ow Page 829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paul Ryan Mistook Colt McCoy For Brandon Weeden At Browns Practice Today
The Browns aren't that bad. We told you that last week, before they defeated the Bengals on Sunday, but if you needed more proof, here it is: vice-presidential candidate Paul Ryan visited Cleveland's practice facility today. (Ryan's a diehard Packers fan, but politics compels people to do strange th...

How The Hell Did The Seahawks Build An Elite Defense?
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Sandusky's Unidentified Shower Victim: Not Unidentified, Initially Denied Shower Abuse
Since Jerry Sandusky was first charged as a serial child molester last November, the prosecution has claimed that the identity of two of his victims was unknown. That claim was even repeated by prosecutor Joseph McGettigan during last week's sentencing hearing. But according to Sara Ganim of the Pat...

Beyoncé To Perform At Super Bowl Halftime Show, Has Spawned The Greatest Lede In History
From the Associated Press:...

How To Sleep Train A Selfish Baby
When you have a new child, you have only one priority in life, one that takes precedence over procuring food, finding a job, or anything else: getting the child to sleep through the night. Everything you do with a baby beforehand—feeding it, putting it on a schedule, repeatedly throwing the baby up ...

"George In Nashua" Had A Job Interview At A Radio Station, Until He Called In To Talk Sports
ESPN Radio in New Hampshire is in the process of filling some sales positions at the station and has interviews set up throughout the week. One of those interviews was going to be with a man known to us only as "George in Nashua." During today's midday show with Christian and King on WGAM—The Game—G...

Little League Football Assistant Coach Viciously Slaps Referee After Disputed Call
Meet Dion Robinson: a 43-year-old ex-con and soon to be former assistant football coach in a youth football league in West Park, Florida—weird. Specifically, Robinson has been arrested over 12 times and has pled no contest to charges including "cocaine delivery, indecent exposure and unlawful use ...

Asian Football Confederation Does Racist Thing, Blames Wikipedia
An article recently appeared on the Asian Football Confederation's website that referred to the United Arab Emirates' national soccer team as the "Sand Monkeys." That's a really racist thing to do, in case you didn't know....

Brandon Weeden Is Too Old To Have High School Stats On A Scouting Site
Brandon Weeden is older than the average rookie due to a minor-league baseball stint before a return to football. That's why it was funny when a Browns' program accidentally listed him at 129 years of age. An actual discrepancy in Weeden's football career, however, is much more telling of how veter...

Mark Sanchez Silenced Tebow Supporters While Throwing For The Third-Lowest Passing Yards In His Career
Guess what, Mark Sanchez haters? Mr. Poise 2009 has made you all shut up. During the Jets' two-game strugglefest (with losses to the 49ers and Texans), Tim Tebow supporters wanted Sanchez replaced, crying, "tim tewbow as stater job!" But now, with the Jets routing the Colts on Sunday, Sanchez can w...

Here's A Browns Fan Dunking His Head In A Bucket Of Urine For $450
"Don't do it, Phil!"...

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Texas)?
Our weekly college football shame index. ...

Cranky Columnist Writes Anti-Stats Column That Reads Like Parody Of Anti-Stats Columns
Chaz Scoggins has been around. The longtime Lowell Sun writer has served as the Red Sox's official scorer for 34 years. He's been a SABR member for nearly as long. He even served as president of the BBWAA. But his hidden talent appears to be master satirist. How else to explain his weekend column, w...

According To The Cleveland Browns, Brandon Weeden Is 129 Years Old
Brandon Weeden is 29 years old. Which makes him old for a rookie first-round draft pick, but not old for a human being. 129 years is exactly 100 years older than Brandon Weeden is and that is old for a human being, rookie first-round draft pick or otherwise. According to reader Nathan, what you see...

Wes Welker Getting Phased Out Of His Shoes, The Chiefs And Bucs Combining For Something Like A Football Play, And More: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup
Here's where we're putting the GIFs of the week, from Wes Welker getting housed to Robert Griffin III looking super human. ...

Sportswriter Quotes UT Player Saying Oklahoma "Ran The Balls Down Our Throat"; UT Player Requests Never To Be Asked Another Question
Kirk Bohls, a sports columnist for the Austin American-Statesmen, spent some time after Oklahoma's drubbing of Texas yesterday asking Texas players questions, as sportswriters are wont to do. He also tweeted out some of the better responses. Standard practice. He also made a small typo. It happens....

Texas, A 63-21 Loser To Oklahoma, Still Has Mack Brown Signed Through 2020
The Texas-Oklahoma game today was as lopsided as a wink. The Sooners tripled up the Longhorns, 63-21, a score that almost looks like a mercy killing after a 36-2 halftime advantage....

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

How To Make French Toast: A Guide For People Who Are Not Insane
Let's make French toast!...

Bud Selig's New, Random Postseason Knows The Soul Of Baseball Better Than You Think
Out of the 22 playoff games in the first two rounds of the MLB playoffs, 12 have featured at least one team on the brink of elimination, and six of those will have been sudden death for both teams. Bud Selig's new postseason format puts a lot more weight on single games, which has led many players, ...