ow Page 777 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Theo Walcott Just Scored The Fastest Goal Of The Premier League Season
Arsenal is playing Queens Park Rangers this afternoon in an important match for the Gunners. Just before kickoff, bitter rivals Spurs pulled ahead of Arsenal thanks to a late winner from the Premier League player of the year, Gareth Bale. Bale's goal made Arsenal's match against QPR a must-win conte...

How To Make Crab Cakes That Actually Taste Like Crab
The first step is preheating your oven. Yes, that's right: not your deep-fryer, not your skillet, but your oven. Because you are going to bake your crab cakes....

Help! The Goddamn Cat Peed On My Loafers
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

ESPN Blunder Leads To Amazing Bob Ley Moment
Bob Ley is the cornerstone of ESPN's journalism credibility. His role at the helm of Outside The Lines has established him as a trusted voice in news, which is why this crazy moment is so very precious....

Corey Brewer Does Everything Wrong In 14 Seconds
Here are three things you don't want to do when you are a career 29-percent shooter from three-point range and you are playing in the last 14 seconds of the third quarter of an elimination playoff game:...

<em>Iron Man 3</em>, Reviewed.
1. Other than that terrible Todd Phillips-Zach Galifianakis comedy Due Date, Robert Downey Jr. hasn't played a character other than Tony Stark or Sherlock Holmes in four years. Of all the actors who could have ended up settling into tentpole action star roles? Downey? I caught Robert Altman's Short...

This High School Water Polo Player Is A Very Sore Loser
What you are looking at are members of the St. Thomas Aquinas and Belen Jesuit water polo teams lining up to shake hands after their state championship match in Miami. What you are also looking at is one of the Belen players deciding to go out with a flourish....

Gerald Wallace Badly Misses Uncontested Layup
Actually, if you're keeping score at home, Wallace has a possession for the ages here: He misses a jumper, fails to use the backboard as he misfires on the bunny, and then he gets whistled for a travel because he caught his own airball. This clip belongs in Springfield....

Reggie Miller Saying "Shit" On TV Is The Least Offensive Part Of This
A.J. Clemente cursed and got fired. Susannah Collins said "sex" and got fired. TNT analyst Reggie Miller said "shit" tonight while giving a sappy post-game speech to the victorious Golden State Warriors, and we hope he gets fired—but not because he said "shit."...

CSN Chicago Fires Susannah "Tremendous Amount Of Sex" Collins
CSN Chicago announced the departure of reporter Susannah Collins tonight, two days after her on-air slip-up during which she said the Blackhawks had "a tremendous amount of sex."...

Sad Tebow In A Parking Lot Is The New Tebowing
We're not sure when this photo was taken, since the Denver Post just posted it to Facebook. You know what to do, Internet. ...

This Editorial Defending The Redskins' Name Is Just So Goddamn Dumb
The Washington Times decided to publish an editorial titled "Hail to the Redtails?" in which some moron tries to argue that changing the name of the Washington Redskins is a bad idea. It contains two of the dumbest sentences in the history of written language....

Julio Borbon Desperately Wants You To Think He Was Hit By This Pitch
It really is a gripping performance. You have to respect how thoroughly Borbon commits himself to the act, even taking time to bend over in faux agony as the plate umpire tries to explain to Dale Sveum that the ball was a good two feet from touching Borbon. Bravo, Julio....

How Frank Isola Became The Most Hated Man At Madison Square Garden
Frank Isola started on the Knicks beat for the New York Daily News in the fall of 1996, when he was 29 years old. Now, at 46, he has been covering the team longer than anyone else....

Robert Guerrero's Dad Goes Off Script, Calls Mayweather "Woman Beater"
The firm doing PR for Saturday night's Floyd Mayweather Jr.-Robert Guerrero fight emailed us the quotes from yesterday's pre-fight press conference in Vegas. That helpful little guide said the fighters' fathers had "nearly come to blows," but it left out all the fun stuff....

Philly Newspaper Headline Makes Offensive Team Name More Offensive
Today's back page of the Philadelphia Daily News. Come for the pun about Roy Halladay's latest implosion, stay for the ethnic slur in 72-point font....

Snakebite Victim's Post-Surgery Foot Is Still Horrifying (NSFW)
You shouldn't have looked the first time. We told you not to look, but you looked anyway. You shouldn't look this time, either. Because guess what? When you suffer the most horrific snake bite of all time, that shit is still going to look gross as fuck even after surgery. Disgusting NSFW photo after...

Why ESPN's Chris Broussard Came Out As A Bigot
Outside the Lines is supposed to be the safe haven from all the bullshit. Bob Ley likes to call the show the Switzerland of ESPN. It's the thinking man's sports program—Bristol's answer to NewsHour. Sonorous reporters intoning Serious News. An air of calm, cool reflection about the issues of the day...

Child Porn, Pervert Photos, And Other Things TV News Got Wrong In April
We Regret The Error is a monthly feature in which we compile TV news mistakes and the subsequent boilerplate apologies. Here's everything we could find from the month of April....

The Yellow Pages
The Elements of Style according to Jack Mann....