he retired. If there was another thing you could say, it was that said managerial career would involve numerous public blow-ups like this....

Paula Deen Wint Awn <em>The T'Day Show</em>, Is Still Grosser 'N Shit, Yawl
Crazy-eyed butter-marm Paula Deen took to The Today Show this morning, ostensibly to talk about life lessons and learnin' from mah mistakes, yawl and other such nonsense, but really to promote her dumber-than-hell ill-conceived new subscription-based online network. ...