own Page 138 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wonderful, Miserable Browns Fans Throw "Perfect Season" Parade Through Cleveland
Browns fans, perhaps more adept at wringing enjoyment out of crushing hopelessness than any fanbase on our planet, threw a delightful parade through Cleveland to celebrate the team’s historic winless season. God bless these poor sons of bitches:...
This Figure Skater Performs To "Turn Down For What"
SAN JOSE, Calif.—Figure skater Jimmy Ma just performed his short program at the 2018 National Championships. And about two thirds of the way through his performance, the music changes to a song you wouldn’t expect to hear at a skating competition—DJ Snake’s and Lil’ Jon’s “Turn Down For What.”...
Cultural References In This NFL.com Sean McVay Profile, Ranked
The longtime Sports Illustrated writer Michael Silver works for the NFL now, and it appears that his editors there are finally allowing him to live his dream of writing like a prestigious version of Bill Simmons circa 2002. His lengthy profile of Rams head coach Sean McVay is packed with more pop cu...
Patrick Ewing Gets Brutally Honest With A Georgetown Player
Georgetown forward Marcus Derrickson might have thought he had less time on the shot clock than he actually had in Tuesday’s game against DePaul, because his sloppy Dirk Nowitzki tribute sadly clanked off the front of the rim. Head coach Patrick Ewing carefully tore into Derrickson during a timeout....
Polish Skier Finishes Downhill Race On A Single Ski
Pawel Babicki finished 67th out of 67 competitors at a downhill race last week in Bormio, Italy. He trailed eventual winner Dominik Paris by 36 seconds, which is all the more impressive considering that Babicki lost his left ski before the halfway point of the famous Stelvio downhill run....
319-Pound Defensive Lineman Da'Ron Payne Gets Interception, Catches TD Pass In Five-Minute Span
Alabama’s Da’Ron Payne pushes well past 300 pounds and bench presses 500. He is a large man. Here’s the large man catching two passes in five minutes—one of them from his own team, for a touchdown—and making us all very happy to be alive. Except for those of us who went to Clemson, and I didn’t go t...
Kyle Williams And Bills Go With <i>Any Given Sunday</i> Celebration After Touchdown
Defensive lineman Kyle Williams has played for the Buffalo Bills for 12 seasons. Today could be his last game. With the Bills on the goal line in the third quarter, the team lined up the defensive tackle at fullback—and handed him the ball....
The Browns Had 16 Chances To Win A Game This Season And Just Could Not Do It<em></em>
This game really looked like it could be the one. Granted, the overtime loss to the Packers in Week 14 looked promising too, as did Week 7's extra time 12-9 defeat against the Titans. But going up against Pittsburgh’s B team, with all the Steelers’ best players resting, the 0-15 Cleveland Browns had...
Browns Owned From Beyond The Grave By Disgruntled Dead Fan
Well, you knew this was coming: the Cleveland Browns have been owned by another dead person....
C'mon, Nobody Deserves That
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Why Does Jon Gruden Think The Philadelphia Stadiums Are "Downtown"?
Philadelphia teams have been tanking incompetently since before Sam Hinkie was alive. The 1968 Eagles started out 0-11 and looked like a lock to draft O.J. Simpson No. 1 overall. Then they won two straight to ensure that the Bills would have the top pick. In their 14th and final game that year, a yo...
Jameis Winston Melts Down After Panthers Comeback
Cam Newton scored a touchdown with 35 seconds left to push the Panthers past the Buccaneers, 22-19. On the ensuing drive, Jameis Winston fumbled on the first play after a sack from Kawann Short. Carolina defensive end Julius Peppers recovered. That’s when things got messy....
Report: Josh Rosen Doesn't Really Want To Play For The Cleveland Browns
Mock 2018 NFL drafts—here, here, here, and here, for example—tend to favor UCLA quarterback Josh Rosen as the number one overall pick, headed to the Cleveland Browns, who have needed a franchise quarterback for, well, my entire life. Which makes this report, from Adam Schefter, another hilarious bum...
Report: Top MLB Exec Was Accused Of Abusing Colleagues, Hiring Escorts<em></em>
In November, news of longtime MLB executive Bob Bowman stepping down from his position came and went. Bowman, who headed up the league’s digital media arm for 17 years, was credited with making baseball “more accessible and enjoyable to millions of fans” by commissioner Rob Manfred in a statement an...
NFL Network Boss David Eaton Resigns
David Eaton, the vice president and executive editor for NFL Media, has resigned his position. ...
The Winless Browns Can't Get Anyone To Watch Them Because Of Liberalism
You won’t get these facts from the mainstream media!...
Report: Jerry Richardson Is No Longer Running The Panthers
Well, this is moving swiftly. The Panthers announced on Friday that they’d opened an investigation into what we’ve since learned are accusations of workplace sexual harassment and racial abuse by team owner Jerry Richardson, and by Sunday the team had announced that Richardson would sell his ownersh...
Jerry Richardson Will Sell The Panthers
Just two days after the Panthers announced he was under investigation for workplace misconduct, and on the same day of a Sports Illustrated report that described a pattern of sexual harassment and casual racism, Panthers owner Jerry Richardson announced that he will look to sell his team this offsea...