owns Page 203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
BBC Mistakenly Confuses Media Gadfly For Baseball Expert, Substantial Awkwardness Ensues
Ben Walker writes about baseball for the Associated Press—you'll see his byline, or, perhaps, his words fairly often. Michael Wolff is not Ben Walker. Wolff is a media writer for Vanity Fair, which would never have heard of baseball were Michael Lewis not on its masthead....
Hope Solo Headlines Spring Eternal
Hope Solo and her teammates will play in the Women's World Cup final on Sunday afternoon — largely thanks to Solo's heroics in goal. The worst things to come out of this very exciting thing, though, are the headlines. Here they are, in ascending order of awfulness....
The Seth Meyers-Lynn Hoppes Pre-ESPYs Bro-Down Skewers ESPN
Last we checked in on Page 2's Lynn Hoppes, he was breathlessly name-dropping third-tier celebrities, en route to this whole thing. (Of note: ESPN has since pulled the offending Hoppes video from its YouTube account. Did Brock Lesnar's attorneys complain?) Hoppes is ESPN's expert in the macho-tinged...
My 3,000th Hit
Derek Jeter gave me the only baseball I ever got at a game. It was spring training in Tampa, and I was watching the Yankees practice from behind the dugout. Jeter jogged in with a ball, about to give it to the crowd. At first, I started to wave for it, but then, noticing the other 20 similarly aged ...
Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column
In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit....
Jose Canseco Knows What He Wants And Is Not Afraid To Ask The World For It
Day Two of the latest Jose Canseco sad-clown meltdown saw him preaching from the mountaintop ("Be careful with woman who show off there tits and ass and think that's a career"), real-talking ("I will never forget or forgive what u said to me leila ur evil"), serving as the phone company's Green Pag...
In His Latest Meltdown, Jose Canseco Decided To Publicize His Girlfriend's Phone Number, Drug Of Choice
What started with Jose Canseco's Thursday announcement that "I am asking leila shennib to marry me .will you marry me" has somehow gone off the rails. Imagine that....
DeSean Jackson Tells Radio Caller He's A "Gay-Ass, Faggot" [UPDATE]
Brian from DCFanatic.com recorded the above audio during Eagles wideout DeSean Jackson's June 30 appearance on the All Out Show with Rude Jude and Lord Sear. (It airs on Sirius XM's Shade 45—an Eminem-branded hip hop channel—and is uncensored, if you're interested.)...
ESPN's Shelley Smith's Bizarre Reporting Style Results In Prank Phone Call
ESPN's Shelley Smith did some weird crowd-sourced journalism via Twitter late last night. She tweeted, "neefd rasheed walace to coll me et 310-251-2516. important nreedvrws." A short time later, she tweeted, "ooops . always love hearing from rasheed wallace.....but really need rasheedbhazzard .......
Presenting The Two Most Preposterous Sentences Ever Written About Derek Jeter, As Of 11:06 A.M. Today
Would you like to read the two silliest sentences ever written about Derek Jeter in the mainstream press? Two sentences so silly that if you told me someone had liberated all the drunk tanks within the Beltway and set the good folks loose inside whatever inflatable bouncer passes for the USA Today n...
Mike Holmgren Weighs In On The Santa Cruz Dog-Ban Issue
The 35-year-old ban on dogs in downtown Santa Cruz could come to an end next week. Dog owners have money, and the business owners want it. Asked a leading are-you-surprised-there's-a-ban question by KSBW's Phil Gomez, Mike Holmgren of Scotts Valley said, "I'm a little surprised. I didn't know that,...
ESPN's Wimbledon Bid Is The Future Of Televised Sports
Before the decade is out, sports will exist only on ESPN....
Spero Dedes, New Knicks Announcer, Busted For DUI In Hamptons
Not so long ago, Spero Dedes replaced Gus Johnson as the Knicks' radio announcer. Sure, there's no basketball yet, but Dedes already has followed in the law-breaking footsteps of another Knick announcing legend....
Deion Sanders, Jr. Shaken Down For Attempted Chick-Fil-A Purchase
Deion Sanders Jr. is a highly touted quarterback prospect at Marcus High in Flower Mound, Texas, about an hour from Dallas. Having the name Deion Sanders may help him in this realm....
Largest Sports Site Posts Messi Satire, Second-Largest Sports Site Parrots It As News
On Tuesday, Yahoo's soccer blog posted a seemingly innocuous article on Lionel Messi's loyalty to Barca. "When I eventually pass on, I will only play ghost football at Barcelona. I am happy there. No amount of spirit money will tempt me," he supposedly said....
If The Yankees Don't Let Anyone Say Derek Jeter Is Washed Up, He Won't Be Washed Up
Derek Jeter's injury-rehab assignment to Double-A Trenton is due to begin Saturday night. He's going to do great. At least, you'd better say he's going to do great, if you want to keep writing about the Yankees....
Josh Cribbs Goes To War Against The Tyranny Of Meter Maids
A couple of weeks ago, Browns receiver Josh Cribbs received a ticket for parking his Mercedes at an expired meter in Cleveland Heights. He protested immediately that the meter still had time left, posting a photo of his ticket next to the meter showing 8 minutes remaining. Police say they don't know...
Victim Of Quentin Tarantino Toe-Suck Fired From Job After Toe-Suck Story Goes Viral
Beejoli Shah, who decided it was a good idea to let 15 friendsicles read about her bizarre run-in with Quentin Tarantino and his nubby toe make-out techniques, was let go from her job at LA-based brand-builder GENERATE last night, multiple friendsicles have told us....
Jay Mariotti's Long Downward Spiral
A California judge ruled yesterday that there was sufficient evidence against former ESPN talker and Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti for a trial on assault, domestic violence, and stalking charges....
More From The Jay Mariotti Hearings: Pulling Out Hair <i>Extensions</i> Does Not Make It OK
Last night we alerted you to the news that formerly ubiquitous ESPN pundit Jay Mariotti would stand trial in California on charges of felony stalking, domestic violence, and assault stemming from an April altercation. That came after a no-contest plea on domestic violence charges in September 2010....