own Page 203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Try Again, Tirico
Buttfumble chanteuse Mike Tirico came into tonight's game expecting to see Michael Vick behind center for the Carolina Panthers. We don't know why! ...
The Crazy Kobe Trade Ideas Season Is Now Open
One of the many joys of a high-profile NBA team collapsing is when the desperate homers and old-fart national columnists who, weirdly, don't pay any actual attention to the NBA begin wildly overestimating what the team could get back by trading away its bad players. Hey, the Knicks are in the toile...
German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....
Kurt Warner Frames Whole NFL Net Segment Around His Creationist Beliefs
Resident NFL Network Jesus freak Kurt Warner decided to tie in his anti-evolution "science" views this morning as part of a way to explain how Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has adapted to NFL defenses. Then he argued with people on Twitter about it....
Browns WR's Son Now Knows Which Team To Support
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins's son admitted his favorite players were Bengals back in October. Bad idea, kid. After a lot of introspection, however, Hawkins's son was allowed back in the house on Friday....
MSU QB Suffers Most Horrific Injury In History, Per Kirk Herbstreit
Here's ABC/ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit getting his words a bit mixed up as he describes Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook suffering—literally!—an on-field cardiectomy....
High School Football Reporter Films Entrance, Gets Mauled By Team
Newspaper reporter Ed Castro was on the scene last night for Arrowhead Christian Academy's (Redlands, Calif.) home game against Western Christian. He had the ideal spot for getting video of ACA's tunnel entrance, up until the moment when he did not....
Bengals RB Jeremy Hill Says The 6-3 Browns Are Still Bad
Holy crap, the Browns are at the top of their division (tied with the Steelers). They beat the Bengals 24-3 last night to improve to 6-3, their best start since football returned to Cleveland in 1999. Hoyer the Destroyer! An impressive defense! Josh Gordon's coming back soon! But Bengals running bac...
Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...
Bill Simmons Goes On Twitter Rant, Calls Out ESPN And Mike Golic
Mike Golic, co-host of ESPN radio show Mike & Mike took a bit of a shot at ESPN colleague Bill Simmons on this morning's episode. Simmons has since gotten wind of it, and he is pissed. ...
Michael Kay Screams And Rants About Mike Francesa And Integrity
Yankees play-by-play announcer Michael Kay was fuming at radio host Mike Francesa yesterday on his radio show, and called out the Sports Pope after Francesa suggested YES controlled what Kay could and couldn't do....
Clown Shoes Pecan Pie Porter Is A Sloppy Good Time
This past weekend, my wife and I went to a quaint highway-side resort on Cape Cod to read magazines, pretend one clam chowder tastes any different from the next, and remember that the vast majority of Americans still don't give a shit what beer they drink....
Did <em>NBC Nightly News</em> Go Live To A Man Who Was Taking A Piss?
It sure looks like Weather Channel meteorologist Mike Seidel was relieving himself when Lester Holt threw to him during his coverage of the storms in North Carolina. What else could he have been doing?...
I Watched A Journeyman Fighter Get His Ass Beat In A Cage In St. Louis
From Thrown, Kerry Howley's new, great book on mixed martial arts, available now....
John Clayton Sent A Gift To The Player Who Ended Brian Bosworth's Career
John Clayton, who covered the Seahawks for nine years before joining ESPN in 1995, made an appearance on Seattle's ESPN radio affiliate Wednesday, and was asked about the 30 for 30 documentary "Brian and the Boz," which had debuted on ESPN the night before. He revealed that once upon a time, young...
The Full Cleveland Cavaliers Intro & Starting Lineups, With Proper Audio
TNT (or, perhaps, Quicken Loans Arena) had a major audio fuckup tonight that left the Knicks' radio feed bleeding all over the Cavs' carefully-crafted fancy intro. So here's that fancy intro and starting lineups with proper audio....
It's Opening Night, & Gregg Popovich Is Already Fed Up With Interviews
It's no secret that Gregg Popovich is no fan of the in-game interview, but we figured he'd make it through at least one of them this season without the whole thing breaking down into a postmodern farce. We were wrong....
Table Tennis Player Gets Too Amped, Destroys Sign, Loses Prize Money
Pro table tennis player Zhang Jike won the 2014 Liebherr Men's World Cup in Germany this weekend, and he celebrated by kicking the shit out of a nearby sign before tossing his shirt into the crowd. Take that, sign! I am the best at table tennis and I am stronger than you!...
Radio Host Mike Francesa Rants About The Jets For Over Seven Minutes
The shit-ass Jets are 1-7 after getting smoked by the Buffalo Bills in a game that featured many grand embarrassments from the home team, so today was the perfect day for Mike Francesa to unleash a merciless rant about just how crappy this team is....
Legalize Josh Gordon
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