own Page 323 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Paul Shirley And The Fat Woman Get Political
You remember Paul Shirley. We once described him as a "onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters." At the time we were discussing his controversial freelance piece on post-earthquake Haiti, and certain points like asking them to "use a condom once in a while."...

An Exclusive Interview With Tommy Craggs About The Bill Simmons "Grantland" Project
Approximately one month ago, Deadspin Senior Editor Tommy Craggs was approached by several fine folks involved in Bill Simmons' then unnamed editorial project, which we now know, thanks to Richard Deitsch's Twitter account, is called Grantland. ESPN issued a press release soon after that report and...

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Wheelchair-Bound Fan Storms Field, Very Slowly
That's 18-year-old quadriplegic soccer fan Derry Felton with the slow motion pitch invasion during League Two side Northampton Town's match this weekend. "I said to my mate 'If they score I will go on the pitch,'" Felton said. "But I didn't believe that they would. Then they did and it was a bit o...

Tony Kornheiser Finally, Frustratingly Weighs In On Dan Snyder
Kornheiser is the most visible members of the Washington DC sports media scene. He's also employed by Dan Snyder's radio broadcasting company, and ESPN. Because of the latter, he's been silent on the matter, and because of the former, that silence speaks volumes....

Dan Snyder Explains Why He's Being A Prick
Dan Snyder explains himself and his newly refiled lawsuit this morning over at Fred Hiatt's bullshit emporium. The piece contains all the spoon-banging you've come to expect from Snyder — "I am not thin-skinned" is probably the most ridiculous assertion on that op-ed page since whatever George Will ...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

Police Somehow Find 6-Foot-9, 300-Pound Former NBA Player Who Allegedly Pistol-Whipped A Guy At A BBQ
The Anne Arundel County (Maryland) cops on Tuesday arrested former NBA big big man Oliver Miller, who allegedly pistol-whipped a dude with a Glock at a barbeque on Sunday. Miller fled the scene in his 2003 BMW X5 with several buckets of coleslaw and the secret recipe for a vinegar-based sauce....

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

Over At CNN, ESPN's LZ Granderson Takes Aim At American Culture, Whore-Friendly Panties
ESPN.com/ESPN Mag columnist LZ Granderson joined CNN last week, apparently writing a weekly column in addition to his ESPN gig. Why would Granderson need another online platform, one might wonder, especially since his Page 2 pieces often tackle stuff other columnists won't?...

With Apologies To Jack Edwards, This Junior Hockey League Announcer Is The Homer To End All Homers
After reading our post about Jack Edwards's deliciously biased Bruins coverage, reader Kenn sent us this excellent clip from a junior hockey league in Texas. In it, the announcer completely loses his shit, tries to calm himself down, and then loses his shit all over again. It sounds like he's cove...

He's Not Signaling How Many Outs Remain
Your morning roundup for April 19, the day we pre-ordered our Iggy Pop action figure....

Jon Barry Can't Stop Giggling At Derrick Rose
Dan Shulman and Jon Barry tried their damndest to properly announce the Bulls-Pacers game on Saturday, but Derrick Rose made it a difficult task. We can't really blame them. Rose had 39 points in Chicago's 104-99 win, and his baskets were, throughout, brilliant. Brilliant enough to make Barry gigg...

Here's Video Of A Pro Golfer Needing 16 Shots To Conquer A Par-4 Hole
Your morning roundup for April 15, the day after Walter Breuning died of natural causes. He was 114 years and 205 days old....

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

ESPN's Joe Morgan Replacement Bobby Valentine Is Not Making A Whole Lot Of Sense
Bobby Valentine, who once proved that it takes no more than a fake mustache and a novelty t-shirt to manage a MLB team (provided, of course, that you already manage said team), is in his second year of his second stint at ESPN. This year, the spotlight's shining extra bright on Valentine, who has ...

<em>SonicsGate</em> Creator Just Wants An Unmolested Trip To Costco, A Basketball Team In Seattle
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Seattle still wants an NBA team, Mr. Schultz....