owns Page 194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....
BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...
Canadian Sportscaster Does Entire Report In Two-Face Costume
Nothing says legitimate newsgathering operation like anchors in costume, and here's CHEX-TV (Peterborough, Ontario) sports anchor Tyler Calver dressed as Batman villain Two-Face, though I'd like to think he's dressed as ESPN's conflicting business and editorial responsibilities....
The Sad Saga Of A College Football Player Who Didn't Understand How Twitter Works
Elon senior RB Jamal Shuman is frustrated. The Phoenix lost 48-28 Saturday to Wofford, and Shuman only factored in one play—a five-yard pass reception. So he did what anyone would do in that situation, and vented on Twitter....
This Evening: On <em>Around The Horny</em>, Tony Reali Wonders Which "College Undies Will Go Down This Weekend"
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 28, the day we figured out how to just vanish. H/T to TylerRio for the Reali video. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Low-Level Sources Close To Pumpkin Ron Washington Say That Pumpkin Ron Washington Is Not Racist, Still Awaiting Word From Pumpkin
An email, received in 24-point font:...
Texas Pumpkins Accused Of Racism Over Ron Washington Blackface Costumes
Two Dallas-area pumpkins have caused a stir over their costume choices for local Halloween contests. The pumpkins, one from Irving-based 21st Century Dental (left) and the other a part of the Dawson & Sodd law firm in Corsicana (right), showed up to a statewide "pumpkin contest" dressed in the offen...
Mizzou Will Join The SEC On Monday, According To SEC's Premature, Accidental Announcement
Missouri became will become the 14th member of the Southeastern Conference (SEC), according to an announcement posted from the future on the conference's website last night that was almost immediately removed....
Come One, Come All To "Coon-O-Ween," The Halloween Party With Special Guest Aqib Talib (UPDATE)
Tampa Bay Buccaneers corner Aqib Talib seems to love getting in trouble, and even his Halloween plans reflect that....
Nobody Came To T.O.'s Workout Except NFL Network, Who Spent An Hour Talking About Shirts
Terrell Owens is attempting a quick comeback from his rumored April surgery to repair a torn ACL, but his workout show Tuesday played to an empty crowd. That didn't keep NFL Network—led by Andrew Siciliano, Charles Davis, and Lindsay Soto—from dedicating a full hour to coverage, which proved to be...
Sean McDonough On Oliver Luck: "What An Idiot"
This happened Saturday night during a commercial break in Stanford's blowout win over Washington, which was broadcast on ABC/ESPN. McDonough, the play-by-play man, is a Syracuse grad, and Syracuse had beaten the shit out of West Virginia the night before. Just as the cameras found Oliver Luck in t...
Seven-Time Ohio Columnist Of The Year Wonders If Maybe Students Didn't Enjoy Being Sexed By Their Teacher
Paul Daugherty, in addition to having a regular gig on SI.com, has been a sports columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer for a long, long time. So long that they've given him a daily "write about whatever shit you want to" column, which appears to run with minimal editing....
The Sunday Night Football Crew Still Really Likes Talking About Peyton Manning
Because it's too early for flex scheduling to kick in, America was forced to endure yet another nationally televised game involving the Curtis Painter-led Colts....
You'd Probably Curse Too If You Got Stuck Reffing The Seahawks/Browns Game
Tipster Israel M. sent along this little snippet titled, "Ref in Cleveland-seattle game yells FUCK." Yes, he sure seems to do so....
John Tortorella's 16-Second Press Conference Describes The Rangers' Performance Pretty Well
Getting shut out by the Edmonton Oilers, and Nikolai Khabibulin to boot? Allowing 27 shots to the Oilers? Having superduperstar goalie Henrik Lundqvist leave the game with foot pain?...
Darrelle Revis And His PR Handler Hung Up On A Trolling Mike Francesa Today (UPDATE)
WFAN/YES Network host Mike Francesa is a special combination of windbag and gadfly. He's the self-appointed expert on all matters of New York sports, even though he doesn't know much about them. And he loves picking on angry, frothing Jets fans for their loud coach and on-field antics, despite the...
Lazy Hack Philly Newspaper Writer Being Investigated For Doing Cut-And-Paste Job On Blogger's Report
Well, now, this is a delightful twist on that old saw that bloggers do nothing but rewrite all the hard work that gets done by newspaper reporters out there in the field. Click the above image, which was sent to us by Ballin' Is A Habit, to enlarge it. What you'll see is a side-by-side comparison t...
People Are Getting Dumber By The Day About The Harbaugh-Schwartz Fight
It must be a slowass week in the NFL, because people are still being idiots about the dustup between Jim Schwartz and Jim Harbaugh. Hey Mark Schlereth, can I count on you for saying something delightfully cliched and stupid?...
Dan Snyder Does An Interview! (For His Own TV Show. With A Fifth Grader.)
The last time Dan Snyder subjected himself to the terrifying bright lights of a studio interview, it was June, and it was bullshit. Back then, he went on the D.C. affiliates of FOX and NBC and agreed to pretend that his flack, Tony Wyllie, hadn't planted every single question. It was so scripted t...
Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb Negro
Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week....