own Page 339 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Armen Keteyian On A Stool, And Other Strange Scenes From The Greenwich LeBron Stakeout
Our man in Greenwich, Craig Fehrman, describes what it was like to wait for LeBron's Decision under a tree in a tony Connecticut town for hours with hordes of media and curious onlookers....

Here's Something To Ease You Off Your Fear Of Clowns
This Juarez street clown was arrested Wednesday on an alleged sexual assault charge filed by his teenage stepdaughter. Freaky, yes, but not as freaky as the Phil Spector mug shot. [The Smoking Gun]...

Yes, Dennis Green's Son, Who Apparently Writes For ESPN, Had Some Kiddie Porn On His Computer
I almost typed "kitty porn," which I assume is a lesser charge in Connecticut. Green was also charged with possession of narcotics and drug paraphernalia. He was gonna have quite a party by himself. [Hartford Courant]...

LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....

LeBron's Departure Helps Tea Party, Political Writers In Desperate Need Of LeBron Angle
It's early, but this story on The Atlantic's web site might just be the most inane, half-assed piece of LeBron punditry you'll read today. Here, I'll summarize: LeBron made Ohio angry. Angry people join the Tea Party. The end....

ESPN Deploys LeBron Sad Trombone/Victory Reporting Team Just In Case Chris Broussard Is Completely Wrong
Many sources scampering around Bristol have relayed that, for all that careful hedging. ESPN's own Chris Broussard claims he's "99% positive" LeBron will sign with the Miami WadeBosh. And if he's wrong? Well, ESPN has boots on the ground....

Colin Cowherd Mentions The Gloria James-Delonte West Humping Rumor; ESPN Not Pleased
On his show, useless ESPN talker Colin Cowherd has dared mention the Great Unmentionable Thing: the Delonte West-Gloria James rumor that was all the rage a few weeks ago. Oh, and he has "sources."...

Last Night's Winner: ESPN, According To ESPN
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ESPN, which is reporting that LeBron James will declare his intentions Thursday during a one-hour special televised by ESPN, according to ESPN's sources....

ESPN.com's Chris Jones Now "The Most Hated Man In Paraguay"
Deadspin favorite Chris Jones, Esquire's man for all seasons and an ESPN.com World Cup correspondent, dared call Paraguayan soccer "boring" the other day, and now people want to "smash [his] brain with a hummer." That's sic....

Rick Reilly® Talks To Lance Armstrong's Ass Again
Rick Reilly's annual exercise in mistaking Lance Armstrong for Saint Sebastian is upon us, and once again it finds our correspondent at his subject's massage table, taking in the view....

Deadspin Classic: Watch Artie Lange Crap All Over Joe Buck's First Show
The Fourth of July is all about bright, nighttime explosions, and today we give you Artie Lange exploding all over the debut of Joe Buck's short-lived show, The Nepotism and Dick Joke Variety Hour....

The World Cup Curse Of Mick Jagger
Sits in Bill Clinton's box for USA game; USA loses. Cheers on native England squad; England loses. Brings Brazilian son to today's match; Brazil out, kid cries. Any other nations whose dreams you'd like to crush, Mick?...

Source: ESPN Can't Get Anyone To Talk On The Record
These four headlines currently appear on ESPN's front page. But you didn't hear it from me. [ESPN]...

My Complicated Relationship With Alabama
I get a fair amount of hate mail. It comes with the territory and part of me enjoys actually reading and responding to it. But there isn't really hate mail quite like Alabama hate mail....

Stephen A. Smith, <em>Philadelphia Inquirer</em> Divorcing For Second Time
The print comeback of Stephen A. Smith has derailed again, as his brief return to the Philadelphia Inquirer as a columinzer is now finished. Mutually. Respectfully. Quite frankly. Statements and farewells from all parties involved after the jump....

<em>Party Down</em> Canceled, Comedy Nerds Crestfallen
Party Down, the extremely funny Starz program that serves as the anti-Entourage, has been canceled after two mildly successful seasons. But fear not, fans, you still have your precious Freaks & Geeks boxed sets to sob into softly....

Erin Andrews Has No Comment About What She Takes When She Can't Poo
Vanity Fair's George Wayne: What is the one thing you take when feeling constipated?...

Chad Ford Reduces LeBron Sweepstakes To Their Absurd Essence
It was Chad Ford who kickstarted the LeBron-to-Chicago talk, and now, a month-and-a-half later, as we career toward LeDefcon 1, it is Chad Ford who brings the conversation to its natural endpoint: quoting a waiter in a Chicago steakhouse....

Baltimore Radio Guy Loses His Mind Over John Riggins
Riggins has a new show on MASN, and to hype it up, he filmed a commercial at a generic football field. Problem is, it's not so generic: it's M&T Bank Stadium, home of the Ravens....

Try, Try Again
The Edmonton Journal hits us with the elusive double-typo headline, leaving us with something that can be interpreted in a number of ways; all of them juvenile, all of them hilarious. [via Puck Daddy]...