own Page 343 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<em>Newsday</em> Sports Section Adopts Strict Policy Of Blowing Sunshine Up Your Ass
Newsday, a collection of tire ads that old people leave lying around diners in Farmingdale, is cracking down on any use of sarcasm or name-calling or "negative characterization" in its corpse of a sports section. To which I say: Brilliant idea, assholes!...
Lawrence Frank Drops F-Bomb On ESPN's "First Take"
The old Nets coach is still new to live television, so perhaps he wasn't aware that he can still be heard even after a segment ends. Then again, Barkley's been doing this for years and experience hasn't helped him. [YouBeenBlinded]...
Charles Barkley Just Up And Calls Everyone "Assholes"
After a question of curious taste, Barkley is rendered speechless — no mean feat. Well, he does manage to get out one notable word....
Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....
Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....
Lone, Courageous Voice Rises In Praise Of Boston Sports
National columnist Lil' Dan O'Shaughnessy introduces us to a sleepy Northeastern burg that you probably don't know the name of, but actually has several professional sports franchises! (Ergo, they are also the best.) Oh, brother.... [SI]...
A New Big Ben Exposure Story: “He Had A Gray Penis"
Plenty of ladies these days have a story about unwanted exposure to Ben Roethlisberger's penis. Here's an account we received from reader Running Man Territory Dan. It's unverified and possibly totally fabricated. Still, A GRAY PENIS?!...
William Houston Still Shaking His Fist
Angry Billy Houston has a lengthy to-and-fro with Pension Plan Puppets. "Truth is, you're a pathetic piece of shit who can't function as a real journalist so you operate that awful blog," writes the former journalist who now operates a blog. [PPP]...
William Houston Doesn't Handle Criticism Well
Billy Houston, after taking potshots at bloggers in two consecutive posts and catching hell for it, resorts to a totally legitimate journalistic strategy: deleting all the comments on one, and deleting the second post altogether. [Truth & Rumours]...
Bill Houston Has A Wildly Original Insult For Bloggers
Surprise! Some people took issue with Houston's pissy little rant earlier this week. To them (and us), Houston says: "F.U. And say hello to your friends in the basement." [UPDATE: He's deleted the entire column.]...
Jerry Jones Clarifies His "Social Moment," Explains That Bill Parcells Is, In Fact, Worth A Shit
Jerry Jones took the opportunity at a diabetes fundraiser yesterday to explain away his sodden musings on Bill Parcells, and somehow he came away sounding a lot sillier than he did last week during cocktail hour at Ocean Prime....
<i>Chicago Tribune</i> Writer Sits On Fighting Bulls Scoop, <i>Sun-Times</i> Has No Problem With That
TNT's Craig Sager reported that Chicago Tribune writer K.C. Johnson knew about the John Paxson-Vinny Del Negro dustup weeks ago, but kept quiet "out of respect" for the coach. Obviously, this makes Craig Sager an unprincipled hack....
How Keith Hernandez Deals With Younger Women: "Sit And Stare"
Last night's Mets broadcast returned from break just in time to catch the punchline to 'ol Keith's story about a young lady. "I just had to sit down across from her, for around two minutes, and just stare at her."...
Reporter-Turned-Blogger Blasts Blogger-Turned-Reporter
This is William Houston, former Toronto Globe and Mail columnist. He was relevant, oh, around the last time the Maple Leafs were. He has some absurd things to say about the new Leafs beat writer....
David Brooks Provides Us With Yet Another Reason To Hate Duke (And David Brooks)
I'm sorry, somehow we missed this bit of intellection from the Upmarket Jeff Foxworthy, David Brooks: "How do you construct a rich versus poor narrative when the rich are more industrious?" he mused last week ... about Butler-Duke....
Ehhhh...Fuck Off, Dale Hansen
"That story we had earlier tonight about Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, if that's what it is (and our news director thinks it is), is yet another example of the decline of journalism as we once knew it." [WFAA]...
Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....
Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....
NY/Cleveland Media Feud Hits A New Low
Reporters in New York and Cleveland have gone back and forth on LeBron's future for the past couple of years. It's been good-natured until today, when a Daily News scribe took personal shots at his Plain Dealer counterpart. Claws out....
Last Night's Winner: Golf Pundits
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the fellows who talk, write, and tweet about golf, and who yesterday got plenty to talk, write, and tweet about. Old people! Flowering shrubs! Asians! Redemption!...