ow Page 796 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Phil Mickelson Fell Down
In the unquestionable sports highlight of this or any year, Phil Mickelson fell on his ass today while trying to find a golf ball at Pebble Beach....

To Avoid Criticism, Shabazz Muhammad Must Collapse With Joy When His Team Wins
Shabazz Muhammad is proving a good canary in the coal mine for figuring out if we've dispensed with the superstar-athlete-doesn't-care-about-team-play concern trolling as we've grown more sophisticated about the complexity of the NCAA and the intellectual laziness of humping tired sports cliches. We...

How To Make A Pasta With Anchovies (And Other Stuff): A Guide For The Unafraid
It's pasta time! We'll do a simple pasta preparation, oh, once a month or so, because they're a nice respite from braising a pork shoulder for a month and whisking butter for the entirety of human history, and because pasta is a fun, cheap, quick way to whip up something unreasonably tasty and then ...

After 22,987 Minutes Of Unemployment, 6,899 Minutes Of Employment, And Another 15,659 Minutes Of Unemployment, Rob Ryan Has Signed On With The Saints
Initial firing confirmed at 4:54 p.m., Jan. 8:...

Red Alert: Jim Nantz Compromised, Hacked E-Mails Contain The Whitest Sentence On Record
When a hacker found his way into our 41st and 43rd presidents' personal e-mail accounts, exposing records of correspondence among the former leaders of the free world as well as George W. Bush's haunting paintings of himself bathing, we all had a good laugh. Unfortunately, the hack had some collater...

This Bro Skiied Through An Abandoned Five-Story Building In Alaska
Why is there an abandoned, haunted five-story government building in Whittier, Alaska? Oh, hell, who cares? It's snowing....

Chris Berman Can't. Get. All. The. Way. Out Of This Sand Trap
The 2013 AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am got underway yesterday, and ESPN's Chris Berman is a participant. We're not sure what Berman's position on the leaderboard is, but if this sequence is any indication of how he's been playing, he can't be doing too well. Come for the rage-inflected look of...

Louisiana Hates Snow, Is A Buzzkill
Remember Patriots-Raiders in 2001? The Snowplow Game? Dolphins-Cowboys on Thanksgiving 1993? A bunch of games from the 1940s and 50s that most of us weren't alive for? Snow games might be low scoring, but they are awesome, and people want more of them....

Who Is The Least Stupid Pundit Of The Last Four NFL Seasons? Updating The Pundit Rankings
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com...

Roundup: The Best Beyoncé Photoshop Contest Submissions
We knew that a Beyoncé-themed Photoshop contest would yield hilarious results, and you guys did not disappoint us. Here are the best of your submissions. ...

This Photo Of The Georgetown And Butler Bulldogs Is Just The Cutest Goddamn Thing
The Georgetown Hoyas and Butler Bulldogs each have a pair of adorable bulldog mascots. Today, Georgetown Jack and Georgetown Jack Jr. welcomed Butler Blue 2 and Bulter Blue 3 (Butler Blue 1 is apparently dead retired. Sad face.) to their campus for a summit of adorability. That's how we got the pic...

Some Duke Fans Chanted "How's Your Grandma?" At A Player Whose Grandma Just Died
There was some world-class jagoffery going on in the Duke student section during last night's N.C. State-Duke game. In the second half, N.C. State guard Tyler Lewis stepped to the free-throw line and was reportedly greeted by a chant of, "How's your grandma?" from the Cameron Crazies. Lewis's gran...

Jim Harbaugh Still Wants Penalties Called, Even If It's Late In The Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The 49ers coach is still hung up on that holding no-call....

Terrell Suggs Tells Skip Bayless He's "Graduated From Douchebag To Dirtbag" In <em>First Take</em>'s ESPN Debut
Last year, Terrell Suggs called Skip Bayless a douchebag, a great TV moment that made up for what it lacked in verbal majesty with a certain frankness of expression. Today, First Take debuted its new half-hour live edition for ESPN. Apparently the suits in Bristol are so worked up about the show a...

Photoshop Contest: Unflattering Beyoncé Pictures
Beyoncé performed during halftime at the Super Bowl this year. You may have heard about this. Beyoncé's performance was so captivating that the internet is still buzzing about it, although much of that buzz has to do with some pictures of Beyoncé that some consider to be unflattering. You know what...

Rob Gronkowski, Porn Star?
The Summer of Gronk, Part II, might be less than three weeks old, but it's already so far along that Gronkshaming has become a thing. So where can it go from here? Why not porn! A porn company has offered Gronk $3.75 million—the equivalent of his 2014 salary—to record a scene with his friend BiBi Jo...

The Killer Ex-LAPD Cop's Manifesto Has Advice For Tim Tebow
Christoper Jordan Dorner, the former LAPD officer suspected of killing three people and wounding two others, is still on the run. Local and federal law enforcement are conducting a massive manhunt for Dorner, who has been targeting cops as revenge for his firing from the force. Earlier this week he ...

<em>Winnipeg Sun</em> Publishes Unintentionally Brilliant Pie Chart About Super Bowl
I wasn't aware newspapers still did these "readers sound off" flash polls anymore. But apparently they do, especially when a Super Bowl-sized event happens and captures the attention of Winnipeg. The readers of the Winnipeg Sun clearly have lots of great opinions about the Super Bowl....

Joe Flacco Was Ready To Leave The Sideline And Tackle Ted Ginn On The Super Bowl's Last Play
How does a quarterback, helpless on the sidelines, deal with being on the brink of their first Super Bowl win? Tom Brady turned away, unable to watch. Eli Manning was giddy, probably planning to ride the Teacups over and over again. Joe Flacco? He was planning to cheat. Maybe he is elite....

Map: Which Parts Of The Country Were Calling Ray Lewis A Murderer During The Super Bowl?
The map above shows the concentration of geolocated tweets sent during the Super Bowl that contained both the words "Lewis" and "murder." We were looking for references to Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis, who in 2000 was charged with murder in the stabbing deaths of two men after an Atlanta Su...