ow Page 942 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is Not Andrew Ference Giving Habs Fans The Finger
Your morning roundup for April 22, the day America went to its room and listened to Smiths records....
Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...
Phil Jackson's Zenergy Lulled At Least One Person To Sleep In L.A. Last Night
Your morning roundup for April 21, the day after McDonald's "National Hiring Day" in Cleveland got real. Real violent. Like, spitting in faces and hitting people with cars violent....
Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...
Police Somehow Find 6-Foot-9, 300-Pound Former NBA Player Who Allegedly Pistol-Whipped A Guy At A BBQ
The Anne Arundel County (Maryland) cops on Tuesday arrested former NBA big big man Oliver Miller, who allegedly pistol-whipped a dude with a Glock at a barbeque on Sunday. Miller fled the scene in his 2003 BMW X5 with several buckets of coleslaw and the secret recipe for a vinegar-based sauce....
<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....
Star Of <i>Fred Claus</i> Points And Laughs At Four-Time NHL All-Star
Your morning roundup for April 20, the day we started buying all of our heroin on Craigslist....
This Is How Four Guys Who Can't Play Basketball Let New York Down
Well, the Knicks lost to the Celtics earlier this evening, 96-93, which puts Stat, Melo, and their motley gang of invalids in a 2-0 hole with the series headed back to New York....
Over At CNN, ESPN's LZ Granderson Takes Aim At American Culture, Whore-Friendly Panties
ESPN.com/ESPN Mag columnist LZ Granderson joined CNN last week, apparently writing a weekly column in addition to his ESPN gig. Why would Granderson need another online platform, one might wonder, especially since his Page 2 pieces often tackle stuff other columnists won't?...
With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...
Stephon Marbury Plans To Take Over China And Then Build His Own City In South Carolina
Wells Tower went to Taiyuan, capital of China's Shanxi Province, to see our friend Stephon Marbury, and he wrote about it for GQ. Marbury was then playing for the Shanxi Brave Dragons and plotting world domination (or at least, domination of China's inexpensive shoe market) with his Starbury brand. ...
He's Not Signaling How Many Outs Remain
Your morning roundup for April 19, the day we pre-ordered our Iggy Pop action figure....
ESPN Will Now Attempt To Be Kind Of Honest About Its Personalities' Endorsements
The ESPN transparency project, otherwise known as the giving of a different name to public relations, otherwise known as "Front Row," released the company's new endorsement policies last week and came out with a list of its commentators' "endorsement relationships" this morning. We documented a fa...
Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...
Sean Avery Leaning On His Own Stick Until It Breaks Is Probably A Metaphor For Something
Your morning roundup for April 18, the day a famous surgeon resigned for suggesting that unprotected sex was "a better gift for [Valentine's] day than chocolates."...
Colin Cowherd Will Have You Know His Script Can Get Worse By The Hour
Back in February, we brought you the Awful Pilot for Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show. It was doubly awful. Read it here if you're so inclined....
Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....
There Are No Winners In Louisiana Jello Wrestling, Only Screams And Suggestive Techniques
People say we don't offer enough coverage of wrestling, the caveat being that the dearth applies to wrestlers not yet dead. Fair enough....
The Binder That Ties You To A Game
My junior year of college, my roommate Scot played Dr. J vs. Larry Bird on an Apple II, the game's original platform, always taking Bird. Scot had a Three Ring Binder. After each score he'd put down that boxy joystick… [Kotaku] ...
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The NBA Playoffs start with four games on today's schedule. Pacers vs. Bulls at 1 p.m. Sixers at Heat at 3:30 p.m. Hawks at the Magic at 7 p.m. Blazers at Mavs at 9:30 p.m. Throw all the octopi you want; it's fantastic. Except in Orlando, where they're already scared Dwight Howard might take his ta...