own Page 316 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Before It Went To War With China, Georgetown Was Quite Excited About Its Overseas Mission
Georgetown University sent a hype-man of an email to graduates and others in June. Oh, what could have been if things didn't devolve to diplomacy decimation with the quickness....
Terry Bradshaw Doesn't Seem To Realize That Hawaii Is A State
During tonight's Philadelphia Eagles/Pittsburgh Steelers preseason game, conversation in the Fox Sports booth turned to Troy Polamalu and Hawaii. Here's a quick synopsis:...
China Would Prefer Not To Dwell On Any Incident That May Or May Not Have Occurred Between Georgetown And The People's Liberation Army
Here's the online front page of the state-run English-language China Daily this afternoon. Welcome to China, Joe Biden! Hey, wasn't that goodwill mission supposed to include a basketball game?...
Here's Video Of The Georgetown-China On-Court Fight
Via @bubbaprog at SportsGrid....
Georgetown Brawls With Chinese Team
This is not how you do a goodwill tour....
Jim Thome Is Just A "Big, Friendly Farm Boy," And Other Aw-Shucks Observations
On Monday night, Minnesota's Jim Thome became the eighth player in MLB history to hit 600 career home runs. Sports media has declared that not enough people noticed his feat (to its credit, though, the condom sector did). So let us humbly praise the humble man who is, in the immortal words of Tim Ku...
Torii Hunter Gets Trapped In An Oxygen Chamber, Pisses In a Bottle, Tweets
In need of a little rejuvenation after the Angels' 7-3 loss last night to the Rangers, Torii Hunter entered a clubhouse oxygen chamber, thinking that would do the trick. It's not known what happened next—whether Hunter stayed in the chamber too long and was forgotten about, or whether no one realiz...
Dropping In On The Demented Utopia Of The Gathering Of The Juggalos
I have infinite shortcomings as a Juggalette, but here are my two main ones: I can't say "titties" with a straight face, even when my face is covered with clown makeup. And I do not have any desire ever to show my own titties to crowds of ravenous young men I do not know. Many women at the 12th annu...
Watch Batting Stance Guy's Creepily Accurate Impressions Of All Your Least Favorite MLB Reporters
There's Terrorized Tim Kurkjian, precious Pedro Gomez, particular Peter Gammons, and Jon fucking Heyman....
The "Big" Penis Of Tom Brady's Toddler Son Prompted State Police To Visit Barstool Sports Editor's Home (UPDATE)
Late last week, Barstool Sports used the headline "Check Out The Howitzer On Brady's Kid" above a paparazzi photo of a naked Benjamin Brady, age one and a half, frolicking on the beach:...
Don't Worry, Carlos Zambrano: Ozzie Guillen And White Sammy Sosa Have Your Back
CSN Chicago reports that Zambrano—whom the Cubs suspended for 30 days, due to a big ol' meltdown—received text messages of support from Guillen and Sosa....
Yes, This IndyCar Driver Needed Both Middle Fingers For His Salute To The Race Officials Live On ABC (Update With Video)
Some background to driver Will Power's double-barreled message from today's Indy 225 at the New Hampshire Motor Speedway, courtesy of tipsters Dave and sassojr:...
I-Team: Help Us Solve The Mystery Of Mitch Albom's Ears
Tipster Chad D. (or Chadd?) writes in, [sic]s and all:...
SWAT Team Called To Home Of Former Patriots And Notre Dame Defensive Coach
"A SWAT team has responded to the Northbrook Shores subdivision in Granger after shots were reportedly fired inside at a home in the 10000 block of Glynwater Ct. This was originally called in as a domestic dispute just before 1 p.m. A neighbor told WSBT the home is owned by Corwin Brown, a former N...
Total QB Rating: Everything Great About ESPN Multiplied By Everything Insufferable
It's been fascinating to watch ESPN roll out its new, proprietary Total Quarterback Rating over the past few days, and not just because we got to see Tirico, Gruden, and Jaws huffing and grunting and puzzling over the thing as if it were the first stone tool. ("This new measure of stats," Tirico cal...
Noted Chubby Quarterback Makes Widely Derided Prediction
Rex Grossman is the No.1 quarterback on the Redskins' depth chart. I know that means close to absolute zero in the long term, but c'mon: read that first sentence again....
Dolphins Linebacker Channing Crowder Retires At 27 To Spend More Time With His Own Crazy Thoughts: A Tribute
Miami released Crowder, its trash-talking linebacker, two weeks ago, and Crowder decided to retire today....
Stay The Hell Away From Rehabbing Stephen Strasburg, You Mongrels, Minor League Team Tells Press
You may think it's Strasmas in August for the scribes of Hagerstown, Maryland, but you'd be wrong. Dead wrong....
Radio Guy Apologizes For Calling Giants Pitcher An "Illegal Alien"
When the Phillies and Giants sorta-brawled last night, radio guy Tony Bruno (on right in photo) sent out this Tweet: "gutless #!@%*! Giants. Bochy is a coward for having his illegal alien pitcher hit a guy since mighty Frisco boys ..." and quickly deleted it. But nothing's quickly deleted. ...