owns Page 208 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Watch A Former German Soccer Player Go Off On The Al-Jazeera Guys In Broken English
Lothar "Loddar" Matthäus had major problems with his Al-Jazeera associates at a UEFA Champions League match between Bayern Munich and Inter Milan in March. Specifically, they'd assigned the translator they promised him to an Italian....

Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout, According To Some Shit Mike Florio Threw At The Wall
Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio....

How ESPN Engineered Mark Ingram's Magic Moment
There was a very strange minute of television last week. After Ingram was drafted by New Orleans at No. 28 overall — the same position his father went in 1987 — Suzy Kolber presented/confronted the son with an email from the father....

The Governor Of Ohio Totally Taunted Browns Fans The Other Day
The governor of Ohio, John Kasich, is the type of chap who'd host a show on Fox News Channel called "Heartland with John Kasich." He went to The Ohio State University. He's also a Steelers fan, division foe of Ohio's two NFL franchises....

Here's A Cartoon Rendering Of Roger McDowell's Recent Conversation With San Francisco Giants Fans
Noted prankster and Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell has been placed on something called "administrative leave" while the team looks into the anti-gay slurs and gestures he publicly offered the other day. This video from ckettering should help the probe....

NFL Draft Pundit @I_Just_Came Bathes In, Retreats From The Spotlight
A few of you have sent us, with apparent rage and glee, this screenshot of last night's draft coverage on NFL Network. What foolishness, you screamed, that the NFL's own broadcast arm would allow a Twitterer with such a handle onto its coverage!...

Josh Smith Responds To "Crazy Bandwagon Columnist" Who Guaranteed Hawks Would Blow Series Lead
Three days ago, when the Atlanta Hawks were leading the Orlando Magic three games to two in their series, Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel wrote a column that predicted the Hawks would squander the lead and that included the phrase "Call me a crazy bandwagon columnist." So we'll go ahead and c...

Vancouver Sun Columnist Has Transparent Crush On Sedin Twins
Maybe they do things weird up there, but this story (headline: "Daniel cements his Hart throb status"), by the Sun's Cam Cole, seems an unlikely way to tell Canuck fans that their team's top scorer is an MVP finalist....

Paul Shirley And The Fat Woman Get Political
You remember Paul Shirley. We once described him as a "onetime baller, sometime music critic and all-around man of letters." At the time we were discussing his controversial freelance piece on post-earthquake Haiti, and certain points like asking them to "use a condom once in a while."...

An Exclusive Interview With Tommy Craggs About The Bill Simmons "Grantland" Project
Approximately one month ago, Deadspin Senior Editor Tommy Craggs was approached by several fine folks involved in Bill Simmons' then unnamed editorial project, which we now know, thanks to Richard Deitsch's Twitter account, is called Grantland. ESPN issued a press release soon after that report and...

Jack Edwards's Baffling Pro-Boston, Anti-Royalty Rant
Noted homer Jack Edwards probably couldn't sleep last night after his beloved Bruins came back to oust the Canadiens in 7 games. But before tossing and turning with visions of Jozef Stümpel dancing in his head, he had some parting words on the NESN postgame show....

Tony Kornheiser Finally, Frustratingly Weighs In On Dan Snyder
Kornheiser is the most visible members of the Washington DC sports media scene. He's also employed by Dan Snyder's radio broadcasting company, and ESPN. Because of the latter, he's been silent on the matter, and because of the former, that silence speaks volumes....

Dan Snyder Explains Why He's Being A Prick
Dan Snyder explains himself and his newly refiled lawsuit this morning over at Fred Hiatt's bullshit emporium. The piece contains all the spoon-banging you've come to expect from Snyder — "I am not thin-skinned" is probably the most ridiculous assertion on that op-ed page since whatever George Will ...

Sportswriters Struggle With Turns Of Phrase For Franklin Gutierrez's Spastic Pooping
At least Franklin Gutierrez now knows what caused all of his stomach problems for nearly a full year. Gutierrez visited the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota earlier this week, where he was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome as the cause of his stomach issues that first popped up last summer....

This Lady's Likes Include Jeff Gordon And Profanity; Her Dislikes Are Jimmie Johnson, Talladega, Bras
Last Sunday at Talladega featured the closest race in NASCAR history in the form of a photo finish. Exciting, yes sir. But as this fine American girl also proves, Jimmie Johnson's two-thousandths-of-a-second victory was infuriating for some....

Bill Plaschke Is Easily Distracted
Because every stupid thing in sports requires one to take sides, we're torn on this one. Do we agree with the guy who willingly puts his life on display on an E! reality show, then says it's not fair to talk about his personal life? Or do we agree with — gulp — Bill Plaschke? You can see our dilemma...

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

Police Somehow Find 6-Foot-9, 300-Pound Former NBA Player Who Allegedly Pistol-Whipped A Guy At A BBQ
The Anne Arundel County (Maryland) cops on Tuesday arrested former NBA big big man Oliver Miller, who allegedly pistol-whipped a dude with a Glock at a barbeque on Sunday. Miller fled the scene in his 2003 BMW X5 with several buckets of coleslaw and the secret recipe for a vinegar-based sauce....

<i>NYDN</i>: "Blah blah blah blah rain blah blah blah Niese blah blah Astros blah blah Mets got spanked."
New York Daily News scribe Andy Martino has written a game story that speaks for every fan of the 2011 Mets. What it lacks in rhetorical fluency it makes up for in, uh, truth. This isn't an editing error, although it may look that way at first blush. The Mets have reached the summit of suck....

Over At CNN, ESPN's LZ Granderson Takes Aim At American Culture, Whore-Friendly Panties
ESPN.com/ESPN Mag columnist LZ Granderson joined CNN last week, apparently writing a weekly column in addition to his ESPN gig. Why would Granderson need another online platform, one might wonder, especially since his Page 2 pieces often tackle stuff other columnists won't?...