own Page 311 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Philly Radio Guy Said He Would "Take A Bike From Philadelphia To San Francisco" If The Eagles Lost
Howard Eskin has been one of Philadelphia's biggest sports radio personalities for more than 20 years. His reign as the city's self-professed "king" of the genre came to an end last month, however, when WIP switched to an FM format and his radio duties were cut back to a couple of hours on Saturday...

Let's Watch Ronnie Brown Try To Throw A Pass When He's Stopped On A Goal-Line Rush
The Philadelphia Eagles had a third-and-goal from the 1/3-yard line against San Francisco in the first half of their game today. Ronnie Brown tried to rush up the middle to extend the Eagles's seven-point lead. Ronnie Brown got stopped cold. So Ronnie Brown tried to throw a pass to no one in parti...

Illinois LB Jonathan Brown Checked If The Coast Was Clear Before Kneeing A Foe In The Balls Today
"During the first half of today's Illinois/Northwestern game, Illinois linebacker Jonathan Brown clearly looks around to see if anyone is watching before kneeing Northwestern offensive lineman Patrick Ward in the groin. Of course, with 65,000 people, eleven opposing players and five refs - one of ...

Mike Ditka Is Angry About The Walter Payton Book He Hasn't Read
I'd bet all the money in my pockets against all the money in yours that Mike Ditka hasn't read Jeff Pearlman's revelatory biography of Walter Payton, which was excerpted in this week's Sports Illustrated and which has the Chicago media scurrying to find any old Bear willing to glower at a book he ha...

JV Football Coach Suspended For Making Players Lie On Graves To Learn About Persistence And Rebirth
"The sources said [coach Jim] Marsh, also an English teacher at the high school, ordered the team bus to pull over near the cemetery. He then asked the roughly two dozen players to get out and lay on the graves. The players rested there for several minutes while Marsh preached about the importance ...

Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

20 Things Angry Buffalo Fans Wrote To A Female Sports Columnist Who Criticized The Bills
Last week, Jennifer Gish—a sportswriter who is a woman—wrote a column for the Albany Times Union that questioned "whether the Bills faithful had a right to demand respect after a 2-0 start." After it was published, some Bills fans wrote to Gish. Here is what they told her (I've taken out the newspap...

Dan Shaughnessy, At Approximately 10 P.M. Wednesday: "The Red Sox Season Is Not Going To End Tonight"
Here's Dan Shaughnessy, during last night's rain delay, with the Sox leading the Orioles 3-2 and the Yankees leading the Rays 7-0: "I think the Rays are not going to win tonight. I think that's the one thing that we've eliminated tonight is that the Red Sox season is not going to end tonight. They...

Belligerent Galloping Lady Demonstrates The Funniest Way To Use A Treadmill
We can't decide whether or not the belligerent gallop-jog is funnier on loop, as you'll see above, or as a single belligerent gallop-jog, which can be seen here. But this woman definitely eats elliptical girls for breakfast. Our only regret is that the tipster, Marc, did not capture the moment whe...

So Here's What Really Happened When A Pair Of Philly Football Writers Got Into A Fight Today
The Internet has been buzzing about the brawl that occurred this afternoon between Les Bowen of the Philadelphia Daily News and Jeff McLane of the Philadelphia Inquirer, their respective newspapers' Eagles beat writers. The story first got out because of a tweet sent early this afternoon by Howard E...

The One Where We're Offered A Tape Of Two NFL Players Humping A Teenage Puerto Rican Prostitute (AUDIO VERSION)
Welcome back to Deleted Scenes. This space is now reserved for those scuzz-money entrepreneurs who've unsuccessfully tried to sell us prurient information. This is also where we'll run notable emails we've received from some of our readers. All emails are [sic]'d. Enjoy....

A Very Quick Correction To A Very Dumb Rick Reilly Column
Rick Reilly writes: "Jersey Rule No. 3: You may not wear a jersey if somebody else in your group is already wearing one. This is also known as The Fedora Rule. No two guys in any group can be wearing a fedora. The second man's fedora must be trashed, crushed or sold. You never saw Sinatra and Dean M...

The $30 Product That Will Change How You Watch The NFL
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Cleveland’s Sunday Tailgate Scene Also Included A Couple Who Ditched Their 9-Year-Old Foster Child
Anna and Earnest Fugate are fans of the type of Cleveland Browns fans who apparently like to fight while "partying" in the muni-lot. You know, that place where ""society devolves to its lowest point each week."...

We Remind You Once Again That Dan Shaughnessy Is Putrid
Your letters:...

Cleveland's Sunday Tailgate Scene Includes Stand-Up Trailer Blowjob And Boxer-Brief Beatdowns
This video tableau of good ol' midwestern football revelry comes from the infamous Municipal Parking Lot tailgate scene (The Muni Lot), where, as one reader says, "society devolves to its lowest point each week." The top video, courtesy of the eagle-eyed videographers /amateur pornographers at "Ma...

Watch Jamie Dukes Be Totally Inappropriate With His Female NFL Network Co-Host (Video)
He bent over and asked her to take a snap from him. And it was incredibly awkward. Dukes recovered nicely and continued to make his point, but a short time later he ... asked again. And it was even more awkward. Idiot. [Midwest Sports Fans]...

Atlanta Braves Have Had A Rough September, According To Newspaper's Middle School Line Graph
This is a real graph that accompanied a real article in the real Atlanta Journal-Constitution today. The Braves lost to the Phillies 4-2 last night, and are now just a game ahead of the Cardinals for the NL wild card—all thanks to this carefully-plotted "September Swoon." It's really exciting that t...

Ozzie Guillen Says The White Sox Should Fire Him, Because He "Had A Great Team And They Played Like Shit"
This was a part of a droll press conference, in which Ozzie also said that the Marlins should be interested in him, because, "fuck it, they should be, I'm bad."...

Some Random Fan Joined The Cleveland Browns In Their On-Field Celebration Yesterday (Video)
Years ago, it was common to see lots of fans storm the field to celebrate a team's victory. The obvious security concerns and litigation threats of today, however, make such displays pretty much nonexistent. And television networks have long avoided showing footage of fans running onto playing field...