owns Page 144 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Someone Wrote The World's Dumbest Column About John Wall's New Tats
This, from the Washington Post's Jason Reid, is not so much a column as it is an extended pageant answer. It's as if someone had just asked: "Miss DC, do you think the Washington Wizards should give John Wall a max contract in light of his recently revealed predilection for body art?" And Miss DC h...

Even Bubba Watson Can Be A Petulant Jerk
Here's a nice reminder that despite his penchant for driving hovercrafts, rapping, and starting memes, Bubba Watson is still a professional golfer. Which is to say, he possesses an innate urge to act like a dick from time to time....

Little League Coach Melts Down; Parent Urges Therapy And Medication
A tipster passed along this email exchange from a recent little league dispute that is just a wonderful example of how stupid and petty and irrational children can be. These kids, especially whichever little tyke wrote the scathing reply, have got some real 50-cent words in their back pockets, too. ...

Reporter's Field Report: "Fuck Me, I Can't Even Fucking Talk"
Lindsay Nadrich of Fox's Spokane, Washington affiliate got a little tongue-tied during a live shoot on strawberry picking and got frustrated with herself. She also apparently forgot she was doing a live shoot.* ...


The Stupid, Stupid Implications Of Aaron Hernandez's “Ominous” Past
There's a troubling little narrative brewing in the matter of Aaron Hernandez. Even if the writers promoting it won't put it in so many words, it runs like this: Because Hernandez got into trouble in college, the Patriots should have seen this murder stuff coming....

ESPN Cutting Off Bill Simmons Calls For A <em>Sopranos</em> Parody
Last night's curious incident in which Bill Simmons's thoughts on "The Decision" went off into the ether led us (and many commenters) to draw comparisons to the final episode of The Sopranos....

David Beckham Makes Appearance In Shanghai, Causes Stampede
This video plays out like a goddamn horror movie. You spend the first two minutes knowing that shit is about to get really bad, but you still can't force yourself to look away. And then, just when you think that maybe all that buildup won't actually lead to much: chaos!...

Austin NBC Station Runs News Promo During Overtime, Misses Winning Goal
It's not exactly Heidi, but a major blunder by Austin, Tex. NBC affiliate KXAN deprived Lone Star State hockey fans the sudden-death goal that clinched Game 4 for the Blackhawks....



The Downfall Of Civilization Will Be A Foul Ball
There's no real explanation for it, but getting a foul ball—or any other ball that finds its way into the stands—is pretty exciting. It's an unexpected physical reminder of an event. I have a foul ball I got from a spring training game on my desk. I don't know why I keep it—Hey, wanna check out my ...

Sports Editor Charged With Human Trafficking
Bobby Abplanalp, the sports editor for a tiny North Dakota newspaper, was one of two men arrested this week for allegedly trying to pay for sex with a person known to be under 18 years of age....
![Bill Simmons Is Pissed That <em>SportsCenter</em> Edited Out This Joke [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Bill Simmons Is Pissed That <em>SportsCenter</em> Edited Out This Joke [UPDATE]
Up above, Bill Simmons and the rest of the NBA Countdown crew discuss how Dwyane Wade transmogrified himself last night into an All-Star once again. Magic Johnson wonders if he could do it again for Game 5, and Michael Wilbon says he'll benefit from getting two off days. ...
![Tennis Channel CEO: Comcast Battle Like "Being Raped By Brutal Captor" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18qivwajrb351jpg.jpg)
Tennis Channel CEO: Comcast Battle Like "Being Raped By Brutal Captor" [UPDATE]
Two weeks ago, a federal appeals court ruled that Comcast did not have to put Tennis Channel on its basic cable service and could, instead, throw it on a more-expensive sports tier. The court overturned an FCC ruling in the process. Tennis Channel was unhappy about this. In fact, Tennis Channel CEO ...

Javier Mascherano Kicks Driver Carting Him Off Field, Gets Red Carded
This is so dumb....

ESPN Mentioned Tim Tebow 137 Times In 120 Minutes
The Worldwide Leader has really outdone itself....

Florida State WR Charged With Sexually Assaulting Female Friend
Greg Dent, a rising senior receiver for Florida State, was arrested and charged with felony sexual assault last night after he allegedly tried to force himself upon a woman with whom he's been friends for years....

Counterpoint: Baseball Games Are Exactly As Long As They Should Be
The most striking thing about the Baseball Games Are Too Long argument is the amount of time spent thinking about it. ...

Dancin' Mariners Fan Is A Dancin' Fool
What do you do when you get tired of watching your team lose to the Yankees? You dance, man. You just dance like nobody's watching....