ow Page 811 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here Is The Police Report For The Sexual Assault Allegation Against Two University Of Texas Football Players

There have been no arrests, and the subjects of the investigation have not been identified by police, but Mack Brown has suspended quarterback Case McCoy and linebacker Jordan Hicks for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State, according to what sources told 247 Sports' Bobby Burton. Brown sa...

Do You Have To Be Physically Fit To Drive A Race Car?

You know what question I get asked most as a racecar driver? No, not, "Do you get scared?" and, amazingly, not even, "How fast does your car go?" The most commonly asked question is, "Why do you have to be fit to drive a racecar? All you do is sit down and turn a wheel?"...

Everything You Need To Know About New Browns Quarterback Thad "The Champ" Lewis

Per Mary Kay Cabot, Browns head coach until Monday Pat Shurmur announced today that third-string quarterback Thad Lewis would start against the Steelers in Week 17, as Brandon Weeden and Colt McCoy are terrible "dealing with injuries." Lewis will be the Browns' 18th starting quarterback since 1999,...

ESPN's Lomas Brown Says He Didn't Send All Those Insulting Tweets Sent By Lomas Brown

He's just shocked—shocked!—at what happened the other day, at least now that someone's finally noticed it. Brown's response here only prompts additional questions: Does someone else do his tweeting for him? (If so, this person is awfully prolific.) Does Brown ordinarily approve every tweet before th...

UFC 155: The Clumsy Marketing Of Cain Velasquez, UFC's Brown Ambassador

For a long time, Cain Velasquez, who will fight Junior Dos Santos for the UFC heavyweight title on Saturday, was a rumor. He trained in one of the world's best camps, in San Jose, Calif., and stories would filter out about his freak inexhaustibility, about how he would spar with good stand-up fighte...

Two University of Texas Football Players Accused Of Sexually Assaulting A Woman [UPDATED]

The players have neither been arrested nor charged with a crime, and police have not released their names. An investigation is taking place, but here are the details from KENS in San Antonio, where the Longhorns are staying as they prepare for Saturday's Alamo Bowl game against Oregon State:...

Duke's Punter Kicked A Ball 79 Yards In The Belk Bowl

One week after being named to Phil Steele's Freshman All-America list, Duke punter Will Monday showed the world why Blue Devils fans have a reason to be excited at the prospect of a fourth-and-long. In the second quarter of tonight's Belk Bowl matchup against Cincinnati, Monday booted a ball that ...

Bristolmetrics: <em>SportsCenter</em> Poops All Over Mark Sanchez

This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

How To Have Sex In Any Kind Of Car

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that a safe 102% of the readers of this site are fans of both cars and a vast and disgusting variety of sexual acts. And that's great. My stand on cars is well established (quite pro) and when it comes to sex, I can't think of a more enjoyable way to get the max...

Mark Sanchez Is Once Again The Starting Quarterback For The New York Jets

Last we checked in on the Jets' quarterbacking situation, Tim Tebow was a coddled malcontent who just wanted "to play regular quarterback." This came after Mark Sanchez, the man who permanently eliminated "poise" from the NFL lexicon, turned it over five times against Tennessee and was benched for S...

ESPN's Lomas Brown Spent His Christmas Insulting People On Twitter

Former Lions lineman Lomas Brown has been getting a ton of shit from people since admitting the other day he once deliberately allowed quarterback Scott Mitchell to get injured during a game. Though we never realized it until the Mitchell story got out, Brown is an ESPN analyst. But then we looked i...

USC Was Way Late For The Sun Bowl Dinner, So Georgia Tech Got Pissed And Left

You think USC is excited to be spending New Year's Eve in El Paso, Texas, playing Georgia Tech in the Sun Bowl? Oh, sure, Lane Kiffin might have arrived yesterday wearing a sombrero and something less than a smile, but two Trojans players have already apologized for insulting the city, and now the e...

The Year's Most Insipid Political Gesture, Courtesy Of Former Sonics Owner Howard Schultz

If you buy coffee at a Starbucks in the Washington, DC area today or tomorrow, do not be surprised to find the words "Come Together" scrawled illegibly on your cup. You can blame this on the fact that Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz is a tepid showman masquerading as a bold visionary. ...

Pro Bowl rosters are out. Try to look excited....

ESPN Article Analogizes Soccer Team To A Teenage Virgin And A Libidinous Rod Stewart

At first, there doesn't seem to be anything all that special about this article on ESPN's Soccernet. It's not much more than a standard game recap, until you get to this part:...

College ShameDay: What's A Belk? Is AdvoCare Addictive? Answering All Your Questions About Our Shittiest Bowl Games

Our weekly college football shame index previews the shitty upcoming bowls. ...

Scott Mitchell Is Not Happy About The Fact That Lomas Brown Let Him Get Injured In 1994

Last week, we told you about former Lions offensive tackle and current ESPN NFL analyst Lomas Brown admitting to intentionally blowing a block in the hopes that his team's quarterback, Scott Mitchell, would be knocked out of the game with an injury. Brown's plan worked. Mitchell left the game with ...

How Creepy Chinese Automakers Use Sexy Naked Women To Sell Unsexy Cars

Sex appeal is used to sell cars in every country, but China has outdone the rest of the world with what they call "breast milk exhibitions," i.e. regular auto shows filled with topless and sometimes totally naked women....

Andruw Jones Charged With Battery After Alleged Domestic Dispute

There aren't many specific details yet known, but the AP is reporting that former major leaguer Andruw Jones started his Christmas Day in jail after he was arrested on a battery charge early this morning in the Atlanta suburb of Duluth. Seems police were called to respond to a domestic dispute betwe...

"Buster Olney U So Full A Shit": The Year In Great, Terrible, And Deeply Weird Tweets From The World Of Sports

2012 offered many windows into the athlete soul, but none were larger or more revealing than the unfiltered weirdness that came from their screwy social media presences. Here are our favorites, from Cardale Jones delicately explaining that he wasn't recruited to Ohio State for his academic prowess, ...