ow Page 690 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Welington Castillo Took A Foul Ball Right To The Dick
Happy Opening Day, Welington Castillo. Sorry about your nards....
Columnist Angry At The Imaginary Murders DeSean Jackson Has Witnessed
You thought Phil Mushnick couldn't get any more Mushnick on your ass than he already has? Ohhhh, people. Oh, how you underestimate that cagey old fucker. Because today, Mushnick hopped into the Andy Rooney machine and set it to Full Bushy Eyebrow. Join me as he carefully evaluates the plight of ...
Dick Vitale GIF Better Sans Context
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Rob Gronkowski Wears Glasses, Isn't Fooling Anyone
Rob Gronkowski—a human abnormality whose body is 60% malt beverage—is now wearing glasses, for some reason. You look like Scuba Steve, Gronk. Try a slimmer pair....
Steven Stamkos Scores On His Own Empty Net During Delayed Penalty
Though the Tampa Bay Lightning were on a delayed penalty, they still somehow surrendered a goal last night. Steven Stamkos is a scoring machine that doesn't have time to distinguish nets, dammit....
Defender Kicks In Own Goal Off Goalkeeper's Face
Own goals are, by definition, bad, but this own goal in a Bundesliga matchup between Mainz and Augsburg is really, really bad. Augsburg goalkeeper Marwin Hitz made a glancing save on the initial shot from Mainz, but the ball hit off the post and trickled back in front of the net. So, trying to clear...
How To Fry Brussels Sprouts, And Learn To Love Them At Last
You think of Brussels sprouts and you think of misery. When you were a kid, some damn do-gooder grownup nuked a frozen bag of them in the microwave , and scooped a bunch of them onto your plate next to your delicious SpaghettiOs, and laid some bullshit on you about how eating them would make you gro...
Best Ever: The Making Of "What Do You Think Of Ted Williams Now?"
This piece originally appeared in the eighth issue of The Classical Magazine. It is reprinted here with permission. ...
There Are Already Dumb Things Being Written About Yasiel Puig
This has to be some kind of record. The Los Angeles Dodgers are just two official games into the season, and the Los Angeles Times' Bill Plaschke has already fired off his first "Yasiel Puig is tearing this team apart!" column of the year. It doesn't make any damn sense....
A Breakdown Of The NFL's New Rules, And The Ones That Didn't Pass
At the NFL meetings in Orlando, the league's owners voted on a number of proposals. The highlight: it looks like we're closer to longer, harder PATs. Here's a rundown of the NFL's rule changes, and the ones that didn't quite make it....
This Is The Definitive Highlight Of Nick Young's Career
It should be noted that Swaggy P had a great game last night. In 19 minutes off the bench, he scored 20 points on 6-of-10 shooting and grabbed four rebounds. The Lakers also demolished the Knicks last night, scoring 51 points in the third quarter alone. So if there was ever a time for Swaggy to get...
Real-Life Kenny Powers Spotted
"I found the Latino Kenny Powers," is an inaccurate caption for this photo, because regardless of race, the dude looks like Kenny Powers. ...
The End Of Arsenal's Premier League Title Hopes, On An Infinite Loop
Sky's still blue....
Shaka Smart-To-Marquette Reports Came From Student Journalist
The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel now tells us Shaka Smart is not likely to take the head basketball coaching position at Marquette. Why, then, were TV stations in Milwaukee all breathlessly reporting the breaking news that he'd be the new leader of the Golden Eagles? A source inside one of those newsr...
Nancy Grace Derails Oscar Pistorius Analysis With Porn Obsession
An otherwise serious discussion of the Oscar Pistorius murder trial on Good Morning America today barely managed to finish without Nancy Grace hijacking it to talk about the amputee sprinter's porn habits....
Bob Knight Can't Stay Away From The Rape Metaphors
Bob Knight, who famously told Connie Chung in 1988 that ''if rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy it,'' once again went to the well of sexual assault-themed metaphors on Mike & Mike today....
Shaka Smart Not Actually Marquette's New Coach, Despite TV Reports
Here's a sampling of Milwaukee newscasts from this evening. They all assert that current VCU head basketball coach Shaka Smart is taking over for Buzz Williams at Marquette. One problem: that's not true. ...
Watch A Couple Of Guys B.A.S.E. Jump Off NYC's Freedom Tower
The Freedom Tower is the tallest skyscraper in the Western Hemisphere and these two dudes just jumped off it. The video was filmed in September of last year—and appears to be the black-clad parachutists who landed near the Goldman Sachs building September 30, 2013 and then vanished—but was just upl...
The Rise And Fall Of Professional Bowling
Check out this fun post on the rise and fall of professional bowling by Zachary Crockett over at Priceonomics:...