own Page 331 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Award For Best Headline Of The Day
... goes to the Sun Herald of Biloxi-Gulfport for referring to the Southern Miss/Houston game as a "shootout" while noting, in the very first sentence, that three Golden Eagles were recovering from — drum roll please — gunshot wounds!...
Did Nebraska Defensive Coordinator Carl Pelini Rough Up A Texas A&M Photographer? (Updated With Video)
Texas A&M beat Nebraska 9-6 yesterday. Excitement. At least for Aggies fans, who stormed the field. And for an Aggie photographer, who claims Cornhusker D coordinator and the head coach's littler big bro Carl Pelini got all grabby, pushy, breaky with him....
A Watched Bridge Never Implodes
A pair of Chicago morning show anchors eagerly wait for the demolition of a bridge...and wait...and wait some more. They come back to the studio for some chit-chat, only to completely miss the destruction. They proceed to freak right the fuck out....
Embargoed ESPN Book Already Being Shopped To Checkbook Journalists
Although it's still months away from hitting the book stores, the Miller/Shales bomb-throwing oral history of ESPN, "Those Guys Have All The Fun," is already being peddled on the internet black market....
Here's Your Infelicitous Turn Of Phrase Of The Day
Ashley Fox, Philadelphia Inquirer: "Michael Vick once fought and electrocuted dogs. Now, as the Eagles' starting quarterback, he is the most electric player in the National Football League." [Inquirer, image via deviantART]...
One "Worst Player In NFL History" Is Volcanically Pissed About Being A "Worst Player In NFL History"
Jeff Pearlman's massive list of football putridity has provoked an emotional reaction from Detroit Lions' safety, C.C. Brown, who was selected as the 90th worst player. He was not pleased with his ranking. In fact, he went completely berserk. ....
Lovable Old Coach Speaks Only In Yells And Similes
Montana Tech football coach Bob Green announced his retirement yesterday. After 24 years with the NAIA Diggers, he's as established a walking soundbite as he is a coach....
Peter Gammons Either Going Insane Or Had His Twitter Hacked
1:31: "Wok bm pppppppppppppppppppppppppp." 1:34: "Plops." Relax, Peter. Sabathia didn't win the Cy Young....
Cranky Old Man Chides Everyone For Enjoying YouTube Clip
Frank Deford on that whimsical middle school trick play: "It wasn't genius at all; rather, it was a form of child abuse."...
So, A Drunk Clevelander Laid Out A Small Child For Being A Jets Fan
You can stop emailing us about the 8-year-old who got tackled at the Browns game for wearing a Jets jersey. Our official stance is this: if you don't want your child to get beaten up everywhere they go, don't let them root for the Jets. Simple....
How To Make Your Own Four Loko
The FDA is going to ban caffeinated malt liquor beverages very soon. Gone will be Joose and gone will be our precious, disgusting Four Loko. Luckily, you will be prepared for the 21st century prohibition with this helpful video....
Here's Video Of Lou Holtz Dressing A Young Blonde Intern Down With Mean Words
Apparently, if you're not into sports, you're just jerking Lou Holtz around. That's what he said....
Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)
Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything....
Let's Talk Rationally About The Theory That November's SI Kids Cover Is A Cleveland Diss
Rational people of the world, let's be rational together. This month's SI Kids' cover was a harmless rendering of Miami's Big Three as the Three Musketeers, not a malicious stab at the Cleveland Cavaliers and their preteen fan base....
ESPN Book Promises To Reveal "The Rowdiest Frathouse In Sports TV"
So we happened to get our grimy little hands on the Little, Brown's catalog that teases the upcoming Shales/Miller oral history of the Worldwide Leader. It appears to promise many more casualties than our ESPN Nagasaki attack....
Small-Business Owner Does Not Appreciate Young Turk Messing With His Bushes
When you have a row of bushes in front of your shop, you want them to look pristine. A well-tended exterior shows your business is also well-tended. It's understandable you'd be upset if skateboarders repeatedly fucked with your shit....
My Uncomfortable Encounter With An Angry Joe Morgan
In 2005, I wrote a story for SF Weekly about the now-unemployed Joe Morgan, who at the time was leading a proudly ignorant rearguard action against Michael Lewis's Moneyball. Joe and I met one Sunday before a Giants game and chatted for a while about the book (which he hadn't read). Joe got a little...
Tom Brady Saw Cleveland Celebrating Like They Won A Super Bowl
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Tom Brady on getting mollywhomped by the Browns....
Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment
On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole....
People Are Psyched That Chris "Mad Dog" Russo's Baseball Team Won, According To Chris "Mad Dog" Russo
Professional yelling person Chris Russo, who once yelled some stuff about his Giants, tells our old friend Ben Cohen, "I'm amazed at how many fans are happy for me." [WSJ]...