own Page 250 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLB Network Is Just Inventing New Statistics Now

If only my dog could shit with at least a .275 average....

Trope-Recycling Bill Simmons Has Bill Simmons Syndrome

Bill Simmons this week mused on the fate of Dwight Howard, who appears to be the NBA's equivalent of plutonium: a potential world-beater but perilously radioactive. To characterize the gap between Perceived Dwight Howard and Actual Dwight Howard, the founder of Grantland and ESPN spittling-head did ...

Hawk Completely Melts Down About This Blown Double Play Call

Chicago White Sox announcer Ken "Hawk" Harrelson was obviously a little high-strung yesterday when Chicago had bases loaded in the bottom of the 10th with one out against the lowly Marlins. When umpire Angel Hernandez called White Sox batter Alex Rios out at first base to complete the double play an...

Yep, The L.A. Media Is <em>Still</em> Confused By The City's Hockey Team

Man, that was close. Just when we were starting to think we'd get through an entire NHL season without a Kings-related screw-up from the Los Angeles media, Fox 11's Liz Habib rides to the rescue....

The Rams Signed A 403-Pound Lineman

Ole Miss had tackle Terrell Brown officially listed at 385. That was either a lie, or he's had a sedentary spring, because after the Rams signed him as an undrafted free agent earlier in the week, they put him on the scale and got a big surprise....

NESN Reports <em>SportsPickle</em> Satire About Brian Urlacher As News

Yesterday satirical sports website SportsPickle published an amusing story on Brian Urlacher's retirement, claiming the Bears linebacker was retiring but signing a one-day contract with the Packers so he could "go out a winner." Today, while broadcasting coverage of the ACC baseball tournament, NES...

Toronto Fan Hurls Full Can Of Beer At Nate McLouth, Nearly Hits Him

In what was a good night for bad fans, a spectacular play by Nate McLouth resulted in retribution from a Blue Jays fan who chucked what appears to be a full can of beer from the Rogers Centre upper deck at the Orioles outfielder....

ESPN Guy Praises Johnny Manziel's "V-I-P-ness" (Say It Out Loud)

College Football Live's Joe Tessitore aroused attention today by stroking Johnny Manziel's total package....

Jalen Rose Says Tony Allen's Flop Was Worthy Of A Pulitzer Prize

When Manu Ginobili hit Tony Allen with a flagrant foul late in last night's Grizzlies-Spurs game, Allen engaged in a truly fantastic bit of theater by pretending that Ginobili's foul had caused him to slam his head against the floor. It was a flop for the ages (which doesn't change the fact that th...

Wolf Blitzer Asks Atheist Tornado Survivor, "Do You Thank The Lord?"

We Had A Seventh-Grade English Teacher Grade Rick Reilly's Poem

Remember last week, when Rick Reilly tried to pass off this stupid poem as a sports column? Since he's an adult who gets paid an exorbitant amount of money to write about sports, Reilly was rightly lambasted by most everyone who saw his poem. But we wanted to give Reilly's poetic skills a chance to ...

Profundo

Head on over to SB Nation's Longform page and check out Eric Nusbaum's story on baseball's unknown slugger:...

Sources: ESPN Laying Off Hundreds [UPDATE]

ESPN is laying off a portion of its staff today, a network spokesman confirms to us. How many? ESPN won't say. A tipster told us earlier today that it would be more than 400 staffers. A source at ESPN said that number is a little high, but it appears to be in the hundreds. ...

Ole Miss Football Coach Engages In Some Revisionist History

The picture you see above was sent from Ole Miss head coach Hugh Freeze's Twitter account today, along with the inspiring hashtags #HottyToddy, #DoSomethingSpecial, and #WinTheDay. What a great way to recall the storied legacy of the Ole Miss football program! Except, of course, for the fact that ev...

ESPN's Darren Rovell And The Fitness Model: A Brief History [Update]

May 11, 2009: Darren Rovell writes about Nora Tobin, a model he's never heard of whom he saw in an advertisement on his CNBC blog:...

Personal Best

From Pauline Kael's 1982 review of one of the great sports movies:...

Singer Of National Anthem Forgets Words, Powers Ahead Anyhow

Listening to this instantly immortal rendition of "The Star-Spangled Banner," I'm reminded of Kevin Kline's character in "A Fish Called Wanda," who after receiving any sort of instruction always had to ask, "What was the part in the middle?"...

How To Give A Best Man Toast That Doesn't Suck

We got this email the other day from reader Alex. It's the kind of email we get a lot round these parts:...

Brownsville Bum

Here's W.C. Heinz's classic True magazine story on Bummy Davis (Jimmy Breslin called it the best magazine story ever written):...

Tennis Player Has Cameraman Help With Epic Tirade Against Chair Umpire

This video of Viktor Troicki's meltdown at the Italian Open goes on for four minutes, but be sure to watch it from beginning to end. It just keeps getting better and better....